Saturday, April 21, 2018

Follow Up to Podcast #16 - I don't have goals

After hearing a couple reviews, which I usually ignore, turns out yesterdays podcast came off negative.  We text about it and all, but maybe it would be decent/helpful to clear it up.

When I talked about "finding a purpose," and that purpose actually being happiness and inner peace... I heard "whats wrong?" Someone heard it and thought "how depressing," and that really felt alien to me.

I let my dogs out into the yard a few minutes ago.  As they sprinted out and ran a couple random circles, I thought I want that.  I want the feeling they have, like "holy crap, I cant believe we're out here again!!! I never thought it would happen!" and sprint around the "yard."

But theres always next year...
Theres next season...
Next month...
When I turn 45...
or 25...
Lets do that next summer...
Lets make a plan, let's set a goal! and do that together next time...


Which is the issue.  We think our time is unlimited.  We let ourselves forget how incredibly fragile this life is and think "There's always tomorrow."  Til the day happens when tomorrow is now, and the clock is finished.
What we really have is now.
And then... now.
Ad now again.
Fill in the blank with the "tomorrow is ____ and yesterday was___," right?  It can be challenging to maintain, the thought that is, but its real.  Just, now. 

So no, I dont have goals.  I dont have the goal sheets anymore.  I don't think that should be confused with lack of ambition.  Plus I do believe there is a time and place for goals and certain attitudes, but they don't exist in my personal mind, my actual consciousness..

A friend told me he made a list of "things he likes," and thought I should to.  As I spent some time to think about, the list really didn't surprise me.  It's all the things I like to do everyday (I badly need a float center on the east side).  Now all I want to do is schedule for myself.  Super simple.  I want to schedule things in my life that make me happy.  That is all.  If we need to say "that's a goal," feel free.

Don't think I'm depressed or "broken," (although broken is sort of true in a good way) or any goofy label.
I'm just enjoying a new view on this ride.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Yield - 2 entries

Part 1


Been a while... hopefully I still remember how to do this.

I guess in order that it pops in, pretty sure that was the style.

I've been taking some classes, somewhat fitness related but a touch more.  Doesn't matter what it is, but its enough to take me to that old edge I used to find in yoga studios.  The edge that challenges current ideas and thoughts or the edge where brand new ones come floating in or old ones reappear in a new shape and form.
So after I drove home in silence, I sat in my car and wrote this on an instagram post:If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that no matter what happens, no matter how many wins or losses, successes or failures, pain or bliss, we can continue and endure if we choose to. We can battle til complete exhaustion and everything will still be fine. We can be rejected, shot down, our dreams can be set aside and it can still be ok. We are allowed to fail.
As I’ve written and talked about, life is not a pillow. It never was, never will be. It’s a tool for us to shape and move, to dive within and observe, to walk through and with. We can accept it and all possibilities w love, compassion and open minds and hearts, or wrestle until our energy is completely depleted... but how do you wrestle the ocean? 
This is not a defeated post, this is not a post in attempt to motivate... this is the line I believe exists. A line to walk. No matter the “weather,” or any outside interference, the line within, the line of our psyche can remain straight and true, w no fear of failure. #yield
The last 12-18 months haven't been easy.  I may have attempted to look "normal," or unaffected, for whatever reason, but I actually went too far.  It hit me one day about a month ago.  I was trying to create a video, with very good intentions, about the link between carbohydrates to inflammation then inflammation to cancer (its there, google it).  But as I began editing and recording more footage, I stopped.  I was sitting on the rooftop of the parking garage attached to Rainbow and the cancer center... I just sat down on the wall and stopped. And cried.  I don't know if one day has gone by that I haven't.

I can't fight anymore.  I don't want to fight anymore.  My moms death, then Ben, it became an obsession.  I couldn't talk without echoing some conspiracy or theory on how screwed everything is in this world.  So yeah, it is screwed, and as a world society we're messed up, but it's not my fight.

