Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Death of the Mix-Tape

The first place I lived once I moved out of my parents house, maybe 18 or 19 yrs old, was a house w 2 friends.
First thing I did was paint the entire room sky blue.  It was a corner room so I had two windows.  Surrounded by trees, so there was always a nice breeze coming through.

I collected Rolling Stones from my favorite bands,  framed the and hung them on a wall.  The goal was to collect their debut covers, not just a feature, but features as well.  I had about a dozen different covers.
Smallish bed in a corner, one dresser which was home to Id, my boa snake.  Mean little bastard.  
No television, just a stereo.
I had 4 speakers, definitely too big for the room, but they doubled for seating.

I was definitely an odd bird.  The house was active and fun, but I normally stayed away and in my room.  Friends would joke that it was my trick to bait people into "deep talks."

Actually, the room was just too sweet.  I was young, on my own for the first time, and just enjoyed being able to do what I wanted... so I stayed there and played music.

I dont know if theres ever a phase in life we can ever look back on and not say "that was an important time."  Every phase has its key moments that can budge us just 1 degree north, and it doesn't seem like much at the time.  But over and distance, that budge can create miles.  But this was an important time.
It was the mid-late 90's and music was passionate and purposeful.  I think this era was probably the end of solid music and great, great bands.  Guys like Keidis, Flea, Frusciante and Smith dont really find each other these days..  

So it was kind of a thing to do, make mix tapes.  Maybe you found some things and wanted to share with friends or friends with similar music taste or friends with opposite music taste but needed better taste or other friends.
Could be a theme or a "soundtrack," of something in mind or event together... could've been anything.  We'd exchange and listen and then ask "what was that about??" or say nothing but just agree or just understand.  Friends didn't need to actually say much then.

Many, many nights went by with just jokes, drinks and this stuff, I think the best drug possible... music.

It wasnt all grunge and indy rock... Grunge opened us open to the electric guitar and more questions.  Obviously, the name was always known but never the why.  It was that particular summer where I found a sound that made me believe in angels... or aliens.  Because I truly do not believe a human being can do something this perfect over and over and over again.  He walked cool, he talked cool.  He made sounds with this guitar that tap into brain waves we dont even have names for yet.... but you hear it and a chemical releases and you're not on Earth anymore.
Enjoy these 12 minutes....  (below)

And it made me love music even more.  I saved up a few bucks and bought an acoustic guitar, same model my friend had.  Id try to interpret tabs and find some similar sounds but with little success.  Eventually, my friend helped teach me a few (and solo)

And I saw that solo with a slide and I thought, "that looked really awesome," so I went and bought one.  I remember hearing his name only because he opened for Pearl Jam, but I was a closed minded D and didnt care unless I found it.  Kinda like Jack Blacks obnoxious character in High Fidelity.  So when I eventually found Ben Harper, I thought of the premise of Twins, the Arnold movie.  5 of the best brains and bodies in the world, mix their (cough) together and create a super baby.  If Neil Young, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, Marvin Gaye, Jimmy Page, had a baby...
I heard him say once "I'm a flawed human, but the music will never lie."  I related to that.  

When you're younger, you're more willing to ask questions and work in very way to figure it out.  You dont have much to lose, so you have big balls and you're cocky.  You're not afraid of losing.  Whats the worst that can happen?  Lose a car?  Walk to work, it was just 10 minutes away.  Lose money?  The only thing you need is food and rent, which was $200, I think, may have been less.  So you're stress is super low and your mind is free.  And like I said, you were more willing to ask questions...

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Random Observations & Opinions

I sent out some texts offering Alpha Brain at discount and this text ensued:

