Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Ever see a ufo?

Ever meet a guy that thinks humans are aliens?
Ever meet a guy that swears he's seen a ufo?
He may start to tell you his story and you can really see it in his eyes, he believes it. 
And you may say "hey man, you're full of shit, right?"
And he'll say "I was there, I know what I saw."


A lot of conversations have flown my way in regards to a studio and yoga.  I'll be honest, it's made me daydream a little. 
Haven't let myself do that in a little while.  
I started hearing playlists again. Started seeing flows in my head.  Even in a kettle class recently, something happened and we transitioned into a yoga flow. 
But w yoga, I always wonder things. 
I wonder if my clients can tell (or know) how much yoga is layered in...
And I wonder what that means or who else knows "yoga layered in..." The text-book yogi would babble "there's yoga in everything."  Hey yogi, you just lost half the audience, ssshhh. 
(This ones already loaded w irony)
I always want to tell a story about a "class I ran."  But the memorable classes, I didn't run.  We showed up, the music hit, my energy went like this, your energy went like that, and it combined to be something of memory.   Those light, the heat, the small room, it was just intense.  That scenario, I knew 100% what could happen w the right music.
Text-book yogi will babble "music is a crutch."  I would respond "You are boring."  Music is an ally.  It can be a reminder.  It can be a friend or a teacher. It can be relative or a partner.  Some of my favorite moments in life, I compare to guitar solos.  There were so many classes where id create a playlist on Sunday night, then 30 minutes before class, a few people wander in and I'd go "new playlist," scramble into the lobby and fiddle w my little iPod thing, walk in right at the start, "high plank," and hit play.... And we're off and flying.  
I want to say "my yoga was _____," or something like that, but that's tough. Even in personal training, it's not me, it's the energy of the combination.  
Here's something I'll admit: that playlist I mentioned.  The day or two after, I'd run a class in another facility and use the list and try to duplicate class... Never worked.   Not once.  The same flow never came out.  Same music, same me, but things happened and it went somewhere else.  The energy didn't mix the same, it can't.  
Genuine cannot be recreated.  
Live guitar solos.  I have probably 30+ versions of live recordings of Even Flow by Pearl Jam.  An average fan or just a guy would go "the guitar solo," and think it's just Even Flow.  But every single solo is different.  It might start the same, might end the same or similar, but none are the same.  Same guy, same song, different version.  (Another scary thing to admit: you could play a few seconds of one and I'd know "oooooh, Seattle 2013.")

High plank.... And breathe... Hands right under your shoulders... A little movement in your toes.  Maybe rotate your head, neck around a bit, and just get comfy in this. ... .... .... Right hand is going to stretch straight ahead, stretch out and reach for the person in front you.... Left foot, just raise it up 2 inches, just 2... And get comfy in this.... Just breathe.  
Slowly, carefully, set them back down... Bend those elbows just an inch... Now another... And one more... And slowly drop to the ground. 
(It's Kanyes "runaway," instrumental.  I remember the first time I used it, near the end of class, someone whispered "I fucking love your playlists..." That was pretty much the best thing I could've heard).  
Just for shits n giggles, hit the link and give it 30 seconds http://youtu.be/L-a_051LYck, just to try to feel the 88 degrees of the room. 

So thumbs under your arm pits... Toes into the mat... Bring your thighs and hips up just an inch, just off the mat, stick your butt up... Now press through your palms, high plank.

I need a room, private and intimate.  Low lighting, high heat, big speakers and the energy. 

Friday, February 19, 2016

Not For You

  (Because I say FUCK a lot when I talk and I don't give a shit to sensor this one).


I met a girl about a year ago.  Pretty, smart, athletic, goal driven, etc.  This is the kind of person you meet and get to know and see she has options, she's on a path, for whatever that may mean.
She's been brought along to think the dots go 1-2-3-4 and so on.  So when the dots are misaligned, in her head, she... malfunctions.  A lot of people do.  Early in life, even later, if you don't have the skills to roll with the punches, you're in trouble.    Life changes, atmospheres change, people change, if you can't change, you'll struggle to get your footing.