All I can control, all you can control is yourself within your space.  That really is it.  We can attempt to influence positivity and educate, but end of the day, we're not in control of the outcome. 

I'm about to be 41.  I'd like to continue and finish out with a nice job with nice people, make it great, coach football well and enjoy my time.   Yield.

We were talking about my mom tonight and I asked "wonder what she would do?"  She would say "let it go."  And it would be the right thing to do.


Part 2

Just turned 41 a few days ago, a new baby on the way, new job/career redirection and transitioning in/out of some phases. I haven’t exactly lived under a rock. I’ve had some time as an entrepreneur, working with and for entrepreneurs. I’ve coached a few sports for a few seasons, was able to experience a wide variety of young people. I’ve worked closely w hundreds of grown adults coming from a a variety of backgrounds and histories. I’ve failed hard and had moments of “ok.” I believe a good number of big conspiracies and question facts, I feel I have an honest eye about this world. That’s all I’m saying.
So I recently broke or dislocated a few bones in my foot. I have a good amount of info stored in my brain that lets me know a few things about this injury. Rest it, elevate, ice, things like that. Do that and it’ll basically handle itself. I don’t need to talk to it or ask it “please heal.” I trust the system. Rest, ice, take care, it’ll heal on its own.

But I suffered an injury last April that I can’t seem to shake. I thought I could. I thought I was building a system that would be able to shake off anything. A system that could break and repair immediately, that could walk in and out of anything unharmed.
I was wrong.

So we have all these names and titles and on and on, right? We agree to agree on that. I play this role, you play that role, and off we go.
Then in looking back to the first paragraph I wrote above (part2)... what that’s taught me is how paper thin these roles really are. That they can be copied, transferred, burnt, recreated, torn up and trashed, they mean absolutely zero.

I'll never forget one of my therapy evenings.  An incredible wave of loneliness swelled my body unlike anything I've ever felt, and it's really never left.  And I don't mean it in a "boo hoo, I'm all alone," thing.  I remember looking around at friends and seeing a connection yet knowing fully how temporary it actually is, and it felt completely comfortable.    


The actual conflict is survival. And survival today, 2018 in this country, has taken on a new meaning or vision, one that the human concept (in my opinion) isn’t exactly built for. (Flip side, we could argue that we are built for adaptation). 
Yield




Sunday, November 19, 2017

...is this thing on?

I don't remember when it changed, when it dissolved exactly, but at some point in my life roles became very blurred... titles became irrelevant... that guy with a certain position of importance, position x, was just that guy, just a guyEveryone has or had a mom and dad, all came crawling out and into diapers to barely walking to wherever we currently sit, right?  Not very different at all.  And this has gotten me into some trouble over the years... the blurred lines, the lack of acknowledging roles, Not in a disrespectful type way or flat out rebellion, but when you see it how I see it, it can make most people uncomfortable.  And I heard an analogy recently that kind of pieced it together and that was the story of the Great Oz.  That everyone is playing a role and they're scared shitless if someone were to ever pull back the curtain.  People play the role of Oz or whoever, all hiding behind the curtain of the role.  For whatever reason, I've always felt like the guy who's allowed to peak behind the curtain and ask "Hey, whats up?  Whats going on back here?  Don't worry, I wont tell anyone."  When I do that, when I peak inside,  they either laugh and invite me in or they "leave."

People have a strange need, a few of them.... a need of being important... a need to matter... a need to grasp and hold onto things to give us rank, thats the importance.  But like I said above, we all came from the same place... crawling out and into diapers, and we're all headed to same peaceful place, so whats the difference.  And this isnt a hippy "who gives a shit, none of this matters," type thing, but it's a Stop Being Afraid, type thing.  Just stop.  Stop telling yourself no.  Stop telling yourself you're not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, stop telling yourself you can't because you always can.  You can.  But you can't when you're too busy kicking your own ass, right?

