Scroll through social media and you'll find countless articles and video footage breaking down the NBA Finals.
Then you'll find twice as many links and articles breaking down who is the greatest of all time, MJ or LeBron.
Stats vs stats, pretty clear LeBron wins and will always win this area.
MJ lovers will fire back with "6-0 in the finals!!" and it's unclear if LeBron will ever beat that.
But neither of those categories mean who is or will be the greatest.
In my opinion, to find the "X" factor in this debate, which will live for many years to come, you should read David Halberstam's "Playing for Keeps: Michael Jordan and the World He Made."
After MJ won his 3rd consecutive title, he was asked where this ranks him among the all time greats. He answered "Every era is different, so that's an unfair comparable, but I do think these championships put us as a team right up there."
Break that down for a second and know that he did eventually go on to modestly compare himself to Bird and Magic but his initial response was the cream... "us as a team."
And i dont highlight that because of what LeBron recently said, something like "Im confident because Im the greatest player in the world," but because of the team MJ made.
I love Phil Jackson, probably the greatest coach ever, but MJ made that team and the NBA of the 90's. How?
Like Steve Jobs and other mad geniuses, they're obsessed. Obsessed to the point where nothing else matters but that one goal and they will do absolutely anything and everything to make that goal happen.
MJ would bully teammates, he would taunt the front office, and he would relentlessly trash talk opponents. At one point, it was written that he was the most disliked player in the league.
He made Scottie Pippen become who he became, because he demanded it of him. He saw Scottie could be his counterpart but he needed to toughen him up and help him find an identity.
Steve Kerr once set a screen on MJ at practice, MJ ran through it, knocked Kerr down and Kerr got up swinging, both players exchanged punches and practice was called. MJ throwing punches with teammates was not an uncommon moment. Often it was a reaction to his taunting, tough love at its "finest."
When the Pistons were ruling the NBA in the late 80's, MJ threatened Horace Grant to "grow balls or don't get off the bus," prior to a matchup in the 1990 season.
In 1992, Clyde Drexler was compared to MJ as his west coast rival and took 2nd in MVP voting then faced the Bulls in the finals, which the Bulls won. A month later during the 1992 Dream Team practices, he was trash talking Clyde Drexler so bad, Clyde came out for practice one day with his shoes on the wrong feet and Clyde nearly quit. What was MJ's aim? To crush Clyde and the Trailblazers, not the Dream Team. Come 1993, he wanted to already have the Blazers defeated. And this is the great difference between MJ and LeBron and the NBA in general and its rubbed off on todays youth.
I doubt another team will ever beat the Bulls win record they set in 1996. Players and teams coast now, they think they can flip switches and just turn on "winning," when they need to.... wrong. MJ and the Bulls wanted to beat you so bad, every time, it stayed in your head for the next game. MJ wanted to completely demoralize you. All the greats did. Bird used to keep stats during games and rattle off numbers to his match up as they came up the floor, talking non stop, "16-2, me," or "that was you 3rd turnover, coach is going to the bench soon." Magic was the same way, even Shaq and Kobe. They made it personal.
LeBron, hopefully this loss hurt him. All those years losing to the Pistons made MJ the bastard he was, that he needed to be. The NBA didn't used to be this friendly hip-hop club. I cant remember the last time i saw an NBA fight, it used to happen weekly. Do we need them? I almost wrote "no," but yes we do. With intensity that high and guys going that hard, we need scrappers to crank things up a notch. In my opinion, the Bad Boys of the late 80's are the second best team of all time. The Bulls teams of the 90's and the Pistons of the 80's would demolish the league now. Even the Starks-Ewing-Oakley-Riley Knicks would win the championship. The league just isn't tough anymore. It's soft, its 3's, its high fiving your opponent and helping them up off the floor.
LeBron is the most talented player to ever play. He has all the skills of Magic and MJ in a body we've never seen in the NBA. Big, fast, athletic, durable. Is he MJ? Not as of now. We need this loss to sting. We need the criticism to bother him and motivate him.
When people are handing you gifts from 16 years old on... I dont see it happening.
I'm not a hater, I think he's unreal, but as MJ said in 1993, different players of different eras cant be compared fairly. If MJ grew up in the Twitter age, he may have been a different guy too.
To sum it up, LeBron is too nice and MJ will fight you over a game of tic tac toe if you beat him.
(I actually do think I read he fought someone over a card game)
5 players I wish we could recreate for todays game:
Ron Artest
Patrick Ewing
Charles Barkely
Gary Payton
Dennis Rodman
honorable mention: Agent 0, Gilbert Arenas
5 coaches I wish the Cavs could pull but cant because they're all too old or dead:
Pat Riley
Don Nelson
Greg Popovich
Larry Brown
Phil Jackson
Todays NBA is just like everything else. Watered down and Disney. It's all about selling commercials and jerseys.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Monday, June 15, 2015
Let it be... random
Someone asked for a program, I gave it. i wrote it out and sent it away. Then I tried to write how to actually do it and this was a sticking point. Too much of it is mental. I can write it all day, but if you dont know how to feel it, how to fight through the tough spots, it'll be very average.
Theres no magic in my programming, just science and intensity.
