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Sunday, June 28, 2015

you clicked it...

...so you really can only be mad at yourself.

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Reality for some...
Its kinda like those old television sets you see in the movies... the two knobs with about 12 different setting to dial in on and the bunny ears on top.  You think it's a poor reception so you adjust it and slap the side, turning the knobs furiously... "uh... uh... its almost there... I got it!... dammit!"  just snow, and you might be able to catch every 3rd phrase... again, you think its a bad reception.


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So uh, we've had some news lately, eh?  Just when the old farts wrapped their under-developed brains around Caitlyn Jenner...
A white woman faked being black and was in charge of the NAACP?  wha-wha-what?   "I identify as black."  This comment is just too much for me to wrap my brain around.  Is it possible?  I mean, if she really feels that way, then yes, it is reality.  Can we judge what race or sexuality or anything anyone "identifies," with?  Are we closing in on a weird line?
Coming from a guy who admittedly "identifies himself as an alien?"
Then puts his own words in quotes?
Reality is too entertaining for reality.

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How about a scary story wrapped in a story about triumph of good and love over evil?
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that same sex couple can marry in all 50 states.  Why this took so long to happen is absolutely mind blowing.  Oh ya, that whole "God said," stuff.  But besides that, since we are evolved enough to make good decisions, why did this take so long?  I'd imagine there was some financial advantage to keeping it illegal so why now?

Never mind... I don't care why or pretend to know the answers as to what the hold up was, I'm just extremely happy for everyone.  For some reason, I've always had an anti-bully, anti-douche bag, anti-asshole, anti-control freak program locked into my brain, so knowing this was illegal along with all the other shit that gays and minorities have dealt with far too long, really bothered and confused me.  Man-man, woman-woman, completely irrelevant to me.  People are people, love is love and there should be no law governing who can legally marry.

But then I scanned one of my social media feeds... and saw them.  Those disgusting, vial pigs, the cancer cells of our society.  Yes, the close minded, conservative, control freaks... and yes, in my feed 100% were old white men.
I know this because they posted "I'm white, straight and proud."  Thank "God," they posted this or I wouldn't have known from their profile pic of the them sitting in their Ford pick up drinking a Natty Light, flexing their 9" bicep with a mini confederate flag tattoo.  Were we supposed to be celebrating them again?  Were they upset they weren't at the parade?  I'm sure they would've been invited if they weren't such party poopers.
Maybe they have some deep hatred towards everything they're not, because they wish they were so much more than they are.

But then the fear settled in... I have two daughters.  What if they some day encounter these beasts along their path?  Knowing kids are born into a world where we have zombie-like hate creatures disguised as humans is terrifying!  On a level, we can teach kids to protect their brains from their close minded thinking.  But on the flip side, the beasts continue to breed... shit.  What a dilemma.  Can good and love continue to make strides fwd while leaving the Calvin pissing on Chevy bumper stickers behind?
The pessimist in me sees a beautiful painting coming together... then a bratty South Carolina kindergarten class comes along, trying to smear it with their muddin' fingers.  Until someone starts slapping these "youngsters," hands and putting them in time-out, I don't see it ending.
pst, that was a metaphor, i don't actually believe in physical behavior vs children.  But vs racist, homophobic, sexist, bigots?  I'm all for that.  
i can understand it you were raised a little backwards, that wouldn't be your fault.  But if you're an "adult," and haven't gotten your shit together with your prejudices and poor thinking, I really don't see what positive element you could possibly contribute to our society.
And if you're not here to contribute, why are you hear? 

Coincidentally, I wore this shirt to school in 1995.  I remember a teacher I looked up to looking at me disgusted and asked "Why would you wear that?"  At the time, I laughed him off, but from then on I knew who he was.  

This was the same teacher who told the class "Tattoos are a strong sign of lower class."
In his 50's, he still had plenty of growing up to do.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Hunter

In honor of Hunters birthday, 6/18, how about a few quotes...

























Wednesday, June 17, 2015

LeBron vs MJ and the NBA

Scroll through social media and you'll find countless articles and video footage breaking down the NBA Finals.
Then you'll find twice as many links and articles breaking down who is the greatest of all time, MJ or LeBron.
Stats vs stats, pretty clear LeBron wins and will always win this area.
MJ lovers will fire back with "6-0 in the finals!!" and it's unclear if LeBron will ever beat that.
But neither of those categories mean who is or will be the greatest.