So if you choose to acknowledge the opportunity of a role... go play it.  Play the character... clear all the bullshit that isnt real and become the character... its limitless.... it's limitless.  Create your own style of whatever is entering your brain, whatever you might be daydreaming about.  Have faith in that thing that makes your heart rate accelerate a little bit...

I've met and known people my entire life who never gave it the shot... never jumped, never went for their thing, because someone, somewhere, in some chapter in history planted a seed of doubt, of fear, of limits, roles and expectations.  And it's all a lie.  You are more.  All those stories that influenced you to sit where you're sitting, they're just not real. 

the entry from last week, about painting a picture, kinda came to me while sitting in a coffee house... the freedom to paint the picture of your life, and that's whats real.  Your imagination, your consciousness, and all that's needed is the courage, love, faith and willingness to put forth the action to create from it.  Trick is, we're all looking for something, all needing, like I wrote above, but the catch is this... we already have it.  Didn't I say that at the end of the Power Program?  You already had it.  I didn't give it to you, i just helped you reopen a closet that you piled up a bunch of shit in front of and had forgotten.  I just helped you clean up the laundry and motivate you to open the door... it was there all along and it's yours. 

You are the creator and that might make you uncomfortable. 
It shouldn't... laugh at it... you are already complete, you are already ready.  Enjoy.  Stop fearing, stop stressing, all of this material shit, the job you hate, all of it, let it go.  Divorce yourself from the story thats making you become something you are not.


Monday, November 13, 2017

The Day After....

...therapy can usually be a little sketchy.  Where some methods can assist in settling things down, like  float tank, others drive you more inward, forcing you to explore and search for unanswered questions you've been afraid to even ask, or ones you've completely buried and ignored.
Problem is, one way or another the subconscious will rise, so it's probably best to open the door under your own doing so you're not sucker punched by letting it seep out into the world in the form of bad relationships, dangerous drug and alcohol use or just general self sabotage.  I cannot express this enough, your subconscious must be addressed and greeted kindly.  You cannot wrestle or argue.  Say hello, and make it comfy, because you could and should be in for a conversation that's going to alter your mindset.  Might push you forward or might change your direction all together.  All I know is, something will happen.
(Last time they wondered if I'd gone crazy, 
soon they'll know its called "awake").
One of the experiences that still stand out most, was the evening I had the behind the scenes look at the theater.  To refresh your memory or catch you up if you hadn't read it yet, I was under a variation of hypnosis.  While here, I remember watching a type of performance go on, nothing spectacular, it reminded more of a carousel of characters, entering stage right, exiting stage left.  As the characters entered, the crowd would applaud or laugh or react whichever way was most appropriate.  This went on a good bit, a constant rotation of new faces and costumes.  However, from my vantage point, I could see behind the curtain.  I saw the stage and show and I also saw what went on behind the scenes.  How quickly the characters were able to change clothes, change their face, change everything and go back out and what I thought was a full cast, was only 6-8 different people.  The same people that played nurses and doctors, played teachers and parents, played presidents and politicians, played the neighbors and community "leaders."
When I came out, my only emotion, my only thoughts were wrapped into the idea that this is all fixed, all a charade.  That this is all a part of a plan.  Now, I know that someone may be reading this thinking this is crazy, if they even got this far into the blog, but I do believe and just tweeted a quote from Paul Stemets who was just on Rogan, "I think we need to accept the fact that the reality is not limited to the perception that we have traditionally used."  William Blake wrote "If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.  For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern."
Think of how distracted we are, how unclear our vision probably is.  Like driving our cars through a storm and field, our windows of perception are not operating to the fullest.  They need constant cleaning and how can we do that when we're so busy driving through the storms, searching for comfort and safety and our tribe.
So what if my vision was my subconscious shining a light?  A light to wake up.  A light to a certain path.  To stop buying the ticket for their play.
may have even influenced me to go get 
a tattoo inspired by another great character.
Some people think I'm a conspiracy theorist, but I dont think they understand the meaning of the word conspiracy.  It means to plot or plan.  I bring this up because for about 12 months, my life has been consumed with a background story that I cannot turn off.  It runs in my head while trying to sleep, it runs in my head when I hear your stories, it runs all day and night.  It is nearly distracting to the point of debilitation.  
The only remedy I've found unfortunately, 
is very seasonal and runs from Aug-Nov.
So as I sit and struggle through writing a new goal list... staring blankly at my new notebook... I wonder what I want, what I need, where I want to go.  I just wrote about the canvas, but I struggle to paint.  The struggle lies in belief, or lack thereof.  Not a lack of belief in my abilities, but a lack of confidence and belief in our system.



