Sunday, April 24, 2016

What To Expect At Summer Boot

This will be the 5th or 6th year of running these and we'll be turning back the clock a bit and integrating some of the ideas that were used in year 1.

The idea reaches back to my very first training opportunity.  I was shadowing/interning at a studio in Beechwood and the owner, who was "ranked," by a national magazine as a top 10 or 20 trainer in the nation, would notice my sessions.  To keep the story short, I think he saw me over-using some overly complicated movements, masking them under the "functional," blanket.  He asked "Why do you do that?"  I probably became nervous and answered with something out of a text book.  He went on and said that it didn't look "natural," and the session didn't have a "flow," to it.  He pulled me out of his rotation and I was back to shadowing.  He mentioned his "flow," more and knowing everything I know now, I saw it.  He transitioned between strength movements the way a yoga flow would, and it's something nearly all of you have done with me.   So I began to see his rhythm and used it.  
Then he saw me again and asked "why?"

He knew I was a football coach.  He knew I had a base and passion in athletics and movement.  He said "You're training the next client at (whatever time).  Train her like you would a strong safety (football position just in case you dont watch)."  I said ok and asked for some details.
"54 year old female, about 40 pounds to lose."

That one day really was the first step to everything.  Train like an athlete.  Obviously, I now see things a tad differently but the base is still there.  Not everyone can train like an athlete, but even those who cant, I actually train them like an athlete in rehab.  Injuries, aches and pains, limitations, anything that pops up, my first thought in my mind set is "Lets get back to moving without pain," and we proceed from there.

When I was young, I underestimated peoples power and strength.  I'd see someone, not know anything, and underestimate their effort, their ability and their heart. I thought only person "x" was able to work like an athlete, not the mom from the school.  The mom from the school was looking for the nice session, lets do some crunches and feel good.  Again, we now know I grew up and learned.

So to boots...
I was working at a chain gym in the Mayfield area, doing a real solid job, very proud of the work that went on there.  One client asked "how much would it cost to bring some friends in?"  The gym didnt allow it.   Client said "Lets go to the park, I'll bring some friends."
I thought hhhhmmmm... What can I do for 60 minutes?  At a park?  With almost zero equipment?

First thought - Speed & Agility
Prior to this first class, I ran probably over 50 of these sessions, but with high school kids.  No difference.  I pulled out an agility ladder, I pulled out some cones and we were off and the ladies LOVED it.  I trained that first season like it was my team, my defensive backs, all had to improve speed and movement.

So count on seeing a lot of that this year, something we haven't really touched much over the last 2-3 season.  We were focused on travelling with kettles and finding fun places and that was all fine, but this year is about results, it's about training, and above all it's about you finding that window, that little voice that reminds you "yes, this is what I need to be doing."

Keep reading...

A new trainer pulled me aside the other day and asked what helps me put together the sessions, any sessions, any program.
I said #1, their goals. The goals sets the program, but the goals isn't a step, its the goal.  To get to goal, we need A, B and C.  And in between A, B and C is Aa, Bb and Cc, on and on.  We have primary muscles and secondary muscles.  We have the big movers and all the little muscles that help the big movers and all need trained.  Some need trained hard and fast, some slow and easy.  We need flexibility, cardio, core endurance and strength, mental toughness, we need to be able to breathe right on and on.  We all want to move with pain, we want to be to accomplish things (whatever it may be) and we want to look good naked.  Flat out.  We want to look in the mirror and like what we see.  That doesn't always mean 6 pack or big shoulders or whatever.  Sometimes looking in the mirror, naked, is just a time to say... fuck ya, I kicked ass today (and maybe flex!)

We all know, I'm not into sales and if you've read the blogs at all, you know how I feel about what goes on, its not me - it's the energy of the group as a whole.
If you want in, definitely get in now because I'm still offering those 2 free sessions and the program.  The 2 free sessions alone are already at a discount.
Do you know how to squat?  Do you actually know the form on a lat pull?  Everyone pulls, but few feel the lats... think about it.
Do you know what weights you should be using? How much rest between sets?  How many sets?  How many times per week?  That's what the 2 bonus sessions are all about.
2, 1 on 1's  (usually $55 per)
12 boots    (drop ins are $10 per)
and a program  ($60 value)
all that for $110?