My head would probably explode
You should try these just for the dream state... How was your retreat?
haha really?  It makes you dream better?
Helps you transition into a lucid state, active and in control.
Thats nuts!!!  My retreat was awesome, we did a lot of meditation and yoga and activities to on getting our demons out, things like that.
Are you enjoying your meditation?
Honestly, its really hard for me and its not a practiced skill yet.  my mind is going 1000 different places and I kept fidgeting and its definitely  something I need to start working on more proactively. 
I swear its fun... I love when youre working on diving in and some random crap pops up and you just go "ahhh a distraction wants to try," and you exhale it right away.  I think the same skill needed to recognize a distraction in meditation is the skill needed to see the roots or reactions or emotions.  And then to witness yourself react in a way and go "ahhh that was ____ version of my trying to ____."
Yes, I really think its so needed, especially in life today! 
Super helpful for self-awareness.  I think when its a skill, you're only then able to deliver your true self because the bullshit versions are so "out of the dark," theyre almost annoying.  Like a friend who puts on the show for certain situations, we can see it in ourselves, recognize it immediately and wash it away.  
Yes, I see what you mean.  I think once you realize theres this awareness, things in life start falling into place differently and its almost like the universe kind of gives you these people and circumstances that just fit with exactly what you need at that moment.
Oh ya, I totally agree.  Life can get very different, like peaking behind a stage curtain, once you can see this way.  You can recognize peoples "why," without them saying it.  You can see insecurities and fears and egos.  You should find a float tank.


I think as we've developed electronics and technologies to make life easier, we've become soft.  Mental work is really needed.  Dont know an answer, grab your phone and type it in, nothing needs to be memorized.  We've become fast and self serving.  A generation is passing that knew hard work, that worked through actual hardships, military drafts and economic collapses.  The Grunge Gen X-ers grew up disliking their parents so they worked to be the opposite and in turn are working on creating a very soft and weak group.  Not all, but enough of a wave to see.
How many young people do you meet now with killer work ethics?


Browns lose... "BROWNS SUCK!!"
Browns win... "THE OPPONENTS MUST SUCK!!!"
This is loser mentality that piece of crap franchise has helped build.    There is no other franchise in all of sports as bad as this one we're stuck with.  From ownership all the way down, horrible.
We have players who are uninspired. "They make a million dollars!  That outta inspire them."  Yes and no.
We have coaches in over their head and under the thumb of an owner who pulls too many triggers behind the scenes.
Ray Farmer should've been fired the day he text the OC from his loge.
We need to throw $20,000,000+ at a very legit, experienced, former champion coach that knows players, that knows how things go in the locker room, that can recruit coaches and recognize talent.
Bill Cowher, Herm Edwards, John Gruden, Bill Parcells.  $20,000,000 and absolute power.


Why do we enjoy seeing greatness fail?
A few weeks back, the facebook world exploded in joy when Ronda Rousey was knocked out.  Why?  Its happened time and time again, people love to see greatness fall.
I think its sad.  I think a lot of people hate to see something they can never be.  So when it falls, they can go "YA!  Now we're more similar!"
When I wrote about LeBrons return last year, I titled it "fan of greatness," because thats what I am.  I very rarely care about who wins and loses, I just want to witness greatness in action.   Last night Conor McGregor knocked out Jose Aldo within 13 seconds, one punch.  (Fluky?  Eh, kinda.  I think anytime something like that happens there's a bit of luck.  but then again, I wouldn't actually know. I dont know the training involved.  Maybe its something that was practiced and Conor knew to throw a left when Jose moved a particular way).  Back to point, it sucked for me.  Not because of who won or lost, but because it was 13 seconds.  I was rooting for a great 5 round battle of two of the most phenomenal athletes walking the planet.
When a guy/girl gets knocked out or beaten badly, thats not great to see but the effort involved in obtaining the skills to make it happen... unbelievable by most.  We work out for an hour, maybe 2 and think "F this, im going home."  These people train 6, 7, 8 hours a day, with a nutrition plan that... well, makes them look how they look, shredded and ready for greatness.
Dont be hater.  Be a fan of witnessing greatness.


Are humans kind or mean by nature?
Or both?
Hard to tell sometimes.  As much as a holiday can and should highlight love and kindness... do you feel it?  Are people generally selfish?  Greedy?
Or are they generally giving and helpful?
I dont have an answer or ramble on this... I'm searching for more nice people.  I know a few, but searching for more.


To be anti anything, you must fully understand what it is you are against.
We are obviously permitted in nature to disagree, all animals do at some point about some thing (yes, you are an animal), but you have to have the information of your stance and the "opposition."  And even then, you must acknowledge and understand the roots of your own stance.
Ask why.
Example... let me think of a hot topic.  I dont really know much about the refuge situation other than people have fled their homes for safety and for some reason, that safe place cant be the United States... Politics would be a good one though, but its a game I know we dont actually control or have a voice so.  "Thats the problem you asshole!  Your vote matters!"  Eh, bullshit.  This president proved that.  You may think your vote matters, but when its all said and done, its the billionaires that matter and control things.
Let me text some people and get an idea...