The story I've been tip toeing around, is my mom.  I believe she was mistreated, lied to (via ignorance, not evilness) and sent down the money line like people you've known or will know.  Her story is not rare, its been happening for years and it has been designed.  My struggle is I don't know what to do about it.  My initial thoughts were I need to finish school... I need to educate myself more and then others.

I remember the day the first doctor told me and my sister... my poker face could've won an academy award.  So much so, I actually remember being worried that my lack of reaction was going to scare my sister into thinking I may have finally "broke."  But my first thoughts were How does she recover and fight?  Whats the most intelligent plan or action?
We were told there was none.  That the types of cancers she had obtained could not be beaten.  Goes without saying, I did not believe that.  I still dont.
So we all kind of began our own research.  I influenced a search down one path, while I went another.  Both good, but I knew where I was looking wouldn't get much value in this state (Ohio) with doctors of a particular age.
The information I needed and found, wasn't hard to find when you know who to ask.  Through 6 different contacts, all licensed professionals, I found information and supplements/ingredients, all w scientific evidence and results that this cancer could be beat or off-set with doses of CBD oils and a combinations of mushrooms, one being a Turkey Tail protein that is sold locally.
I presented this combination and information to my moms doctors via phone, asked them to look into it.  They said that there was no scientific evidence supporting the claim and they could not recommend it.  I said there was evidence, showed them and asked again.  Like the robots they are, they again said there was no scientific evidence supporting the claim.  I asked one last question and that was to not tell my mom that.... I needed her to believe.  I asked them to not tell her the prognosis.. because I needed her to believe.
The mind works in amazing ways when you believe one way or another, so when I say this was fixed, it's been in the works for decades.  I don't blame my mom for losing belief... I blame the system that created her in way to have so much faith in a conspiracy.
Do doctors know?  I do think they do.  I think they intentionally shit on anything they didn't learn in college.  I think they're scared shitless of what marijuana laws can do to hurt their income.  Because dont think for a second that when insurances arent maxing out, and billions of dollars in prescriptions arent being written, that many doctors wont need a second job to pay for their over-priced, over-rated education.  Do you know whats headed down the pipeline in Cali?  Psilocybin Mushrooms are on the ballot to be dropped to a scheduled 2 drug, meaning it has medical use.  If it has medical use, why was it ever illegal to begin with?  And if it has medical use, why is it even ON the ballot?  They weren't even made illegal until 1971 because... another post.  But you can google it on your own.
Do you know the most effective treatment for PTSD and passing with success in the upper 90's?  Here's a hint:  Not pain killers or scripts from the VA.   What is coming from the VA is actually increasing the suicide and overdose rate for veterans, but hey who's to say whats right or wrong when billion dollar companies are running the company, oops I meant country.


What's my point?    Possibly a little off target there, but needed to get it out and find a way.
Point:  Think.
Stop watching the news, stop watching brainless television.  Stop becoming distracted by this horribly embarrassing president.  Stop flipping through facebook at 10pm every night.  Stop giving a shit about how many likes you have on social media.  Stop talking about people.  Stop giving a shit about things you will never ever change.
Think and educate yourself.  Educate your family.  I ran into an old friend at a grocery store last week, he was telling a story about desert his friend was making for work.  He said "whoah, dont buy that brand, thats the shit you buy for people you dont love."  Really funny way of saying "poison."