(As you read this, you may have been on the fence, maybe you're in, maybe you're unsure, maybe you're procrastinating.... Whatever you may have filled in, ask yourself why.  Whether I ever see you or not, as yourself why.  We all have moments of resistance, I certainly do.  When it pops up, I notice it and I ask "why?"  What makes us not do something?  I don't want to go on and on w this, like I said, I'm really not trying to oversell this. I want people in here who want it.  But if you're on the fence, dive in.  I've literally only had 2 people (out of hundreds) EVER walk away w regret and that was only because of ego.  No one says "this workout sucks," or anything like it.  Trust this is money well spent.  Dive in)

Generic Todd Field boot idea:
5-10 warm up

Phase 1
Walking steps and general body weight movements

Phase 2
Core and slightly more intensity on steps

Phase 3
Speed work

Phase 4
Core and dynamic movement


Wednesday, April 20, 2016


You freaking hippy pot heads!  Admit you clicked on this because of the title... go on...


Is it football season yet??
Actually it sort of is, the seasons never really end.  We go from actual game play, month away, to weight room sessions and meetings, to camps, to summer ball, to actual game play.  Definitely not a complaint.  Its only 4/20! and I'm wishing it was August.

But I had some thoughts/feelings that I thought I'd share. Football has taken an ass kicking recently, maybe a tad undeserving.
I'm referring to the concussion situation/scandal?/reports.  Obviously, my intent here is not to copy and paste the laundry list of issues concussions create.  Ok, maybe just a couple... hang on... googling...
  • Headache or a feeling of pressure in the head
  • Temporary loss of consciousness
  • Confusion or feeling as if in a fog
  • Amnesia surrounding the traumatic event
  • Dizziness or "seeing stars"
  • Ringing in the ears
  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Slurred speech
  • Delayed response to questions
  • Appearing dazed
  • Fatigue
Some symptoms of concussions may be immediate or delayed in onset by hours or days after injury, such as:
  • Concentration and memory complaints
  • Irritability and other personality changes
  • Sensitivity to light and noise
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Psychological adjustment problems and depression
  • Disorders of taste and smell
So that pretty much sounds like an issue.  And when an NFL Hall of Famer puts a gun to his own chest, pulls the trigger and writes something to effect of "please study my brain..."

Anyone who played when I played and before, pretty solid chance you have had multiple concussions.  Maybe weekly.  We used our helmets and heads as weapons.  I'm talking about high school now, so imagine a guy who plays pee wee, high school, college and pro.  Thats a lot of contact and trauma and over the years...

My stance on it:
A) I've encouraged football players to wrestle, play rugby and learn a martial art for years.  Not to toot my own horn, but I've been talking about rugby for literally 10+ years.  I said "How do we get guys to stop using their heads?  Take away the weapon."  Weapon being the helmet.   Get guys playing rugby, they learn to use their bodies.  This is also why I encouraged wrestling and martial arts.  Learn to use, control and master your own body.
B)  And finally an NFL coach says "Teach Rugby Tackling!" and creates a great youtube video to teach football coaches how to teach it on the field.  Thank you Pete Carroll.

I see guys make head to head contact and cringe.  If I had sons, I don't know what I'd do.
Or do I?
Because I do coach... wouldn't it be hypocritical if I coached a sport I wouldn't want loved one to play?  What would that say about how I feel about the guys I coach?

C) The juice is worth the squeeze.  A lot of people may disagree with that, but its true.
Thinking waaaaaaaaay back to the mid 90's, lessons were learned out there that weren't being taught anywhere else. Trust me, I tried to find that class again, its not available.  It only exists on the practice fields, in the locker rooms, weight rooms, and on Friday nights.
Coaches have the opportunity to teach life lessons in a way no teacher can.  It's just not the same subject.