"Hey asshole! Don't write about me!"
Trust me, there are 80+ people that'll read this and think it's about them or someone they know... Because it is.  Because this topic is so fucking broad and has touched multiple people you know.
So let's keep it vague and say "things changed."
When the change occurred, depression settled in.  That's what happens when the floor you were standing on falls away and you have no clue how to stop the drop.   Then you hit the floor in a new space you didn't think you'd be in or never knew existed, a new reality, and you're alone.  "What?  This isn't how they told it was going to go... Where am I?"
Then the good shit... You go to mommy. "Mommy, what do I do?"
Mommy says "welp, you're depressed and sad now, we better go see a doctor, because I see a fucking doctor for everything in my life and everyone knows doctors know everything and only look out for OOOUUUR best interest, not their wallets." 
So off they go, headed to a doctor.  
"Doctor, I'm sad."
Doctor says, "well shit! I have just what you need, here take this pill!  And if this pill doesn't work, come back and I'll give you a new pill.  And if this pill doesn't work, come back and I'll give you a new pill.  And if that pill doesn't work, come back and I'll give you a new pill!  Because fuck it! I'm guessing anyway muwahahaha"

Never mind the actual WHY.  The doc may or may not ask "what happened?" or "why are you sad?" and even if they do, well there's a fucking script headed your way anyway (newsflash, they make money off of selling prescriptions).

So you go home and start your script.
You may feel better, maybe not.  
You might feel better because the drugs drip a lil dopamine in that wild brain and you go oooooh that's the shit... Ahhh.

Or you may still feel foggy.  "Um I'm taking these pills but still unhappy."

Scenario A highlights you like getting high.
Scenario B says "hey dumbass, pills won't make you happy."

Now, if you're sitting there bitching about the bald know it all douche bag that typed this, you should know, I was that scenario.  I was the guy that went way fucking darker than you'll know.  So I have rights to talk this shit. I wasn't the light and fluffy "everythings going to be ok," optimist.  I was the "umm this entire place sucks and I'm getting the fuck out of here, soon."

So I went to the doc.  Barely had to say anything.  Truth, my goal was just to get anything.  "I may talk myself into some testosterone treatments if I play it right," but left w some anti-anxiety shit, no clue what it was.  I took them because I just wanted to feel different.  Feel something different. 
But I felt zero.  I went back.  He wrote another.  
But I felt zero. 
Then I let logic settle in.  This pill isn't going to make me love my day.  This pill isn't going to make me dread going to work (understand, this wasn't very recent).  This pill isn't going to make me laugh or smile, it's not going to make me see things differently. 

I thought things like:
Something missing 
I'm alone 
I don't belong here 
I don't like it here
On and on... 

So I had options.  Cash in and go, or add the ingredient into my life to make it more tasty. 
Here's my chubby analogy - think of a stew.  Do you make it as bland and boring as possible?  Or do you look to spice that shit up?!  Add a bunch of veggies and things that are good for you? Is it energizing?  Is it filling?? Do you want to share it w friends?  
You better.
You better make your life the stew you want to share w everyone you walk passed. 

Now, when you're down, you don't want to hear of this shit.  Everything a fog and your vision is very limited.  
Take the time to think.  Think about your life and the ingredients you need to add to it, to make it full.  To make it tasty.  Spices. And eat it up.  

Don't like your atmosphere? Move.
Don't like your job?  Get a new one.
Don't like your friends? Stop hanging out.
Why eat things that crush your energy?
Why do things that don't feed your soul?
Why hurt yourself? 

You are not a victim.  
You are in complete control of your life.  

Want an antidepressant?  Go take a yoga class.
Want an antianxiety?  Go for a run.
Want to be a bad mf'er and crush a shitload goals?  Make it happen.  
Put the phone down and get your ass going.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Let's get engaged

Took me about 5-7 minutes of a yoga flow and the right sound in my ear to make me go "umm, where's my computer?"
not because I need my computer like a baby needs  blanky, but the little crack of light leaked out and I felt the urge... it's been a while.

Popped in within about 5 breaths.
Pretty simple stuff.  Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, most of us doing without thinking all day long.  We breathe in, we breathe out, and no thoughts given to it.
We stand, we sit, we move, with no thoughts given to it.
We _____, we ______, with no thoughts given to it.

So as I reached high with a full inhale, exhaled arms to my center, inhaled and reached higher stretching through my lats, trying to stretch right out of my ribs, breathing in until I could hold no more air, then a long, powerful exhale, hands to my sides, upper body fully engaged.  I wanted to fell the stretch to contractions, stretch to contraction... and I went "hey asshole, dont forget your legs."
Oh ya my legs, and I thought "Dont just stand here, engage."
And as simple as it was, reaching high as if I could stretch 12" higher and feel something Ive never felt, and then exhaling it all out until I had nothing left, I anchored my heels down, squeezed the ground with my toes, and engaged every muscle I could.  nothing wild, just engage.