In my opinion, to find the "X" factor in this debate, which will live for many years to come, you should read David Halberstam's "Playing for Keeps: Michael Jordan and the World He Made."

After MJ won his 3rd consecutive title, he was asked where this ranks him among the all time greats.  He answered "Every era is different, so that's an unfair comparable, but I do think these championships put us as a team right up there."
Break that down for a second and know that he did eventually go on to modestly compare himself to Bird and Magic but his initial response was the cream... "us as a team."
And i dont highlight that because of what LeBron recently said, something like "Im confident because Im the greatest player in the world," but because of the team MJ made.
I love Phil Jackson, probably the greatest coach ever, but MJ made that team and the NBA of the 90's.  How?
Like Steve Jobs and other mad geniuses, they're obsessed.  Obsessed to the point where nothing else matters but that one goal and they will do absolutely anything and everything to make that goal happen.
MJ would bully teammates, he would taunt the front office, and he would relentlessly trash talk opponents.  At one point, it was written that he was the most disliked player in the league.
He made Scottie Pippen become who he became, because he demanded it of him.  He saw Scottie could be his counterpart but he needed to toughen him up and help him find an identity.
Steve Kerr once set a screen on MJ at practice, MJ ran through it, knocked Kerr down and Kerr got up swinging, both players exchanged punches and practice was called.  MJ throwing punches with teammates was not an uncommon moment.  Often it was a reaction to his taunting, tough love at its "finest."
When the Pistons were ruling the NBA in the late 80's, MJ threatened Horace Grant to "grow balls or don't get off the bus," prior to a matchup in the 1990 season.
In 1992, Clyde Drexler was compared to MJ as his west coast rival and took 2nd in MVP voting then faced the Bulls in the finals, which the Bulls won.  A month later during the 1992 Dream Team practices, he was trash talking Clyde Drexler so bad, Clyde came out for practice one day with his shoes on the wrong feet and Clyde nearly quit.  What was MJ's aim?  To crush Clyde and the Trailblazers, not the Dream Team.  Come 1993, he wanted to already have the Blazers defeated.  And this is the great difference between MJ and LeBron and the NBA in general and its rubbed off on todays youth.

I doubt another team will ever beat the Bulls win record they set in 1996.  Players and teams coast now, they think they can flip switches and just turn on "winning," when they need to.... wrong.  MJ and the Bulls wanted to beat you so bad, every time, it stayed in your head for the next game.  MJ wanted to completely demoralize you.  All the greats did.  Bird used to keep stats during games and rattle off numbers to his match up as they came up the floor, talking non stop, "16-2, me," or "that was you 3rd turnover, coach is going to the bench soon."  Magic was the same way, even Shaq and Kobe.  They made it personal.
LeBron, hopefully this loss hurt him.  All those years losing to the Pistons made MJ the bastard he was, that he needed to be.  The NBA didn't used to be this friendly hip-hop club.  I cant remember the last time i saw an NBA fight, it used to happen weekly.  Do we need them?  I almost wrote "no," but yes we do.  With intensity that high and guys going that hard, we need scrappers to crank things up a notch.  In my opinion, the Bad Boys of the late 80's are the second best team of all time.  The Bulls teams of the 90's and the Pistons of the 80's would demolish the league now.  Even the Starks-Ewing-Oakley-Riley Knicks would win the championship.  The league just isn't tough anymore.  It's soft, its 3's, its high fiving your opponent and helping them up off the floor.

LeBron is the most talented player to ever play.  He has all the skills of Magic and MJ in a body we've never seen in the NBA.  Big, fast, athletic, durable.  Is he MJ?  Not as of now.  We need this loss to sting.  We need the criticism to bother him and motivate him.
When people are handing you gifts from 16 years old on... I dont see it happening.
I'm not a hater, I think he's unreal, but as MJ said in 1993, different players of different eras cant be compared fairly.  If MJ grew up in the Twitter age, he may have been a different guy too.

To sum it up, LeBron is too nice and MJ will fight you over a game of tic tac toe if you beat him.
(I actually do think I read he fought someone over a card game)

5 players I wish we could recreate for todays game:
Ron Artest
Patrick Ewing
Charles Barkely
Gary Payton
Dennis Rodman
honorable mention:  Agent 0, Gilbert Arenas

5 coaches I wish the Cavs could pull but cant because they're all too old or dead:
Pat Riley
Don Nelson
Greg Popovich
Larry Brown
Phil Jackson

Todays NBA is just like everything else.  Watered down and Disney.  It's all about selling commercials and jerseys.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Let it be... random


"If 1000 things are on your mind, write about 1000 things.