Can other sports do it?  I dont know.  Wrestling, yes.  Baseball?  I dont think so.  I think there's something in me vs you, speed, strength, power, my body vs your body, my heart vs your heart, that's where the lessons are.  Who are you after getting your ass physically kicked?  Someone hits a grounder past you... eh.  Is it the same?  Not trying to dog baseball but I just don't see it the same.  Rugby, martial arts, absolutely.
(Knowing Todd reads this... Soccer?  Ehhhhh, its higher than baseball ha.  Inside joke.  At my old job we used to talk alot of shit and I'd rank sports and say things like "Baseball isnt a sport, its skill and hobby.")
Point is, at this age, the risk is worth the reward.
Example:  You might be coaching at a school.  One day a quiet, big guy comes in.  Shy, maybe a loner.  Super nice guy.  He wants to play, he wants on the team.  Another reason why football is best, there's a position for everyone.  Fast, slow, small, big, clumsy, skilled, there's something here for you.  But he main reason, this kid who may not have had a very memorable high school experience, just found x number of coaches who are there for him in nearly any way and x number of brothers on the team.  Nearly automatically.  Show up, bust your ass with your brothers and you will form a bond that you will remember and carry inside forever.

Last week, my brother and I were texting about football and such and reaching kids and how things have changed in 20-25 years.  I wrote a last line, then deleted it, didn't want to get all f'n nutty heading into work,  But it was about what I just wrote about the brotherhood and then the 6-15 fathers (coaching staff) who adopt you.

So why "the juice is worth the squeeze..." if I can create just 25% of the mindset and work ethic and passion and love, those coaches helped create in me, 21-23 years ago, these kids are going to have something to take with them.


Texting with a friend right now.  He's basically packing up all his shit and heading down to Fla with his wife.
He writes, "Funny thing is, neither of us have a job yet, but we're going anyway."
I replied "Man, that's freaking so kick ass.  Easy for me to say, but that's pretty exciting to just go down and wing it and know it'll work out."
Doesn't it always?  Cant you count on one hand the number of times it DIDN'T work out?  It always works out.  We get ourselves into shit and go "uh oh... this might be it," and it never is.  It might be "it," for a phase or a piece or some ego stuff, but we survive, we grow, we learn, we move, it works out, and we're better for it.


Everything's a big deal.
Too many people act like shits all cool and casual and it blows.  Its ok to make something a big deal.  It's ok to not be a bland old whatever and just blah your way through everything.  Babies are big deals, weddings are big deals, promotions are big deals, turning 18 is a big deal, first ______ is a big deal, everything is a big deal.
Stop under-celebrating.


Back to football, here's one of those lessons I refereed to above.
We were in the weight room and the guys are moving through their workload for the morning, 6am.
And this one group is on the 3rd of 4th section, performing x movement 6 times.  I see this kid do it... looked pretty easy.  I ask him "Was that hard?"  He says eh, ish.  I say "Hop back in there... as many as possible," and he gets the oh shit look.  He hops back and hits it (writing it to add the freakin) he hits it twenty-freaking-three times.
Now in my head is math, and not "well shit, he did 6 the first time and twenty freakin three the second.." No, math as in "Is he afraid of pain?  I dont think so.  Is he lazy?  No way.  Is he still sleeping?"
Still sleeping?  Sort of.
He doesn't know yet, how to crush himself in there.  He hasn't learned yet what weight room pain can do for you.  This was at 6:25.  By 7:00am he learned.  He became my private 1 on 1 and I took him through the zone, through the fire, thats how you learn.  It was punishment.  In no way did I do it to dog him out, act like  big man, and show grrr this how you train like a beast.  No.  I did it because he needed to learn intensity.
As young people, we all do.  That's the stuff I was talking about up top.  Your edge.  If you dont find your edge, challenge your edge, you never change.  If you do the same stuff everyday, what result will you get?  None, you'll never change.  You may even go backwards.

Think if you never read a book, listened to a podcast or heard lecture, how would you learn new information?
If you never ran hard, how would you improve your ability to run hard?
If you never push yourself, how do you know how to push yourself?
Day in, day out, you have to challenge and grow.  You have to.
When I lived in lake county, I loved hitting this hill/mudslide behind squires.  I would run it so hard, I had unlimited moments of "oh my god... i might actually die this time," and lungs just huuuuuuurt so bad, legs so numb and I'd just walk and recover... then i'd slow trot and recover... then back in my jog and gone again to the bottom.  I'd count for 60 seconds and do it again.  I'd finish and my brain would just be flushed with clarity.  Flushed with clarity.
Because I pushed to my edge, I created a new edge.  And then again and again, new edge.
Thats how we change and improve.  Push harder.  Do more.


How about this t shirt?

Fine.  One weed opinion.
If you don't know weed is a miracle drug w/ unlimited potential:
A) you work for a pharmaceutical company.
B) you never bothered to actually read.  Which means you're still regurgitating the same shit someone taught you 30 years ago.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Just write...

