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Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Week in Review

We were at the track this morning for a class.  As we walked on, I saw a grown man (in shorts much too short, but no one else mentioned that) taking a couple kids through some exercises.  The way he was talking, I assumed it was their coach or a trainer.  
A little while later, the man and kids were jogging around te track and one of the girls in my class said "did you hear that?" And she repeated that one of the boys said "dad can I stop and get a water?" the dad said yes but the kids didn't stop running.  The dad jogged off, picked a water and ran it out the kids who were still running laps.  They were about 8 and 10 years old.
I said "looks like he's passing on his dads habits onto his kids."
Pretty sure the kids ran around 3 miles or so and someone might say "Good, kids need to learn to exercise."
In that atmosphere?  What was learned more, that their dad has some serious douchy tendencies and exercise is a drill or that exercise is fun? 
I'll admit, I'm pretty anti-parents in terms of their involvement with their kids athletics.  A great, great majority of my experiences, I've witnessed parents trying to relive or fix their poor athletic career instead of just encouraging their kid to be their own athlete and find the true meaning of sports, which is self expression through movement and competition. 
Something we seem to forget as we get older.



Kids don't need to run 3 miles on a track.  They run at will, they haven't learned poor form because they haven't been sitting at cubicles for 8 hours per day for 13 years. They know how to run and breathe and jump and compete and a have fun, that's what 8 year olds do until dumbass adults get involved an push their issues onto everyone. 

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I noticed something that improved my training more than any supplement, nutrition plan or program... I stopped comparing myself to others in the gym. 
I used to walk in and think "Shit... I'm a big guy, I need to lift heavier weights," and get discouraged quickly if I didn't reach a certain point. 
I wish I could explain how that thought dissolved but it's been a very pleasant and fun lifting experience in the new gym I joined (Everybodys Gym in Chardon).  Maybe it's the gym... Maybe I'm enjoying being unknown there and I helped the thought along.  However, it happened, it helped me have more fun during my sessions, I'm working hard and the results are coming through. 
It's not a fast process and it shouldn't be.  It's a daily process, weekly process, monthly, yearly and for life.   

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I tweeted once "I was never upset if they quit on me... I was upset they quit on themselves."
I thought about this recently and throughout my coaching and training career... I don't know if I'll ever stop being frustrated when people tell me their goals then disappear or skip sessions.  It's really not about me, its about their commitment to themselves.  God, that would feel so empty and just... eh. 
I want to do THIS... but never take the steps to make it happen?  What an unattractive quality to have. 


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Sometimes it's a little difficult to share things we experience.  Sometimes, you just have to be "in it," to feel it.  So I'd like to give details and paint a picture but i really don't think it would do it the full justice.
I can't write what eye contact feels like when talking to a friend in pain.... The empathy that surges through like a lightening bolt can be overwhelming.   You see a friend who just needs a little more strength to see it through and all you want to do is be that courage... But you can't.  All you do is hope the right words fall out of your mouth at the right time that spark a light, a new light, a stronger light of energy.... And you just keep waiting for the spark. 
Something hit me this week... And I can't go into details to protect privacy and trust but it's a heavy point that settled home so I need to share piece.  
You read quotes on Facebook or wherever about "everyone's fighting their own battles..." and you can fill in the rest.  And I beloved it but never really gave it much thought, just said "ya, true," and continued scrolling.  But I have some friends... And family... People close to me... Now and past... In my youth... I know some now... Clients, coworkers... Any description or category  possible... They're in pain.  
We are all in pain.  
Legit pain.  Some more than others but it's still there.
That's one thing we all have in common.  
And we all deal w the pain differently.  Some ignore it, and try to funnel it away... But it comes back.  You're an organism unlike any other... That pain is stored away and will return.
Some try to hide it away...
drink it away.  
smoke it away.  
train it away.
sex it away.  
work it away.   
eat it away.   
Some are buried in prescription pills and numb it away. 
Some hide in music and shout out hints through old mix tapes.
Some have tried all the above.  
Some try to perch up on some high horse and preach it away.
You can look around any room and see pain and see how it's being dealt with.


And in feeling this, one night this week, I kinda broke down.  Sometimes you have to wonder.... where's the relief?  Where's the end?   Where's the moment where we settle and accept and smile about it and know it's all ok?  

I think atmosphere is a pretty big deal.   I think where you spend your time is pretty huge.  Who you're around, the conversations you have, the genuine moments you share, it means a lot.  
Genuine is the key word.  And it's a real gray area now because sometimes when people are in pain, they're playing a part, a role.  They wear costumes and speak from a script.

Funny... As I'm writing this, a bunch of "yoga lessons," are dancing around the back of my head.  But even there... I know people who ran off and "found themselves," in the yoga room... Or did they?  Did they just cover it up w the new role?
I may have done that when I was younger.

I guess slow down is an answer... Start paying more attention to each other... Recognize the pain and help someone but don't forget about yourself.  Take a few moments each day to stop everything and sit quietly.  No crappy music, no distractions, just quiet.


Take care of yourself and people near you.  Recognize their pain and help.



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Sometimes this thing feels really pretentious.  But I think there are conversations that need to be had and things need to be said.
There's a line in my favorite song where Eddie mumbles (as he usually does)...
"And a i caught a glimpse...  of my innocence... Got back my inner sense... Still got it, I still got it..." and the band rocks the rest like you're weightless, taking off into the sky.
I mention that because it reminds of what we should be doing... The entire song does.  (Writing in a public place... Changing locations... No shades on and people may wonder why my feet are playing "air drums," on the curb)


(Ok... safe place.) 


Back on thought... Somehow, we stopped having those big conversations once we said "Ok, I'm an adult now... I have a job now...I have bills now.. I have... blah blah blah" and we fade.  I heard in a podcast that we achieve something like 85% of our learning before we're 8 years old and I totally agree.  Problem is, we forgot a great chunk of it once we learned peer pressure, started watching shitty television and turned into lazy asses. 


Since we forgot so much...ask yourself the questions you used to ask. 
What do you want to be when you grow up?  (Because there's a very strong chance you're not dong it now)  Why? 



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ2RebziO68