What are you going to buy for people you do love?  Are you going to sugar coat their life, limit their information and pillow the world?  Or educate?
Fact:  Refined and processed carbohydrates feed cancer cells via 3rd party.  These carbs create inflammation, which is a breeding ground for cancer cells.  So can some doctor answer no with a straight face when asked "Do carbs cause cancer?"  Yes.  But are they a great assistance to the creation, growth and movement of cells?  Yes, they are.

Read a book, watch a documentary, take care of your family, friends and people you love.



Other conspiracies I find interesting:
The war on drugs
Interest rates and loans
Education system and the "ghetto"
Religion
Structure of our country
and new age media

"I think we need to accept the fact that the reality is not limited to the perception that we have traditionally used."
Paul Stemets



Tuesday, November 7, 2017

He asked, "Now what do we do?"

...and we left.

They went where they go, I went to a nearby Panera to start work.

I didnt immediately answer because the answer definitely cant be handled at Peties... what I saw in my head was a kaleidoscope of variables.  Shapes and colors, no rhyme or reason to the patterns or movements.  You might see it like that one day as well.

Couple things to understand... Life doesn't happen to you.  You'll hear that a lot, mostly by people who never made it happen for themselves, or at least not the way they once imagined.  So they cashed in and said "welp, life happened," when you ask how they wound up here.

Life is not an attacker, an oppressor, nor a gift giver or guardian angel.  It's a canvas.  A big one.
So first thing I advise is to start collecting your colors, which you already have a few, grab your brush, or brushes, and start painting.  It is absolutely your canvas space and you are completely free to paint it however you choose.  You choose.  Not your parents, your teachers, coaches, friends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, kids, no one.
You even have the freedom to paint, then say "this one sucks," rip that sheet off and start again.
Now, tricky part about this canvas is that it's shared space.  So be mindful to not let your drawing interfere with someone else's art.  If you're lucky, you'll find yourself painting near some like minded people, then the painting gets really fun.  Painting near others can definitely expand or shrink your creative space so be mindful of where you position yourself.  This might be the biggest decision you ever make.  And remember, you can move your seat if you like.  Your free to do whatever you like.  Although it's shared space, you have to grab a piece for yourself and not become a "watcher."
"Watchers..." do just that.  They're the ones that let 10 years slip by, talking, observing, never doing, only complaining or criticizing those doing the painting... don't be a "watcher."
(Don't screw up anyone else's painting either).

So as you sit there, preparing to draw and create for the first time, just draw.  Dont be afraid to make a mess or get paint on the floor.  Mistakes will happen and on the first few tries, good chance the picture in your head, wont turn out exactly how you want it on the canvas.  All good.  It takes a little while and plenty of practice to hone your skills and learn how to create in a crowd.  As long as you still have paint and a brush, you're still good to go.

Now, if a colorful painting analogy didnt do it for you, start w a goal list.  Here's the juice in having one while you're young... You haven't dealt with 5,000 assholes telling you what you can't do.  Secret is, there is nothing.   Want to study abroad?  Go.  Want to become an NCAA ref?  Go.  Want to write a book?  Go.  Want to become a teacher/coach?  Go do that too.  There is no time limit, there is no boundary, there is no hurry, there are no NO's.  It's all yes's and opportunity.  Now, someone may advise... "Eh, lets do this first, then that..."  Why?  Measure their advice wisely.  Where is it coming from?  Even love can be masked with fear and most people wont have your courage or most importantly your dreams.  They don't see your canvas the way you do, and again... it's yours to paint.  They're painting there own.  I promise you, someone is reading this right now and thinking "Shut your mouth, you crazy sob!"  but they know its accurate.