Just write.  When you're not feeling it, just write. 

Had a friend text, said they were/are interested in the boot but didn't want to be a "beginner," again or now, or in general.  
And on Saturday, someone at yoga said "I'll be a beginner again."

That ... I don't know what to call it... That ego part of me that makes me want to call it "the dickhead Buddhist shit," who always has that dumbass line of response they read in some uppity self help book along the way.   It would go "you're not new at this, are you?" And  The Dickhead Buddhist Shit says "oh, we're all new at this, every day we're new again... Ohm," and then id want to punch myself in the face. 

But it's true.  
I'll be at a concert next Sunday night, and it'll be a totally new thing for me. 
I'll go to work tomorrow and as much routine is there, there's 5x more unpredictability and it'll be new.
And we'll have a conversation that makes us see something differently... And it changes you and now you're a new version of yourself, so everything's new. 
Or you get some news, that he or she isn't here anymore and you're whole fucking world just changed and rocked you... And now you're another new version, your chemistry is now different, and everything's new. 
You're a beginner again.  
You think you know, you think your ground is stable, but it isn't at all. 
It's all fragile, it all breaks, nothing and no one is built to last forever.  
And when that's accepted, the absolute root of Buddhism, pain is inevitable, is accepted, everything is new.  Everyone is a beginner and none of us are pros. 
So fall down.  Breathe hard.  Fail.  Hurt. And laugh because it'll happen again and again.  I remember I went stand up boarding (whatever you call it) and I loved sucking at it.  I tried to get it and focused and all that and I laughed every time I fell. 

  You have to smile at the pain and failures.   You have to see it all w fresh eyes and enjoy it all like its new, unique and "once in a lifetime," because it very well could be.  

Ironically, i do not recommend Buddhism.  It'll ruin how you enjoy things. 

Sunday, March 13, 2016

McGregor v Diaz; Our Own Skill Set; and Why I Don't Vote

I only feel the need to comment on the fight because so many others on my feed did, nearly all completely inaccurate.
If you don't follow fighting, you may still find this interesting on a competitive level.  Also if you don't follow fighting, your nuts.
Last Saturday, Conor McGregor (145er fighting at 170lbs) was choked out by Nate Diaz (Vegan-ish) in the 2nd round of a UFC fight.
Nor the weight referenced or the vegan lifestyle had anything to do with it.  Yes, Conor was 25lbs heavier than usual, and it mattered only in 1 regard (and remember, Conor might weigh in at the usual 145 but he and others can get to 160+ within 24 hours of that weigh in).
Conor threw a BUNCH of huge shots that missed or barely connected.  Because of that he gassed, not because he was heavier, but because he threw more punches than previously and completely underestimated Nate Diaz.  Conor underestimated Nates reach and his skills.  No excuses for the weight jump, many of them have the ability and knowledge to bounce around with a few classes.  He's a phenomenal athlete who knows how to use his body, and has the top trainers and nutritionists in the business, he lost because Nate is better.


In the past, on the blog and in real life, to myself and others, I've been hard and judgmental.
Something hit me recently...  Where before, I saw people as "underachievers," or just doing enough to get by, I saw it the exact opposite.  I sat in a place and watched and thought "Everyone is doing the best they can."
Life gets hard, right?  Days and weeks zip past real fast.  Boom, boom, boom and we're nearly into spring and summer and it'll fly by and it's 2017 already.  So life can zap you threw a time warp sometimes.  My kids are 11 and 9 and they say things to me that make me think "weren't you just 5 and 3 a couple weeks ago?  Now you're mini adults."  So you see time ripping past you and you start to see the picture of life you've created (creating).
And we can be judgy assholes, to ourselves and others, or we can go holy shit, I'm creating something pretty awesome here, and that awesome thing is our picture, our story, our life.
Obviously, the flip side is I CAN DO MORE grrr, but we dont have to flip the coin.  We can keep it on this side and stay with:
She's doing the best she can...
He's helping as much as he can...
They're performing as well as they can...
They're making the most out what they have...
They're trying their best.