Someone asked for a program, I gave it.  i wrote it out and sent it away.  Then I tried to write how to actually do it and this was a sticking point.  Too much of it is mental.  I can write it all day, but if you dont know how to feel it, how to fight through the tough spots, it'll be very average.  
Theres no magic in my programming, just science and intensity.

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I still look around gyms and cringe at the form I see... crazy squats with knees all over the place.  Just ask for some help with form.

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My own progress... well, I wound up stumbling upon a different map along my path to the goal I set out in January.  I did not reach my 50lb loss, yet.  Only about 23/24.  Mainly because my goal changed in the middle of the plan, and it changed for a very good reason.  When I set out in Jan, because of back and foot issues, I knew my cardio needed to be smart and my diet with little room for error.  But then I met Audrey and she offered up a little barter deal, which landed me on her massage table.  Prior to this event, you couldve seen me wincing in pain to pic things up off the floor let alone squatting w a bar on my back or dead lifting.  After this one session, nearly zero pain with movement.  So I hit the squat rack to see what would happen.  What happened was a new program and new goals.  For the first time in years, probably 10+, my squat is heavier than my bench and my bench doesnt suck.  My squat was embarassing, if you cared what people squat, 225 was about it and right around 8 reps, where my bench was 225 for mid-high 20's.  Within 8 weeks, the squat is in the mid-upper 300's and able to touch 3-5 reps with pretty decent depth.  My butt isnt going below my knees, but right around or just a tad above. 
Kelly Starrets distraction stretches are very helpful as well.  It usually takes me about 20-30 minutes to warm everything up enough to the point where I feel confident getting after it.  Regardless, I'm able to lift heavy again, and this is what I enjoy doing.  So my goal changed a little.  I'll still lose the next 25 but not inthe time frame, I dont think I could now.  the weight loss has slowed dramatically with the new weight program.  I've stopped full body circuits and replaced them w 2 different leg days and two upper body days, and none of it is based on the day of the week but a rotation of 4 days.  So hitting squats twice in one week can happen, which is fine.  Thats become my new obsession.   I badly want to see 4 plates on each side of the bar.

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I recommend massages w Audrey, acupuncture w Jared and yoga by yourself.

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I'm still amazed by the human ego... why it exists or why people ignore it, are ruled by it, and let it hurt.  I see people, I watch their behavior, listen to their rumors... and i start day dreaming about the things that can help to stop looking at life the way they do.  Too much pain.  Not enough help.  People are busy and walk around staring at their phones or worrying about their life.  People think things are great now, but they're not.  Our lives are too fast.  The way we live them.  Job to job, fast food lives, running around with wild schedules, living above our means, with very little "you," time to actually stop and notice change.  
That was one thing I found in yoga... I used to snag a very particular spot.  Where very few people would pass me and I was near an exit so I could leave quickly.  But in this spot, was a view of a tree.  in the tree, I'd find an odd ball branch and the furthest leaf.  Over time, that became my focus point.  As seasons would change, the leaves changing colors and then dropping off, then coming back, it remained my focus point.  Stability in change.  
The recommendations I listed above, can help you.  Why did I list those?
They all have something in common.... I think it can help you get in touch with your body, to remind you to take care of yourself, to remind you how fragile it all is.  That we are all just organisms that will eventually die just like the plants in your garden.  Our bodies will expire. 

I wrote yoga alone because I think yoga in this area and probably throughout the US, has been kidnapped by businesses, stay at home moms, and trendy wannabes.  The value has been watered down.
"Hey, dont be a judgey dick!"
I'm not Buddha.  
If there is someone running a free or "donation," session on the beach or in a park, yes.  Studios w a woman who can't relate to 80% of the people in class? No.
They said "it's ok to make a living."
Not off this.

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I don't care much about Caitlyn Jenner's decision, but she doesn't deserve the Arthur Ashe award.  I personally know 20+ people that show more courage on a daily basis with their career choice than her.  I have friends that are police and fire.  they literally risk their lives on every single call, every car that's pulled over, every crime they investigate, every home they enter, some dangerous could happen.  We take that courage for granted.  A 65 yr old, multi-millionaire transitioning from male to female to hide away in his mansion for the last decade or so of his life.... courageous?  ok.  Comparable to what I listed above?  No.  Compared to past winners?  No chance.  Google Jim Valvano, Loretta Claiborne, Dewey Bozella, Muhammad Ali, Billie Jean King, Pat Tillman, and Nelson Mandela.  Stop right there... Nelson Mandela and Caitlyn Jenner now have something in common.
Is this real life?  