Top Pearl Jam song I heard today
Lukin (live version, played as a slow song, beautiful and I may have teared a drop)


I know some people who still think life is endless and we wont die and they scare the shit out of me and I find them extremely unattractive.
Lets say you KNOW you have 80 years... you can plan a bit, right?  You may go out when you want, stay home when you want, build relationships when you want and do anything, because you know "I have x years left."
But there are wacky people who act that way, yet ignore what they dont know. 
What they/we don't know, is the clock.  And everyone's clock is different.   I'm 38, so it works be nice to think I have 42, 52 years left.  But I actually know it could easily be 2 or 12.  Things happen.
Why stay home?
Why say no?
Why hold back?
Why limit yourself?
Why hurt yourself?
Why not experience more?
Why not break the monotony?
Why not do something different, just to see how it turns out?

Do not be a complacent, lazy, selfish human.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

10 years and maybe longer...

Little intro before it gets going (hopefully)...

Before I was ever involved in training, I was coaching.  Started coaching about two years before my oldest daughter, maybe three.  After so long, and different stops, it's kind of hard to tell when things started, the timeline gets fuzzy.  I see it more in phases.  I had HS, then a couple years dicking around after HS, then I got a phone call from my old coach asking my if I was interested in getting involved.  I started off as a scout and volunteer middle school, I made $25 per week.  Doesn't that already sound like some old school story from the 50's?  "I made $25 per week," and never cared.
Even then I had a knack for communicating and tapping into a deeper level, something I think all coaches must have.  If you've read anything or know me the slightest, you know I grew up idolizing Joe Paterno (even typing the name still makes me cry, literally), but I was also a huge Phil Jackson fan and read all his books.  His first "Sacred Hoops," I feel is one of the best sports psych around.  How he drew a picture, combining chaos of sports and art of movement, was inspiring.  He wrote about basketball as if it were yoga, moving meditation.  Calm in chaos.  So as I'm coming along, learning as I go, being around some solid coaches, following JoePa and taking in this Zen mindset, things began to develop.  My approach to coaching was developing.

Fast forward...
2 daughters
personal training
5 schools
my own development
yoga journey
life, etc

This past week was our awards banquet for the team.  All coaches had a chance to speak about their guys and inside the days leading up to it, were nerves.  I'm actually not nervous about public speaking, I'm nervous about saying too much and not know when to shut up or slip up and take things down a completely different direction. I had one kid to speak about and wrote up a power point of things to remember in case I slipped away from task but I nearly blew it up within 3 seconds.  Anyway! It went well, I'm sure parents were pleased, it was a 5, safe and sound.

But then we text after and I'll keep his end private but I will share what I wrote:
"Let football be your guidelines for other greatness and use what you went through as a learning tool and strive for excellence at everything you do moving down the road.  Words like preparation and persistence, and then what I said about you tonight "intensity, passion and enthusiasm," let those words ring in your ears to help you build an incredible life.  Never lose the drive, never lose the heart, and work hard at everything you do."
What I said about this young man was that he had the basics to play the position.  Speed, strength, awareness, experience.  But it was the x factors that made him stand out.  Enthusiasm to play the game, the will to play with intensity and the passion to play full go, regardless of score or outcome.

So many of us have the basics we need for x, y and z.  We are all able to play our "positions."  But to be great, you/we/I have to have more.

I remember a guy I coached a few years ago, we had some troubles connecting.  We got along fine, but when I needed some fire out of him, it just wasnt there.  He was a very smart kid and it made me wonder, "Does he just think too much?  Can he not let it loose?"  So I knew I had to find a more common ground for us to BS about and see what I could learn.  Turns out he plays guitar, ironically enough I've had a handful of guitar playing linebackers.  So I ask him, "who do you play like?  Who inspires you?"  Thank God he said Jimi Hendrix, because that was all I needed.  I asked more questions, diving into why he plays guitar, what he feels, why he enjoys it and on and on.  Within a few days, I turned guitar into defensive football and it felt like I stole a chapter right out of Coach Jacksons book.  His play improved immediately.  He started playing faster, he started communicating more and he started playing with more confidence and I'm pretty sure ended up w a nice collection of awards when it was all said and done.
He was smart, so he didn't need me to help him get it together in the class room.  He had plenty of family support, so he didn't need me there.  He was strong and fast, didn't need me there.  What he needed was to play with passion, enthusiasm and intensity, the same tools he already possessed but didn't realize.  All I did was show him a door, help him through and turned on a light.

