by Jenn Dudich
Self love? That is great and all, but self awareness is where it's at. You see, from Day one on this Earth, our little subconscious minds are taking in information and making assumptions. Yes, assumptions. Those things that we learn later in life are one of the worst things we could do! But, this is how our 5 senses and our brain interact. The senses bring in the info, the brain decides where to file it. As we mature, and learn things, our assumptions are either confirmed or changed. Unfortunately, for some, they have been confirmed over and over by an outside influence, or by themselves even though they may not be true. Either way, these little assumptions pop up all the time in our subconscious and they begin to influence our behavior patterns, and essentially the results that we cultivate.
So, what the heck does that all mean? Let's pretend that we have a young aspiring football player that shows up for practice. Whoa...who is this kid? He will definitely be a star quarterback! But look closer, and you might see a kid that goes home to a family that tells him he is wasting his time with football. A family that tells him that he will never make it. A family that reminds him of all the failures he has already had in his life. They tell him to quit day dreaming. They laugh at him.
This young man has already been defeated and cut himself from tryouts. No matter how much the coaches are telling him that he is amazing, he only hears his loved ones laughing at him. He hears his own voice asking him what the keck he is thinking by trying out. He used to fight it, but then he didn't make any other team hi tried out for. Maybe he simply wasn't good enough for those teams because his talent was in football, and he didn't discover it yet. Unfortunately, that is not how he looks at it. Instead he assumes his family is right. And so his behaviors pattern follows and you watch helplessly as his skills back off through tryouts.
To me...a coaches job is to find that diamond in the rough and help them become aware of their strengths AND what they are doing to get in their own way. Help them prove their assumptions wrong so that they can begin to flourish. Yes, you may have to push them. You may even have to coach loudly! But, at the end of the day...the most important thing you can do as a coach, is understand that you may be fighting against a life time of wrong assumptions that this person is believing in. So, when they back off or don't follow through. You remind them that they are great. You remind them of their progress. You help them learn their self defeating patterns. You teach them to be self aware. You don't give up, because the minute you do, you just confirmed their assumptions once again.
This rings true for all of us in some way. We all get in our own way of success. Some of blame others for our failures. Some give up and decide they just can't. Some are so afraid of who they would be without their doubts that they don't ever let them go. Some are comfortable in their habits. Some are completely unaware that they can change their thoughts, their actions, and their lives. Some figure it out and soar. Be realistic...and figure out, which one are you? How self aware are you?
Question: What does self love have to do with fitness and health and your general well being?