They're managing with their skill set.
We are not all created equal.  Genetics play an enormous role.  So does environment, role models, life experiences, opportunities, etc.   Some people are great at x, others at y.  And as we can use the x and y variable, put that into a real life structure or a family structure.
Point is, life is a bitch.  Some people are resilient and can grind and battle through tough shit, some people cant.  It doesn't make one better than another, it makes them different.  The resilient warrior through life might be a tough SOB but they might not know how to handle some basic things in life and thats where person z is needed.  And person z might suck at a particular skill and need person g, and on and on we go.

I think it comes down to acceptance.
And being more mindful to not be a judgy douche.
To ourselves included.


Almost time to vote, yippedy yah!  We're all going to post who our President will be and hate on anyone else!!!
Two things to know:
A) Hillary Clinton is a lying criminal.
B) Donald Trump is just a complete bullshit artist.

 My analogy is this:  Browns suck, clearly.  But as long as the stadium is sold out, do you really think Haslem gives a shit?  Nope, money is money.  But imagine if season ticket sales went down the tubes and people stopped tailgating.
Then they'd notice and have to change.

What if we boycotted the election?
What if no one showed up to vote for these clowns?

Look at our choices.  Is this really the best of the best?  Is this really who we feel is going to improve our country?
I dont need to echo all the radio commercials, just step back and look objectively.  These people are completely out of touch, this is an ego stroke for them and they're all nuts.

Imagine you're in some rebel group off in bfe and you're sitting in a hut, polishing a rocket and on comes the news... DONALD TRUMP IS ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!  Well, that just solidified our plans for the next 4 years, no?

I'm not going to movies because there's nothing good to see or pay for just as I definitely am not voting this year because there is no one to vote for.  Show some actual candidates that represent the better aspects of our society and I'll vote one day.  We have these disgusting career politicians who make money... doing what?  What skill do they bring?   What experiences have they had to make them OUR GUY/GIRL.  Right?  We say "Thats my guy!" and "That's my girl!"
These are neither.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Summer BootCamp 2016 (random thoughts)

Just a few random thoughts heading into March...

I sort of used our governments electoral college procedure in determining where and when these sessions will take place.  27 people voted and this is how I came up with some thoughts to help me shape the summer.
Also, see the pic below...
...its blurry but see where Texas is "worth," 38 and Rhode Island is "worth," 4?  Well let say you're a former attendee who hit 85-100% of classes... you are Texas.  On the flip side, let's say you text me for free workout ideas but never actually show up, or maybe you text again 3 months later asking me the same questions but never even join a gym, I'm sorry, but you are Rhode Island.  Your vote counted but Texas carries more weight.  I think that's fair.
Reason being, 27 people voted.  Will 27 people show up?  I wouldn't bet on it.  So I had to slant this towards the odds.

​a)  I'm leaning towards just one day per week, maybe sprinkle a Saturday or early am holiday session if requested.  In the past, people have liked a 4th of July session so I'm down for that if you want it.  As for why one day, historically we've always hit it hard on a Monday or Tuesday and it trickled away as Wednesday and Thursday came around.  Maybe after the weekend, we feel organized and the week hasn't started kicking our ass yet and by Thursday we're like "F this, wheres Friday?  I'm going home."  But all up for debate.

b) Monday or Tuesday?
Both recvd about the same votes so if someone is a definite NO for one of those days, let me know real soon.  Once the calendar is made, that's it.  Between football camps and my 1 on 1's, this schedule really cant be adjusted as of mid-April.

c) This is my cool "are you thinking too much?" thought that I really like.
I want to start mid-May, probably the 9th or 10th, and run 10-14 classes taking us til August (no classes in August because of summer football).
So lets say we have 14 classes, $10 for drop ins.
Cool part... 12 classes AND only $100 if paid in advance. ALSO IF PAID IN ADVANCE, I'll give you a voucher/credit/whatever for 2 complimentary personal training sessions.  Make sense?
12 classes  +  2 PT sessions  = $100
That means your paying about $8 per boot plus the bonus sessions...
OR it actually means you get 12 freaking free bootcamps for buying two pt sessions... wtf, I might want to rethink that!
Oh well, I wrote it now and literally too lazy to go back, delete and rethink any math.
It'll be the boot classes and 2 sessions for $100 or $10 drop ins, pay as you go.