I've had other guys that were the opposite.  Too much fire and explosive passion and it needed to be reigned in a bit.  Some guys get out there and the game is so emotional, things can get very intense.  If a guy doesnt know how to channel it, damage will be done.  Physically to himself, someone else and/or odds are very high of losing control.  Also, when guy is only fueled by emotion, the mind is removed, and I want and need balance.  The position I coach, in a lot of ways, is the QB of the D.  My guys cannot be absolute maniacs (but I do kinda like when they potential to be a maniac) because they need to see things clearly, make particular calls and move the defense.   If his mind is clouded with explosions and chaos, it wont work well.  Balance.  Calm in chaos.  Knowing when to explode and when to play safe.

This is what coaching is for and this is 100% why I do it.  I've been a part of teams that went 1-9 and teams that went 10-0... does losing suck?  Absolutely.  Is winning more fun?  Obviously.
But the only thing I ever care to actually do is help guys improve and prepare them for the path.  Football is just a tool we can use, temporarily, to teach fundamentals for life and add to the experience.

Thinking back to my HS days, without football, I couldn't even imagine who I would be today.  The lessons I may have missed.  Without the coaches I had, without the experiences with my friends and teammates on the practice fields... I don't know where else I would've learned them.

How about a few pics?

 and a few oldies for fun....

Sunday, October 11, 2015

The C Word...EW

Being able to post and not read posts = excellent decision.  It's like I'm sitting up in a tree, no clue as to whats happening below, and yelling random things to whoever happens to be within reach.  Good move.

Now, the post...

I was on the verge of saying "Anyone under 31..." but then I kinda watched people for a few days and realized that's not the right age.
Might not even be an age, might be a problem with society in general and the lazy ass world that's being created.

I've been seeing the C word everywhere.
Casual behavior.
Casual effort.
Casual parenting.
Casual working.
Casual coaching.
Casual training.
Casual thinking.
Casual everything.

I know people, young people, who fear failure.  The fear failure so bad, they don't work hard, they don't put their heart into it.  They're casual.  Because if they try hard, if they buy in and give it their heart, and fail... it'll be too much. How sad is that?
AND, it's everywhere.

I blame a lot of it on all this hippy zen crap (kind tongue in cheek there).
But again, not.

Somehow people think "If I sign up and show up, walk through, do x, y and z, I'll be good enough, I'll be ok."
"If I go to work and just do _____, I'll be ok."
"If my kid just ______, I'll be ok."
"If I eat ______, this week, I'll be ok."

How about F being just ok?
Why is average the goal?
Why is just making it or just being good enough, good enough?

I see it in someone and I look at them like they smoke.  You know how smoking is such an odd thing now, when you see it, you're like
Same thing.

You half ass projects?  

You don't work hard?  

You make excuses for
coming up short?

You only go 65% but act like your're all in?

You only work 35 hours per week but think you should be rewarded for 60??

You train 3 days per week, eat like shit and wonder where the results are?

You dont give.  You dont help.  You dont try.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Inside Job

I know I wrote that I wasnt planning on writing much or anything, but I was telling a friend the story I'm about to write.  An hour later, this pic shows up in my text.


In the past, I've hinted at or pretty much told you about the different types of therapies I get involved with.  No medications. I heard a quote once that was something like "They cut at the damaged branches while ignoring the roots."  I think that fits well how I approach this.  For better or worse, whatever I find, I want the roots.  

Between the float tank and hypnotization (isnt that a word?  my spell check is flagging it), I've had 3 visions that have had a great effect on me, #3 being most dramatic.

I've replayed them in my head so many times, I feel I've shared them already.  If I start one you've read, skip ahead.

