Monthly Mix Tape

New MOOD by Onnit

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Let's get engaged

Took me about 5-7 minutes of a yoga flow and the right sound in my ear to make me go "umm, where's my computer?"
not because I need my computer like a baby needs  blanky, but the little crack of light leaked out and I felt the urge... it's been a while.

Popped in within about 5 breaths.
Pretty simple stuff.  Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, most of us doing without thinking all day long.  We breathe in, we breathe out, and no thoughts given to it.
We stand, we sit, we move, with no thoughts given to it.
We _____, we ______, with no thoughts given to it.

So as I reached high with a full inhale, exhaled arms to my center, inhaled and reached higher stretching through my lats, trying to stretch right out of my ribs, breathing in until I could hold no more air, then a long, powerful exhale, hands to my sides, upper body fully engaged.  I wanted to fell the stretch to contractions, stretch to contraction... and I went "hey asshole, dont forget your legs."
Oh ya my legs, and I thought "Dont just stand here, engage."
And as simple as it was, reaching high as if I could stretch 12" higher and feel something Ive never felt, and then exhaling it all out until I had nothing left, I anchored my heels down, squeezed the ground with my toes, and engaged every muscle I could.  nothing wild, just engage.

Nothing wild, just engage.  Just be here.  We don't need you jumping through hoops and putting on a magic show.  We just need you to put the phones away, to be here now and engage.

Doesn't sound like much.
When I started writing a few years ago, it was a very common topic, the fight against complacency.  I thought maybe it was just a particular circle I saw around me.  But then I moved, but I still saw the circle but around new people.  Then I moved again, and I still saw the circle but in another new place.
I wondered if it was me.  Am I the only one seeing it?

I recently met someone who started a new job.  The day they were hired, they celebrated, hard.  Fist pumping, excited, yelling "Heck ya!  I got it!" truly happy with getting the job.  His first week, he'd say "man, this is great, I'm killing it," and putting out great work.  A couple weeks later, something changed.  I said whats up?  Nothing was up, other than the fresh feel of something new.  The feeling faded, as did his enthusiasm and he down shifted.  Comfort settled in, excitement wore off, and that was that.
Do we need goals to keep the "heart beating," the way you like it to?
Do we need to feel the do or die scenarios to rattle the cage and wake us up?
I've always said it's my injuries and failures that made me better.  Do we have to fail to know how bad it sucks?  Do we have to get hurt to smart enough to know how not to?

I recently began dead-lifting regularly and man, it gives me a high like yoga used to.   I get there, music on, and my mind cannot be anywhere else.  I'm so engaged in my form and how I want to feel, I could be in a tunnel, alone and its all good.  Everything from my toes in my shoes to my belt, headphones line, my hips as I drop, my grip, my breath... feels great.   Going "heavy," is the juice.  You can't do it and not be fully engaged.

I've told people "50 crunches," and they've ripped through it with no burn.
I've also said "20 crunches and squeeze the shit out of every rep," and they were left breathless, flipping over to stretch the cramp.
50 crunches with the brain off vs. 20 crunches with the brain on.

You can walk down the street, stuck in your own head, never see anything you pass on the path.
You can drive to work every day and never notice the businesses you pass.
You can go home, have dinner, watch TV and go to sleep, and never notice the new "things," in your house.
Moments to days to months to years can float right by... 2, 6, 12 years, poof... ...you are different now, but how?

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"So then why don't you start teaching yoga again?"

Thinking about it.  I know I won't do it long term.  Maybe a 2 or 3 month blitz.  I need a room that I can feel, with a but of heat and loud speakers.
Yoga's a really weird thing for me.  I can do it everyday alone.  Standing in front of people, I need a little spark.  Part of it, I'm a little in my head.  Not that I'm wondering "good vs bad," or anything like that, but just wondering "what are they here for?" and that can mess with me.
Physical, mental, spiritual, emotional (oh god, here he goes), ya sure, yoga can do and be all that, but I just dont know if I care to be a part of the idea.  I'd like to have judgy little questionnaire where I could know why everyone showed up.
For me, as a student or whatever we call it, I'm here to feel.  100%  I'm here for the music to rock me, for the physical challenge to exhaust me, and when those combine, I'll let it tap into something emotional and let it race around as the music tames it, settles it... and then the juice.  The calm after the storm, where the thoughts are actually clear for the first time all day/hour/week/whatever.  The physical knocks you on your ass and you start to play head games and it eventually takes over, if you're engaged.  From physical to mental to emotional to... "WTF just happened?  I started crying on my mat thinking about how bad I want to go back to school and_______," yep that happens often, if they're their for the reasons that would make me teach again.
Telling me "it's for a workout," that wont do it.

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You may see something lifting 100lbs and think "omg, thats so much weight!" or see someone else lift 300lbs and think "thats it?"
it's all relative.
you/we dont know what happened before we showed up and saw that lift.
you/we dont know the injuries he/she may be working around to even do what they do.
we dont know what they've already done or what they'll do next, so to judge the lift negatively is an asshole thing to do.

we've all had our own "injuries," and worked through "goals," or setbacks or achievements or we've "changed gyms,"  JEEZ man, easy on the quotes! 
We think we know, but we don't. We think we can judge because we've done x, y and z, but we cant.  We shouldn't.  You were built with your skill set, I have mine and they have theirs.  We all bring something to the table and offer strengths and gifts.  To judge anyone, is short sighted and self serving.
(obviously the irony is in judging those who judge... blahblahblah, round and around we go).