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Speaking of real life...
Did you know there's more African Americans in jail right now for non-violent crimes than there were slaves?
"Non-violent crimes? So they're drug dealers!"
And first time offenders.
Of selling a "drug," that's been legalized in... how many states now?  And on Ohio's ballot this fall.  Pay attention to what you're voting for. 
Want to see better schools?
Want to see lower taxes?
Want to actually see a government with a gram of common sense?

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Be nice.  Some times people make it hard.  Be nice anyway.
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I heard someone reference "internal inventory," and on my 50 minute drive to work, made me think...
And then in the float tank, it made me day dream...
Internal inventory... what we have inside.  Made me think of ourselves like a video game avatar.  
"Oooh, my intelligence is only a 63, my looks are a 42, but my bald head is an 88.  how can I drive up some ratings?  A couple tattoos?  Ok... damn, only a 46 and lost 500 credits!  bad idea there..."
Actually alot more than 500 credits over the years :)

I do think this little exercise has some value.  To objectively look at certain aspects of who we are (tricky question in itself), and analyze and maybe think about improvements.  Doesn't even have to be a paper goal like "get a degree, because then I'll be smarter!" but something like "be nicer to people."
Ever play the Sims?  And in the game, you could compliment someone and you'd see their mood rise and your relationship would boost.  Is there something wrong with using the same thought in real life?

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And now... pictures I like....

Zeus


EW!  I just like the character, ok?
Catching some wind

Mean muggin, ready for football season

Could it be a baby pic?
And my funny mom added the caption on it?

the day Abby insisted her face wash was in this section (notice the section?)


But she redeemed herself winning the Presidential Award at school

Zeus is also a Fallon fan (and doesn't like people on their phones during TV time)

Brave kids



Went back up for the first time in a while... Never wrote about it.  Still cant.
I lost something a few years ago...  Not sure what it was or where to find it.
Here?  I only saw skeletons.  Every block I walked was a reminder of what once was.
Every block was a reminder of the man that built an entire city and college.
And I don't think that's an exaggeration.  Would Penn State have been?  Sure.
What it have become what it was?  Not a chance.
"Eh, you're an obsessed fan, wtf do you know?"
2 things.
#1, I studied the man, read every book and article I could ever find.  I watched his walk, how and why he cuffed his pants.  Why the shoes.  Why the "no beard," policy.  Watched every piece of film I ever could.  I was always so scared I 'd find the flaw, but I never did.  So scared they'd eventually go down for cheating on test scores or steroids or covering up a crime, but he never did.  People thought his simplicity was BS but it never was.  I tried to watch a documentary on NetFlix recently but couldn't get past the first 60 seconds because there he was, talking about how nice it is to see people getting together for a football game.  Just a game.  If you studied him, you'd see, he never knew what he actually was.  He thought he was just a guy, just a dad and husband, just a coach and he never saw what we saw.
Win or lose, he never let me down.
Even when I thought he was guilty, something deep inside told me, "No way. Not Joe. He cant."
And in reading since more of the story has come to light, his innocence has been proven.

The second thing I know... every time you make a dumb joke, I'm daydreaming about hurting you :)
Screen saver



Monday, April 27, 2015

Oh, the things I hear...

Q: "Look, what are we doing??  Is this going to make me a body builder?  Am I going to get BIG??"

A: Meeting a trainer once or twice per week isn't going to make you BIG, nor is a well planned program (program means nutrition as well as all elements of training appropriate for your goals). To get BIG, you need to lift in a very specific set/rep scheme for MONTHS while increasing calories.


Q: "So protein wont make me BIG and bulky?"

A: No.  Only a designed program with you following it will make you big and bulky.  Generically, failing in your sets between 8-12 reps is the sweet spot and like I said above, months on end of this scheme plus taking in an extra 500 calories (ish) of clean nutrients than your body/metabolism is already accustomed to.
The function of proteins is to help the body build an repair, not only your muscles but your hair, skin and internal organs.  Proteins are the building block for our entire body and is needed to help keep the body functioning at an optimum level.  I share this fact because too many people associate protein with the "BIG and BULKY," feeling.
It's science and facts, not opinions and feelings.  