I remember being above a stage in an old theater,  parallel to the curtains, so I could see the play and the back stage action.
No one was in the audience.  The only action was seeing people walk across at one side and walk back in the other, but when they'd walk behind the curtain, they turned blank.  No face, generic body.  They made their way back over to the entrance side again and repeated it.  They'd come out new.  new bodies, new faces and then return back stage to nothing.  
What it means... I dont know.  Maybe we're all the same.  Maybe this vision was trying to teach me.

As I've said, in these sessions, I'm gone.  GONE.  So I do believe, a deep level of my subconscious is at play throughout.  Trouble shooting, relaying messages.  There's a communication at play that I cant hear during daily activities... it's always there, but muted or hidden underneath all the traffic and confusion that we see as our lives.

Similar to above but uniquely different.
I was floating in the tank, and once i stop splashing around like a child, I force myself to focus in on my meditation, something I've been very good (disciplined) with lately.  
First let me explain the tank.  When you walk into the room, it looks like a box you wouldnt fit in, or me at least.  You step inside and its maybe 4-6 inches of salt water, the salt water keeps you floating.  You step in and lay down, closing the hatch above your head.  When you do this, it's now pitch black.  No sound, no smells.  The water and air are the same temp as your body, so once you stop moving for a few seconds and relax... you're off.  Now, there is a mind game at play here, big time.  My first time, it was tricky getting comfy, to stop wondering how it was working or to move around, not trusting the process.  All of these were distractions and resistance. 

So, I'm meditating in a pitch black box of salt water...
My focus is to breathe.. in and out, inhale a thought, exhale a thought... inhale and exhale, imagine my head getting more and more clear with every exhale.  If something distracting pops in, I acknowledge it and exhale it and move on. 
Before I know it, I'm seeing things... 
I remember seeing the back of film strips.  As if I was on the opposite side of a movie screen.  I was looking out or up (eyes closed), and seeing myself as a kid, but everything was in reverse.  Lefts were rights, and all of that.  And it was black and white.  As I watched, the screen waved round, like the wind would blow it, it didnt stop or move out of distance, just waved like a flag and continued on. 
I remember thinking "why is it like this?  Why do I see the opposite side?"

You know when you jerk out of nap fast?  That is scary as shit when your in a black box of water.

I was diving deep into a state... I knew going into this session, that it was going to be intense but that was my intent.  I wanted to dive as deep as possible and see whats there.

So I'm focusing my thought on a person and people... I'm seeing them/him/her, and they up above me, at a 45 degree angle floating around, spinning and moving.
Somehow, they changed into a ball.  A large glowing ball of colors and angles.  think of rubics cube, but with unlimited colors and instead of 6 sides, its millions. Just a bright ball of neon and shapes, spinning around, glowing, w a beating heart... in my head, it was still people/a person.... but visually, it was a glowing ball of shapes and colors.

i remember coming out thinking that this really was who we are.  for days I thought - We think we're just a, b and c, but we're limitless and not just a particular type of limitless, but even limitless from there.  The colors were already unlimited, but the shapes magnified it by itself, limitless. 

I've approached all people differently since.  And I was already a fairly emotional, empathetic, sensitive guy (to a point), this definitely added a level. 
People talk to me and I can wonder - Is this habit, or are they doing the math?  The decision they're making, the thoughts they're having, are they new?  Is it out of protection?  Are they feeling and hearing their voice?  

The eyes can tell you everything.  Body language is one thing, but it's all right there in the eyes.    

The therapy is very real guys.  I suggest you dive in. 

I've had this song in my head.  I miss using it in the power room. 
One time, crank it up all the way.  

Monday, September 14, 2015

You're on the clock

(I'll attempt to keep details vague to hide some things).


I was in a public place and someone I knew was there, just one.  We know each other enough, but not enough where we care to do anything more than a nod or smile.
So at some point I had to ask a quick question, physically, words weren't even needed, and person x looked... Kinda sneered and brushed it off like "ya ya get out of my face."

Personally, I didn't give a shit.  They are who they are.  But it did hit me what they do for a living.  I thought "if I needed my hair done, i would never go to x or recommend just because they're an asshole."
I used to give a similar talk to trainers in class, I'd say - You are your business card and you're always on the clock.
You never know who is watching, who is paying attention, why they're paying attention, who they know, how it could affect you one day, etc.

