I think I need to find a way to spit this out one time and try not to again. Not because I can’t or wont, but because I’m very not an “I” person and the whole “I” is very ironic considering what I’m about to get into… not to mention I’ve written “I” 9 times already!
This is not a religious post nor is it something that will push me towards getting preachy and pounding my chest about. It’s a post to define how and why I plan to take a step back and redirect my energy and focus. Nothing will change with Blue Chip. Training and yoga will continue and probably get better, but my approach may change, I guess I actually don’t know.
For a long, long time I’ve slowly gravitated towards eastern cultures and their philosophies. Like a magnet, I feel it’s pulled me into the atmosphere. In some ways very obvious (yoga) and in some ways, very subtle (how I’ve interpreted song lyrics comes to mind).
I remember when I was a kid, my grandmother had a golden Buddha statue on her dresser. She called it Uncle Charlie and said it gave her good luck. I was 15 or 16 when she passed, so she probably told me that when I was 10-12, so I never had the opportunity to ask her anything “real,” about it and I often wonder if she was into the philosophies as well. I do remember her often consoling me when I was upset and was the first person to tell me to “smile when it hurts.” Maybe I picked up some things from her and didn’t realize it. I wish I knew where the Buddha statue disappeared to…
To keep this short, I’m going to dedicating myself to Buddhism. It’s always felt like “home,” and I’m very comfortable in everything it teaches and guides.
I know my hang ups will be in the business world and with “competition,” that’s really my only concern, but its also where my Russell Simmons and Deepak Chopra books have been very helpful and I know as long as I continue to find ways to give and serve, I will be ok. To be honest, I really don’t feel competition and I don’t mean that in a cocky way. I mean that as in “we’re all here to deliver as much good as possible and there are a million people out there, so there’s no reason to compete.” I hope that makes sense.
Honestly, even just writing these very brief paragraphs… I feel lighter. I feel like I was keeping a secret and kind of odd. Aaaaahhhhhh… big smile and looking fwd to sharing my experiences.