Important things to keep in mind, in no particular order:
1) Don't go into debt. -   No school debt, no house debt, definitely no credit card debt.  Debt could force you into working jobs you hate and way too many hours doing it.  Debt is modern day slavery.
2) Travel as much as possible.  -  See that globe?  Spin it.  Much larger than these few square miles.  Go see it all.
3) Don't take anything toooo seriously.  -  Ya, we may do some things here and there that can carry some weight, but when the dust settles, we're still who we are and you're going out the same way you came in.
4) When you have the cash, own a boat and a motorcycle.  -  Because why not??  Cars are like watching television... you cant feel it.  Get in it.
5)  Be honest.  -  Even if it scares the shit out of you.
6) And don't be afraid to change your mind. -  You might change 50x over the next 70 years, so what?
7)  Find a good role model and study him/her a little.
8)  Never give up
9)
... never fails.
So "now what do we do?"
Anything you want.  There are no no's, only yes's and opportunity for those who want it.   Never forget it, never cave in, never give up.  
I think you knew this would be answer tho... did you really think "Are you going to college?" was it?

Sunday, July 30, 2017

A Quick (and probably strange) Football Post - A Thank You Note

Started coaching around 2002, 2003 or so, I really dont remember the year exactly, but my HS coach called me one day and asked if I was interested in "getting involved."
General rule: if Coach Nack calls, you say yes and show up.

I graduated from Wickliffe HS and played with a great, great group of guys for 2 years under a tremendous coaching staff.  A lot of people talk about their "guy," or their team or staff, but to this day, I've never met a group like them.  I then coached at Richmond Heights, Wickliffe, Ledgemont, NDCL and now Eastlake North.  And in every stop along the way, those young guys taught me more and gave me more than I could ever give them and I carry them all with me into every single season.  This one more than ever.

The older we get, we're able to bring up our own history and lessons learned to reintroduce them in a new manner to help get a point across or open communication along the path.  Things happen and I'll think "ah this reminds me _____," and think back to when I started 2 sophomores and a freshman at linebacker, and loved watching them attack with no fear.  They had nothing to lose.  I have a habit of plugging in young guys often to help get them Friday night ready for the future.  I'm not afraid to let guys grow a little under the lights.  Each group of guys had their story, had their personality, sweat all over the practice fields.  Some guys/teams needed a spark of intensity, others needed cooled down, some needed to appreciate the game within the game.  All different, yet very similar.

Every year, every season, delivered a new character, a new personality manifesting itself as a team.   Less than 24 hours away, I wonder who we'll grow to become.  I wont know that answer for another 10-13 weeks or so but I do know it will be good, honest, and I'm confident we will grow into something we'll remember.  We always do.


Sunday, July 16, 2017

Go FAIL Yourself

At this moment that I sit down to write whatever pops in my head, I'm also playing 3 chumps at chess... 1 has already lost to me today, badly (requested a best out of 3), another is about to lose (it'll be over by the time I'm done writing) and the 3rd just began; watching ufc; washing laundry; and getting ready for Monday.

---

The past couple weeks or so, my landscaping has gotten my attention.   In the past, I never really noticed the yard much.  If grass was cut and nothing insane was out of place like a down branch or anything unsafe, it looked looked ok to me.
On my facebook time hop, a picture of my youngest daughter came up.  It was from about 3 years ago, with fish in hand, my yard in the background.  And I noticed how nice the bushes and perimeter of the pond looked.  So for about 4 hours on the weekends, I try to give it a little attention... until today.  I charged up as many batteries as I could find for the weed eater and hedge trimmer and anything else I could find.  Pulled out 150' of extension cord and my wheel barrow (one of those easy ones I ant spell... was it right?)

So I'm out there, having a nice time, sweating and pulling weeds, taking down dead branches and cleaning an area... no music or distractions.  Kinda hit me...    how fast things can get away from us if we don't give it attention.