Q: "But I work out, like, a lot, why do I look the same?"
A: Let me see your program.
Q: "I don't have it written down."
A: Then how do you know what you're doing?
Q: "Well I use this machine, then I walk for bit, then I use that machine thingy over there...

A: Anyone can buy a membership, walk in and "work out."  If you're actually trying to make changes and see real results in mirror, you need to take it more seriously.  We don't say "well... I kinda drove to work..., I pulled out, then I bumped into this, then took a random left turn, then I turned around and pulled over for a bit..." No.  We know where we're driving, so we know which streets to take to get there.  We have a plan.  And even then, sometimes to the plans need to change just as our drive to work might, but remember, just because the plan has to change, doesn't mean the goal does.
I recommend researching personal trainers in your area and purchasing a few sessions to learn a routine, learn how to use the equipment properly and figure out a plan/program.


Q: "Ya Bro, my fricking knees are killing me when I squat, whats up with that?"
A: Let's see your form.
He drops his hips, knees poke out way over his toes, his heels come off the ground, one knee is tweaking out to the side,  and he's pretty much bending over.
This didn't actually happen, but I see it CONSTANTLY.  I even have a friend that works in an NCAA D1 program and he still tells me how many freshman come in with no clue how to squat (good job HS coaches).
Without going into a 5 paragraph "how to," here's an easy test.  Walk up to a wall and place your toes about 1/2 inch away from the wall.  Now squat without touching the wall.


Speaking with a local wrestling coach
Q: Yoga?  Yeah we did that when we were younger but called it stretching."
A:  Never mind the money... I'll come in for free.  Here's the bet:  No tricks, no gimmicky crap, I bet you more of your guys quit and flop during yoga than they do during your conditioning.
Never heard back from him.
If you say "Yoga's not for me," I'd say you probably don't know what yoga is.  If you've never taken a class, you're probably intimidated or worried about "not looking cool."  If you have and still say that, I'd bet you were just in the wrong studio, wrong instructor or the wrong you showed up.  Even for you tough guys, a decent yoga class can show you many muscular imbalances that can greatly improve your training in the weight room, while improving your flexibility, concentration and overall body strength in many stabilizing muscles you may not be addressing otherwise.

(If I can get 10 power-lifters to join, I'll run a month of free sessions, around your current schedule, for a case study).  

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Devastating Family Home Fire Fund

Very little need for my set up... My opinion is this - We can donate our funds to a corporate charity where we have no clue where that money ends up and probably no actual connection to the recipients OR we can read a story like this and choose to donate a few extra dollars this month to real people that you may actually know, thatI know. 
A lot of these accounts are trying to hook someone up with start up money for a business or wedding money or something simple... this one is not that.

Please read Marty's story and lend a hand.

"My name is Marty Kobsik,  and this is my family's story and struggle against mental illness and corporate america.
My mother suffers from Mental illness.   She has suffered most of her life from manic depression and bi-polarism.   Seven and a half years ago my mother had a mental breakdown  and took 5 gallons of gasoline to my father's recliner and my sister's bed and set fire to our family home.  She walked out and sat in a lawn chair in the front yard and watched the house burn while attempting to take her life by over dosing on the cocktail of medications she was on for various health issues.  The fire actually saved her life because help showed up and found her and rushed her to the hospital.   We live out in the country and had 13 different small volunteer fire departements come to attempt to save our 150 year old farm house.  3 hours later they put the fire out but the house was a complete loss.  My parents insurance company declined to pay the insurance claim due to the fact that my mother was a named insured and it was arson.  My father contacted a law firm from Pittsburgh that was referred to us from a family friend and they got our hopes up that we had a great chance of winning a law suit.   We all got our hopes up even more when we had a judge agree that the insurance company should pay due to the fact that there was nothing in the insurance policy regarding mental state and that the insurance company should pay.  My father cashed out his retirement account and  paid every dime of it to this law firm to fight the insurance company, but insurance company having deeper pockets drug outthe suit to the point where he ran out of money and could not afford to fight them anymore after living in limbo for 3 years he had to throw the towel in.  My father is 68 now  and still working since he spent his entire 401k on lawyer fees.  We share an apartment together and for the last 4 years we've been demolishing what was left of the house ourselves and cleaning it up to hopefully start new some day.  I have been working and saving in hopes to get a construction loan to rebuild, but in today's economy with my large amounts of student loans, it is almost impossible to get a construction loan.  So my best friend suggested I try this.  My father and I have worked for everything we have and don't take advantage of "the system".  I will rebuild a home on my family's property,  my only concern is will he ever get to see it or live there.  With all the stress the last 7 years and everything we've been through, I'm not too proud to try this and ask for a little help to get my dad back on the property he raised his 3 children on and would like to spend the remainder of his time on this earth at.  So Please,  any little help is sooo appreciated and please spread the word and our story.  The Insurance company and Law Firm profitted from our misfortune, I feel my family is due a little good luck."
Link here: http://www.gofundme.com/now7sk

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Trap door in the sun...