c)  Locations will range between parks off of 91 in Willoughby, downtown Willoughby, Mentor and a park on RT 6 in Chesterland.   Some of you need to broaden your horizons and see some new views!
btw, the beach recvd really shitty reviews, I never knew!  I thought you guys loved the beach but maybe 3 people voted for it.
Todd Field was far and away the #1 spot voted for... you people are crazy.

d) Count on some new things, for sure.  I was recently in a football clinic and sat in on some strength & conditioning sessions and it really reminded me of year 1, probably 7-8 years ago and how I ran those.  Over the past 2-4 years I got a little too cute with things, concerned with building sand bags and TRX sets, and I still will but this year will definitely be different.  No doubt.
You'll need running shoes but shoes you dont mind getting dirty.  There will be a day or two where we just find a trail, hit it, find an open spot, train and run back.  Some sessions will be planned, some won't and we won't know which was which.  My goal is to help you train your body to reach x goal(s) and that you leave every session with an incredible high

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Ever see a ufo?

Ever meet a guy that thinks humans are aliens?
Ever meet a guy that swears he's seen a ufo?
He may start to tell you his story and you can really see it in his eyes, he believes it. 
And you may say "hey man, you're full of shit, right?"
And he'll say "I was there, I know what I saw."


A lot of conversations have flown my way in regards to a studio and yoga.  I'll be honest, it's made me daydream a little. 
Haven't let myself do that in a little while.  
I started hearing playlists again. Started seeing flows in my head.  Even in a kettle class recently, something happened and we transitioned into a yoga flow. 
But w yoga, I always wonder things. 
I wonder if my clients can tell (or know) how much yoga is layered in...
And I wonder what that means or who else knows "yoga layered in..." The text-book yogi would babble "there's yoga in everything."  Hey yogi, you just lost half the audience, ssshhh. 
(This ones already loaded w irony)
I always want to tell a story about a "class I ran."  But the memorable classes, I didn't run.  We showed up, the music hit, my energy went like this, your energy went like that, and it combined to be something of memory.   Those light, the heat, the small room, it was just intense.  That scenario, I knew 100% what could happen w the right music.
Text-book yogi will babble "music is a crutch."  I would respond "You are boring."  Music is an ally.  It can be a reminder.  It can be a friend or a teacher. It can be relative or a partner.  Some of my favorite moments in life, I compare to guitar solos.  There were so many classes where id create a playlist on Sunday night, then 30 minutes before class, a few people wander in and I'd go "new playlist," scramble into the lobby and fiddle w my little iPod thing, walk in right at the start, "high plank," and hit play.... And we're off and flying.  
I want to say "my yoga was _____," or something like that, but that's tough. Even in personal training, it's not me, it's the energy of the combination.  
Here's something I'll admit: that playlist I mentioned.  The day or two after, I'd run a class in another facility and use the list and try to duplicate class... Never worked.   Not once.  The same flow never came out.  Same music, same me, but things happened and it went somewhere else.  The energy didn't mix the same, it can't.  
Genuine cannot be recreated.  
Live guitar solos.  I have probably 30+ versions of live recordings of Even Flow by Pearl Jam.  An average fan or just a guy would go "the guitar solo," and think it's just Even Flow.  But every single solo is different.  It might start the same, might end the same or similar, but none are the same.  Same guy, same song, different version.  (Another scary thing to admit: you could play a few seconds of one and I'd know "oooooh, Seattle 2013.")

High plank.... And breathe... Hands right under your shoulders... A little movement in your toes.  Maybe rotate your head, neck around a bit, and just get comfy in this. ... .... .... Right hand is going to stretch straight ahead, stretch out and reach for the person in front you.... Left foot, just raise it up 2 inches, just 2... And get comfy in this.... Just breathe.  
Slowly, carefully, set them back down... Bend those elbows just an inch... Now another... And one more... And slowly drop to the ground. 
(It's Kanyes "runaway," instrumental.  I remember the first time I used it, near the end of class, someone whispered "I fucking love your playlists..." That was pretty much the best thing I could've heard).  
Just for shits n giggles, hit the link and give it 30 seconds, just to try to feel the 88 degrees of the room. 

So thumbs under your arm pits... Toes into the mat... Bring your thighs and hips up just an inch, just off the mat, stick your butt up... Now press through your palms, high plank.

I need a room, private and intimate.  Low lighting, high heat, big speakers and the energy. 

Friday, February 19, 2016

Not For You

  (Because I say FUCK a lot when I talk and I don't give a shit to sensor this one).