Nothing wild, just engage.  Just be here.  We don't need you jumping through hoops and putting on a magic show.  We just need you to put the phones away, to be here now and engage.

Doesn't sound like much.
When I started writing a few years ago, it was a very common topic, the fight against complacency.  I thought maybe it was just a particular circle I saw around me.  But then I moved, but I still saw the circle but around new people.  Then I moved again, and I still saw the circle but in another new place.
I wondered if it was me.  Am I the only one seeing it?

I recently met someone who started a new job.  The day they were hired, they celebrated, hard.  Fist pumping, excited, yelling "Heck ya!  I got it!" truly happy with getting the job.  His first week, he'd say "man, this is great, I'm killing it," and putting out great work.  A couple weeks later, something changed.  I said whats up?  Nothing was up, other than the fresh feel of something new.  The feeling faded, as did his enthusiasm and he down shifted.  Comfort settled in, excitement wore off, and that was that.
Do we need goals to keep the "heart beating," the way you like it to?
Do we need to feel the do or die scenarios to rattle the cage and wake us up?
I've always said it's my injuries and failures that made me better.  Do we have to fail to know how bad it sucks?  Do we have to get hurt to smart enough to know how not to?

I recently began dead-lifting regularly and man, it gives me a high like yoga used to.   I get there, music on, and my mind cannot be anywhere else.  I'm so engaged in my form and how I want to feel, I could be in a tunnel, alone and its all good.  Everything from my toes in my shoes to my belt, headphones line, my hips as I drop, my grip, my breath... feels great.   Going "heavy," is the juice.  You can't do it and not be fully engaged.

I've told people "50 crunches," and they've ripped through it with no burn.
I've also said "20 crunches and squeeze the shit out of every rep," and they were left breathless, flipping over to stretch the cramp.
50 crunches with the brain off vs. 20 crunches with the brain on.

You can walk down the street, stuck in your own head, never see anything you pass on the path.
You can drive to work every day and never notice the businesses you pass.
You can go home, have dinner, watch TV and go to sleep, and never notice the new "things," in your house.
Moments to days to months to years can float right by... 2, 6, 12 years, poof... ...you are different now, but how?


"So then why don't you start teaching yoga again?"

Thinking about it.  I know I won't do it long term.  Maybe a 2 or 3 month blitz.  I need a room that I can feel, with a but of heat and loud speakers.
Yoga's a really weird thing for me.  I can do it everyday alone.  Standing in front of people, I need a little spark.  Part of it, I'm a little in my head.  Not that I'm wondering "good vs bad," or anything like that, but just wondering "what are they here for?" and that can mess with me.
Physical, mental, spiritual, emotional (oh god, here he goes), ya sure, yoga can do and be all that, but I just dont know if I care to be a part of the idea.  I'd like to have judgy little questionnaire where I could know why everyone showed up.
For me, as a student or whatever we call it, I'm here to feel.  100%  I'm here for the music to rock me, for the physical challenge to exhaust me, and when those combine, I'll let it tap into something emotional and let it race around as the music tames it, settles it... and then the juice.  The calm after the storm, where the thoughts are actually clear for the first time all day/hour/week/whatever.  The physical knocks you on your ass and you start to play head games and it eventually takes over, if you're engaged.  From physical to mental to emotional to... "WTF just happened?  I started crying on my mat thinking about how bad I want to go back to school and_______," yep that happens often, if they're their for the reasons that would make me teach again.
Telling me "it's for a workout," that wont do it.


You may see something lifting 100lbs and think "omg, thats so much weight!" or see someone else lift 300lbs and think "thats it?"
it's all relative.
you/we dont know what happened before we showed up and saw that lift.
you/we dont know the injuries he/she may be working around to even do what they do.
we dont know what they've already done or what they'll do next, so to judge the lift negatively is an asshole thing to do.

we've all had our own "injuries," and worked through "goals," or setbacks or achievements or we've "changed gyms,"  JEEZ man, easy on the quotes! 
We think we know, but we don't. We think we can judge because we've done x, y and z, but we cant.  We shouldn't.  You were built with your skill set, I have mine and they have theirs.  We all bring something to the table and offer strengths and gifts.  To judge anyone, is short sighted and self serving.
(obviously the irony is in judging those who judge... blahblahblah, round and around we go).

This Is Blue Chip