THEN it hit me from another angle... How much it must suck to have to put on an act.  To be a dick in real life, but have to fake it.  To be an actual asshole, a bad, rude, douche and have to smile at people and it be disingenuous (did I use that big word correctly?)
  I used to work for a guy like that.  He'd smile to your face, compliment you and give you a pat on the back, but demean you in private.   

So pretend we're on the clock... Are you free to be you?
Are you good enough to be yourself?  The real you? Brave enough?

The rude, the assholes, bullies, dickheads, whatever else... They're just damaged humans who wear their big tough mask to intimidate.   I don't dislike them, I have sympathy for them and their weakness.

I like people who aren't afraid to show their scars and tattoos.  People who aren't ashamed of their travels, but proud of their survival.  They know how to smile at the pain and accept days as lessons on the journey, open to all its experiences, whether labeled "good," or "bad," in their head.
But their is no good and bad, just lessons.  And some lessons suck and we may wish we didn't learn them or that they were able to be learned w less pain.
But I train smarter because of my injuries.
I appreciate more because of my failures.
I love you all more because I know lonliness.... (And you know my clock is legit, wherever you see me.)
People who need their hair just so, never swear, overly concerned w they're perfect limit image...? We all see right through you.
When you know pain, when you know your edge, not the bullshit "edge," of a freakin yoga mat, your life edge, you've seen another side of it all and your appreciation for literally everything is magnified.  

I was in a theatre, 12-13 years ago, watching a movie alone.  Fight Club.  
Put away candy crush for 4 minutes, watch this, then come back: http://youtu.be/9PWbSsVYeFo

Wouldn't you rather absorb life and the interpretation of?
Be flawed but be nice. 
Have an experience.
Do something uncomfortable.
If you're not weird, I don't trust you.  I know you'll break when needed.  The weird have very few fears and they're willing to let it fly.
When's the last time you went for a run in the woods and got lost? On purpose.
What's your last rock concert?
When's the last time you cried? Out of happiness or sadness, both.
What's the last thing that excited you?  That made your heart race, made you nervous?
What are you going to leave behind? 
Regret or experiences?  A story or nothing at all?  
Did you help or did you hurt?  
Did you take or give?  

You are on the clock, like it or not.
Are you going to sit their watching the minutes/hours then days and weekends "oh shit, I'm 34 already!" then 40-45-50... "What do I do?  It's almost over and I haven't done anything!"

Get in the game.

(Share this if it's useful)

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Hey Hey, My My

"You good?"
-Ha, I always read that like a trick question!
"You're fb post concerned me. Just want to know my boy is good."
-No... Truth... This world isn't home... so my social media thing is a hopeful way to disconnect from this crazy planet and create my own world 
"Interesting.  Wanna have a sit down?"
-ha think I've finally lost it?
"Maybe you've found it."


If we don't like our job, we have the freedom to change it.
If we don't like our body, energy, eye sight, clothes, car, house, partner, pet, _______, we have the freedom to change it.
Obviously, not all changes are easy and some are harder than others, but we have free will and can change if choose to and make every effort to.

What if we don't like the information that comes to us?
What if we don't like what we see in this particular "reality?"
Can we change our actual reality?


For me, Facebook was about sharing a story, try to be useful, share music and books and podcasts... But I feel a little bitter-sweet about it all.
I wanted to be completely invisible, just operate behind the scenes, trying to make something cool happen.  I wanted to have an idea, whisper it to someone and let them have the success.  So this is just a mini step, searching to become invisible again.
I was a pretty naive, introverted guy... I don't like the things I've learned on social media.

Facebook was designed to connect us... Has it?  
(Ironically, you're probably reading this via a link I just shared on social media).  

I have x number of friends on Facebook, yet when I go to the mall, I see people I'm "friends with," avoiding eye contact, staring at their phones and walking past.
Think it's a coincidence we have so many socially awkward people around?  

I see news stories apps/links covering things that aren't news.  
Hollywood is not news.  Bruce Jenner becoming Caitlyn is not newsworthy.  Kanye West is not newsworthy.  
Then the things that are newsworthy are manipulated and snow ball into x more stories that arent newsworthy.  
Would the riots have been the same without social media?
It's a distraction from news, just as the phone is a distraction from life.  We look down, not up.  We create false connections over electrical devices, not actual human contact.
"Another boy dead over Heroin overdose," is the news headline, but that's not the story.  The news as we now know it sells fear, not stories. 