I met a girl about a year ago.  Pretty, smart, athletic, goal driven, etc.  This is the kind of person you meet and get to know and see she has options, she's on a path, for whatever that may mean.
She's been brought along to think the dots go 1-2-3-4 and so on.  So when the dots are misaligned, in her head, she... malfunctions.  A lot of people do.  Early in life, even later, if you don't have the skills to roll with the punches, you're in trouble.    Life changes, atmospheres change, people change, if you can't change, you'll struggle to get your footing.

"Hey asshole! Don't write about me!"
Trust me, there are 80+ people that'll read this and think it's about them or someone they know... Because it is.  Because this topic is so fucking broad and has touched multiple people you know.
So let's keep it vague and say "things changed."
When the change occurred, depression settled in.  That's what happens when the floor you were standing on falls away and you have no clue how to stop the drop.   Then you hit the floor in a new space you didn't think you'd be in or never knew existed, a new reality, and you're alone.  "What?  This isn't how they told it was going to go... Where am I?"
Then the good shit... You go to mommy. "Mommy, what do I do?"
Mommy says "welp, you're depressed and sad now, we better go see a doctor, because I see a fucking doctor for everything in my life and everyone knows doctors know everything and only look out for OOOUUUR best interest, not their wallets." 
So off they go, headed to a doctor.  
"Doctor, I'm sad."
Doctor says, "well shit! I have just what you need, here take this pill!  And if this pill doesn't work, come back and I'll give you a new pill.  And if this pill doesn't work, come back and I'll give you a new pill.  And if that pill doesn't work, come back and I'll give you a new pill!  Because fuck it! I'm guessing anyway muwahahaha"

Never mind the actual WHY.  The doc may or may not ask "what happened?" or "why are you sad?" and even if they do, well there's a fucking script headed your way anyway (newsflash, they make money off of selling prescriptions).

So you go home and start your script.
You may feel better, maybe not.  
You might feel better because the drugs drip a lil dopamine in that wild brain and you go oooooh that's the shit... Ahhh.

Or you may still feel foggy.  "Um I'm taking these pills but still unhappy."

Scenario A highlights you like getting high.
Scenario B says "hey dumbass, pills won't make you happy."

Now, if you're sitting there bitching about the bald know it all douche bag that typed this, you should know, I was that scenario.  I was the guy that went way fucking darker than you'll know.  So I have rights to talk this shit. I wasn't the light and fluffy "everythings going to be ok," optimist.  I was the "umm this entire place sucks and I'm getting the fuck out of here, soon."

So I went to the doc.  Barely had to say anything.  Truth, my goal was just to get anything.  "I may talk myself into some testosterone treatments if I play it right," but left w some anti-anxiety shit, no clue what it was.  I took them because I just wanted to feel different.  Feel something different. 
But I felt zero.  I went back.  He wrote another.  
But I felt zero. 
Then I let logic settle in.  This pill isn't going to make me love my day.  This pill isn't going to make me dread going to work (understand, this wasn't very recent).  This pill isn't going to make me laugh or smile, it's not going to make me see things differently. 

I thought things like:
Something missing 
I'm alone 
I don't belong here 
I don't like it here
On and on... 

So I had options.  Cash in and go, or add the ingredient into my life to make it more tasty. 
Here's my chubby analogy - think of a stew.  Do you make it as bland and boring as possible?  Or do you look to spice that shit up?!  Add a bunch of veggies and things that are good for you? Is it energizing?  Is it filling?? Do you want to share it w friends?  
You better.
You better make your life the stew you want to share w everyone you walk passed. 

Now, when you're down, you don't want to hear of this shit.  Everything a fog and your vision is very limited.  
Take the time to think.  Think about your life and the ingredients you need to add to it, to make it full.  To make it tasty.  Spices. And eat it up.  

Don't like your atmosphere? Move.
Don't like your job?  Get a new one.
Don't like your friends? Stop hanging out.
Why eat things that crush your energy?
Why do things that don't feed your soul?
Why hurt yourself? 

You are not a victim.  
You are in complete control of your life.  

Want an antidepressant?  Go take a yoga class.
Want an antianxiety?  Go for a run.
Want to be a bad mf'er and crush a shitload goals?  Make it happen.  
Put the phone down and get your ass going.