---

I was visiting a business this past week and they invited me to wait while they finished a meeting.  Caught my attention because the conversation was about sales and prospecting and such, setting weekly/monthly goals.  So I paid close attention to the head of the meeting as he watched the staff talk about success numbers and to set goals of completing x sales per day.  This went on for about 10 minutes.  All about how many sales they needed for the week to hit the month goal, then ended with that.
I wanted to take it further... daily goals and then not just success goals but failure as well.  "I have to fail at least once today."  I literally have this goal for myself to fail at something everyday.
Before reading on, think about why I or anyone would want to fail.

If I'm setting out to do something outside of my range where failure is high probability, I'm going to grow from it.
If I'm just going about a care free day, doing what I can roll out of bed and do... A) its not very challenging and then B) because it's easy and not challenging, there's no movement or growth or opportunity.  Playing the safe, easy, care free day will always keep me in this exact same place.  And that can relate to business, or relationships or training or anything.
Came up for me twice recently.  As a real estate agent, we have to prospect a bit and reach out to "for sale by owners," and that kind of thing.  So its not easy and I'm not exactly Mr. Social.  I dont really ever just walk up to people and start talking.  So my goal wasnt "I'm going to get a fsbo to sign with me today."  Odds are greatly not in my favor.  Its just not something that happens like that (click your fingers).  So saying "I'm going to get one today," would be like "I'm going to run a marathon today."  The goal is the marathon, as the goal is letting the fsbo know I'm the man for the job.  So for the marathon, its "I need to run 3 miles today," and the FSBO its "I just need to knock on a door."  That's it.  You cant hit a grand slam with no one on the bases.
My other example was at football camp.   Summer camps and we install new ideas to see how things look and tweak it moving forward.  So we installed plays we needed and then set it into motion...
failed.  And failed.  Error after error.  I let them know "All good... we should be failing now and making mistakes... and then fail and error another 50 times... why?  Because it shows you're still working and then eventually you're going to have that AH-HA moment and it all comes together."
Ever fail on repping a max weight?  How did it feel the next day or moving fwd?  Providing you didn't tear a rotator cuff)  I have
Ever fail sprinting up a hill?  Just run and run and eventually thats it... legs are just jello and lungs burn so bad you wonder if anyone's around for CPR?   I have
Ever fail in competition?  I have
Ever fail in _____?  I have
And all those failures are so needed.  People that have it easy, and I mean easy.  I mean people who really never had to bust their butts to pay bills.  People who never recvd notice that electric was turning off.  People that didn't have to buy a car for $1000 just to get through the winter.  People that never didn't lose a house.   Some people were just born a little further ahead in class and didn't have to grind the way others did.  Those people, they just dont know failure the same way and because of that, they just dont have the armor that you do... they'll break and you wont.  They'll "tap out," and you'll keep pushing.  Because you've failed time after time after time and you continue to fight and push and find your way, because of that persistence, you are stronger, better and more equipped to handle every damn thing that comes your way.  You've already experienced the pain of failure and pushed forward.  Learned and grew stronger.  Now do it again.  Reach for the shelf that's just a bit too high and when you fail, call out that guy in practice thats a year older than you, put in one more hour at your craft, sign up for the class and finish the degree, take that side job you've been thinking about.  And swing away.  Fail and miss and come up short and then reload and do it again.

And when you succeed.... dont forget to take minute to yourself to sit in the backyard with your dogs... and just remember the actual important things in life.  

---

Chess news:
I tweet out "Free #POWERFUL to anyone who can beat me in chess."
So I whooped Brad, badly and moved on to take out Louie.  As this was going on, Brad requested "best of 3."  Sure.
Within 4 moves I thought 'This isnt Brad anymore."  So I text Louie during our game to ask who is playing Brads board.  Sure enough "His dad."  So then I had to turn my brain on, but it was too late.  Lost about 8 moves later.
Lesson learned. never underestimate an opponent.

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This Is Blue Chip