(Just dive in... just start writing.. no clue as to what I'm about to babble, exactly, but I know what its about)

Listening to "You Know You're Right," to help set the tone and help me stay focused... so you should know, in case you're clueless as to the song, this one may not be a feel good story, but not sure.

Unsure because I want to write about a couple taboo topics that are fitting for the date, not Easter, but April 5th.
The day Kurt Cobain (1994) and Layne Staley (2002) died.  You'll read "self inflicted gun shot wound," and "heroin overdose," but not depression.

For some reason, saying "I'm depressed," is brushed off, maybe too ourselves in our heads or to whoever we may say it to.  We may look in the mirror and think it, eyes may well at times for virtually no reason... we get that ball in our throats, almost feels like a sore throat coming on, and we swallow the words down, wash our face off, put on our "costume," and move along... the costume helps us play the part of "I'm ok!" just as the smile does or the workload or whatever else we do to distract us or anyone looking our way.
Physically, it feels like someone constantly leaning on your back... like the fluids in your body are sluggish and not flowing smoothly... everything feels a little heavier, a little slower, a little less than 100 and we just feel "off."  Problem is, it builds momentum and what just felt "off," has snow-balled into a heavier load.
(I need to dive in a little deeper, so I change over to "Nutshell," by Alice in Chains and play it on repeat)
You stop seeing an optimistic "we'll figure this out," outcome in daily situations you once handled.
You doubt yourself in activities you once had confidence.
You may look to destroy your life and proclaim "I don't deserve what I have."
You look for exits from situations because the depression has given you anxiety about conversations, in with friends, and you hide away.  So you stay home and friendships dissolve.  You're probably not even productive, you just sit home,  over watching television and not taking great care of yourself.
Some people try to medicate with food or alcohol, over-eating or over-drinking, or both... some type of vice appears or escalates that helps you feel a bit of happiness, even if just temporarily, which is where the habits are born... we need to feel happy again.
If un-helped, a few of us tinker down a more dangerous path or more dangerous drugs, maybe prescription pills, maybe heroin or something along those lines and addictions amplify, leading to... to be honest, troubles I've never personally experienced so I can go on too much here.  But if you listened to my podcast with Ben, you heard his money troubles... I think he knows he was real lucky.  Others have had more severe troubles, more dangerous situations, and/or death via accidental OD or suicide... you may think "not me," and you may be true, maybe not... but it could definitely be the guy next you. There's no age requirement, sex, income... Anyone.  
I'm 38 and I've had many, many friends.  Friends with money, friends with low level jobs, lawyer friends, all over... friends w many relationships, friends with few... you might think "nah, not him/her, they had so much going..." but you cant know.  You'd never know.  Just as Ben told me what an awesome liar he was at hiding his addictions and everything he was into... and man, right now I get teary eyed just thinking of our talk... because it's so scary, that someone can be right next to us and appear so happy and here, but inside, they're fading, they're hiding, they're in so much real pain... but they smile to give us the "i'm ok," bs...   "Smile when it hurts."  So when they ask for help, or show a sign, you need to start paying attention, dive in and do not let go.  They will try to distract you and throw you off the scent.  They'll try to hide or run, run after them.  Like a wounded dog, they'll bark and bite when you get too close... endure.
They're in a dark place, maybe not as dark as you'd think, but maybe darker,  and you'd never know.  Work to pull them out, someway, somehow.  They might not be on an actual suicidal path, but that doesn't mean their life isn't greatly affected by the thoughts they're having.

You can help someone you know.

If you are the one that needs a hand... show a sign, even if you don't feel strong enough to say it fully... just a look can be the sign, just eye contact.

I believe people can help each other... not talking about Dr.s or medicines, but conversations and moments.  You don't have to be a professional, just an ear... Just be present and attentive... That could be all that's needed.

Peace, love, empathy,


Immortality by Pearl Jam