I see Facebook and I see the ego of us, creating a particular picture that we want everyone to think of us.
And it's not reality.
Facebook has created High School, Part 2, but here you're free to recreate however you like.
And it's still not reality.
Everything we eat, we can think "is this helping me or hurting me?"
But we don't do that with our eyes/minds.  Scrolling through Facebook, very few posts offer "help," or anything positive to help us build positive momentum in our lives.  I see too many pains, too many posts, links, pics that are really online bullying, or chest pounding "Look at me!"
Did I get 10+ likes??  Success!!!!!


I was at a restaurant and just glancing around... everyone had company at their table, yet had their phones right there.  A text or phone call came through or whatever app notified them of something incredibly important, and their mind left the table and headed off into the iWorld...  


I was at another function recently... around 100 people or so stopped by to say hi and talk about the reason I was in their area.  We spoke about fitness and working out, which lead to pains and injuries or excuses and procrastination.  As x amount of people came through, I stopped seeing them as they were in the physical form, in front of me.  
They became the same... not in a bitter "you're all the same," type thought but in a "WE're all the same," type thought.
We all have the exact same needs yet we think and act so different.
Deep down we need water, nutrition, sunlight, human touch, movement, brain stimulation and other very primal needs.
Yet over the last 20-30 years, we've changed and headed into a new direction of isolation.  We're becoming more anti social in this social media world.  
Customer service is no longer serving the customer.  It's just banging out x amount of files per day.  You're not cared for because now, you're a number, you're notification on an app.  It's become a fast food society.  
We don't have to learn, because the answers are at our finger tips.
We're never alone because... well, right t our finger tips is 1000 conversations we can now interact with...
But none of it is real.  


This entire world we operate within is completely unnatural for us.  We've boxed ourselves into games of "house," and "adult," and "life," with rules that our brains and hearts and souls weren't really meant to understand fully.
The system says "you need a degree..."
And then make $30,000/year with that 4 year degree...
And then that job is forcing you to get a masters within 2-4 years...
And add another $20,000-$30,000 in debt on top of the $100,000+ you've already accumulated...
And now you're 27 and wanting to get married, buy a house and have kids...
So thats another chunk of change, handcuffing you to a job that completely under pays you and you're starting to see "oh shit, if I'm lucky my school loan will be paid off by the time I'm 39."

How many teachers can relate to that scenario?  Yet here we are, willingly playing these games that we didn't sign up for because.... everyone's doing it!


So I posted:
All social media accounts will be down soon. Looking to unplug and disconnect from the ego/mask and drama drug we've grown up addicted to.
Hung into them for this long for business reasons and to share... But scrolling feeds, it's really just loaded w shit I don't care to read. Shit talk, pain, negativity, etc. I'd read it and it would bring me down. My wife mentions things on the news, and it's all news to me... Better or worse, I want to ignorant to the outside world... I don't want to be effected anymore by the craziness that's reported. I know human instincts and capabilities, I don't need to read it/see it and then feel it.
The joy was reading people's successes and seeing pics of friends and their families, showing pics of my girls and life... those friendships should be live and in person. Show me your pics when we see each other, tell me your stories at happy hour.
If you've enjoyed the entries in the link, hit it and subscribe. When my flip phone arrives, that'll be it for this drug (Facebook - you think it connected us, I think it did the opposite)
If you're interested in personal training or hanging out:
my number is 440-983-7783
email: bickeljason409@gmail.com
As for these blogs, I'll continue to write but wont be sharing via social media.  There's a link on the right to subscribe, if you like.

As for marketing for business, Im fine with not using social media... I want to found naturally, for better or worse, not because I posted some dumbass ad at the right moment.  Find me because you heard I'm good, not because I'm here.


The song below is one I find myself humming daily... The story, the movie, the soundtrack has been with me a long time and moves me very much.  The song means, to me, literally what hes singing.  "society, crazy indeed, hope you're not lonely, without me."
My personal opinion, there's something really beautiful to me in going hard, pouring your heart into every single thing you touch, your whole life... just give and give and give and give more and leave it all out there, with nothing in the tank...
then gone, like a shooting star.
So remember kids, "it's better to burn out than fade away."

Can you tell I start off sober then slip into weirdness and music analogies?