Monthly Mix Tape

New MOOD by Onnit

Monday, September 26, 2011

10

(Revised 3/2014)

I've been having some really great conversations lately with people I work with and friends about "effort."  And I know I harp on this all the time and I'm actually annoying myself but... I cant stop it.  Its in everything.  I recently posted something along the lines of "We're all motivated people, the difference is applying the thought to the actions."  We all want and need and have a desire to be better or to do more, but some of us have troubles putting together the actual thought to making it happen in real life.  We all day dream.... do they come true?  Why do they?  Or why dont they?  What stops us?

The two extremes are the ones that drive me the most crazy and honestly I admit its because I cant relate.  People who under achieve and people who ignore their themselves or their lives.  Maybe theyre not extremes but just both completely apathetic. 

Its so foreign to me.  Not that Ive nailed every goal Ive ever set out for, but Ive always given my all, always.  Always.  "Give til its gone."  I workout until I'm exhausted or I get the absolute most out of the time I have to workout.  I work all day long with very few actual breaks.  I hate turning the tv on because it distracts me.  Unless I'm scheduling appointments, I keep my phone out of reach because its too tempting to play a game.  I know not every single thing can happen, every single day BUT in every single day, positive movement can be made to "improve," whatever that word may mean to you.  So I see someone who I feel can be so much more and wonder "why." Someone said "who are you to ask why?"  I said "Well, because Im an annoying person and this is what I like to do."  I also think if there is a need to bitch every now and then, you know?  Why not try harder?  Why not point it out to people we care about?  If I didnt care, I'd let it all go.  If I didnt care about their lives, I wouldnt care at all about someone not working to make their dreams come true.  Think about that.  Think of how many of us let THAT dream float away.  And now we just day dream about it every now and then and think "what if...?"  But I work with waaaaaay too many high school kids, I refuse to coach day dreamers.  I refuse to train day dreamers.  I want dream makers.  And I truly dont care what it is.  I work with a young man right now, we train 3 days per week and he's a varsity player.  I want to know him in 10 years and he tells me it "all happened," or "it's happening."  I say "What is?" And he says "Everything I've tried to do." 

She said "you cant just grab them by their neck and throw into the box you want them to fit in."  True.  And I dont feel thats what I do, but...

... when I was young, I had no clue what "Full go," and "Effort," meant.  I thought I did, but I didnt.  I would practice, I thought I practiced hard.  Because I knew I could practice at 75% and still start, still be "good enough." So I thought I was doing the job. I made excuses to skip the weight room.  Why?  Because I had a real jerk off ego and thought I didnt need it.   Then I met a guy who basically wouldnt leave me alone.  And at the time, he was the absolute most annoying person on the planet.  Every corner I turned, he was there.  Every time I skipped a class, he popped up.  Every time I tried to skip weight room, there he was in the exit.  He would call my house, he would talk to my friends, he was on top of every single thing I did.  Then every drill I didnt finish, even if he was 100 yards away, I heard his voice.  Every missed assignment, he saw it and "addressed it," before the play was over.  In his mind, there was no explanation for not finishing a drill, for skipping the weight room, for not applying yourself and that went for the classroom even more than the field and even into our personal lives.  And then he went from most annoying person ever to one of the greatest ever, in just 10 very fast, short weeks. 

Why?  Because he saw what I/we didnt.  What we couldnt.  Because we all had so much other shit crowding our visions and minds, and he came in and cleared the air.  And he didnt quit even when he thought we ignored him most of the time... God, we wanted to.  But he never quit.  Even when we failed, he was there the same as he was when we were successful.  He was full go and full go was our goal. 

I was one of those guys.  I was fully willing to coast and not even achieve let alone underachieve.  I was the type of person that thought good enough, was good enough! He didnt grab my neck and force me into his vision.  He grabbed my heart and forced me to create my own vision.  Thats what parents and coaches jobs are... what friends jobs are.  What we're here for... if you're not improving yourself and people around you, I truly dont know what youre doing.

He said "Sometimes I feel I'm forcing myself to operate at a "5," because the "10," gets tuned out and people really cant handle it on a daily basis."  Then someone else responded with "You're doing yourself and everyone around a disservice (working the 5 instead of the 10)... do what you're here to do.  And if they dont want, do it again.  And if they reject it, do it again.  Never lower your expectations."   

Never lower your expectations, no matter where you are or what you're doing.  Sometimes things just don't work out, they don't match up.  Could be a job, a relationship, a trainer-client situation, anything.  
This is your life and that absolute last thing you want, is to sit there at 60 yrs old wondering "what if I tried harder..."

Sidenote:  A friend told me thats its not always a desire type thing.  It could be mental road blocks that we really dont realize we have.  We have the ability to sabotage ourselves without ever really accepting the fact that we're sabotaging ourselves!  Sounds crazy, right?  But Im a victim as well.  I know there have been times where I could have done this or that... and I didnt.  The obvious relation on this website is fitness.  We talk ourselves out of running, or let ourselves cheat our diets when we know in our heads what we should be doing... yet we allow ourselves to "fail."   
So stop.  Make the conscious decision to stop letting yourself fail or fall short.  Imagine you have a mtg w yourself.  What would you say to motivate in this situation?  What would your you, say to yourself?   
I just did this last night driving home, I had a nice 15 minute drive on 44 where I turned off the music and said to myself "You need to..." And went on and on and when it was over, I felt great.  I didn't beat myself up, i just said what I would've said had I been my own client.  I then went home, worked out, wrote up a new 4 week plan, and finished some work.  
Give it a shot.  Talk to yourself like you're your own client/friend.