---
I still look around gyms and cringe at the form I see... crazy squats with knees all over the place. Just ask for some help with form.
---
My own progress... well, I wound up stumbling upon a different map along my path to the goal I set out in January. I did not reach my 50lb loss, yet. Only about 23/24. Mainly because my goal changed in the middle of the plan, and it changed for a very good reason. When I set out in Jan, because of back and foot issues, I knew my cardio needed to be smart and my diet with little room for error. But then I met Audrey and she offered up a little barter deal, which landed me on her massage table. Prior to this event, you couldve seen me wincing in pain to pic things up off the floor let alone squatting w a bar on my back or dead lifting. After this one session, nearly zero pain with movement. So I hit the squat rack to see what would happen. What happened was a new program and new goals. For the first time in years, probably 10+, my squat is heavier than my bench and my bench doesnt suck. My squat was embarassing, if you cared what people squat, 225 was about it and right around 8 reps, where my bench was 225 for mid-high 20's. Within 8 weeks, the squat is in the mid-upper 300's and able to touch 3-5 reps with pretty decent depth. My butt isnt going below my knees, but right around or just a tad above.
Kelly Starrets distraction stretches are very helpful as well. It usually takes me about 20-30 minutes to warm everything up enough to the point where I feel confident getting after it. Regardless, I'm able to lift heavy again, and this is what I enjoy doing. So my goal changed a little. I'll still lose the next 25 but not inthe time frame, I dont think I could now. the weight loss has slowed dramatically with the new weight program. I've stopped full body circuits and replaced them w 2 different leg days and two upper body days, and none of it is based on the day of the week but a rotation of 4 days. So hitting squats twice in one week can happen, which is fine. Thats become my new obsession. I badly want to see 4 plates on each side of the bar.
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I recommend massages w Audrey, acupuncture w Jared and yoga by yourself.
---
I'm still amazed by the human ego... why it exists or why people ignore it, are ruled by it, and let it hurt. I see people, I watch their behavior, listen to their rumors... and i start day dreaming about the things that can help to stop looking at life the way they do. Too much pain. Not enough help. People are busy and walk around staring at their phones or worrying about their life. People think things are great now, but they're not. Our lives are too fast. The way we live them. Job to job, fast food lives, running around with wild schedules, living above our means, with very little "you," time to actually stop and notice change.
That was one thing I found in yoga... I used to snag a very particular spot. Where very few people would pass me and I was near an exit so I could leave quickly. But in this spot, was a view of a tree. in the tree, I'd find an odd ball branch and the furthest leaf. Over time, that became my focus point. As seasons would change, the leaves changing colors and then dropping off, then coming back, it remained my focus point. Stability in change.
The recommendations I listed above, can help you. Why did I list those?
They all have something in common.... I think it can help you get in touch with your body, to remind you to take care of yourself, to remind you how fragile it all is. That we are all just organisms that will eventually die just like the plants in your garden. Our bodies will expire.
I wrote yoga alone because I think yoga in this area and probably throughout the US, has been kidnapped by businesses, stay at home moms, and trendy wannabes. The value has been watered down.
"Hey, dont be a judgey dick!"
I'm not Buddha.
If there is someone running a free or "donation," session on the beach or in a park, yes. Studios w a woman who can't relate to 80% of the people in class? No.
They said "it's ok to make a living."
Not off this.
---
I don't care much about Caitlyn Jenner's decision, but she doesn't deserve the Arthur Ashe award. I personally know 20+ people that show more courage on a daily basis with their career choice than her. I have friends that are police and fire. they literally risk their lives on every single call, every car that's pulled over, every crime they investigate, every home they enter, some dangerous could happen. We take that courage for granted. A 65 yr old, multi-millionaire transitioning from male to female to hide away in his mansion for the last decade or so of his life.... courageous? ok. Comparable to what I listed above? No. Compared to past winners? No chance. Google Jim Valvano, Loretta Claiborne, Dewey Bozella, Muhammad Ali, Billie Jean King, Pat Tillman, and Nelson Mandela. Stop right there... Nelson Mandela and Caitlyn Jenner now have something in common.
Is this real life?
---
Speaking of real life...
Did you know there's more African Americans in jail right now for non-violent crimes than there were slaves?
"Non-violent crimes? So they're drug dealers!"
And first time offenders.
Of selling a "drug," that's been legalized in... how many states now? And on Ohio's ballot this fall. Pay attention to what you're voting for.
Want to see better schools?
Want to see lower taxes?
Want to actually see a government with a gram of common sense?
---
Be nice. Some times people make it hard. Be nice anyway.
---
I heard someone reference "internal inventory," and on my 50 minute drive to work, made me think...
And then in the float tank, it made me day dream...
Internal inventory... what we have inside. Made me think of ourselves like a video game avatar.
"Oooh, my intelligence is only a 63, my looks are a 42, but my bald head is an 88. how can I drive up some ratings? A couple tattoos? Ok... damn, only a 46 and lost 500 credits! bad idea there..."
Actually alot more than 500 credits over the years :)
I do think this little exercise has some value. To objectively look at certain aspects of who we are (tricky question in itself), and analyze and maybe think about improvements. Doesn't even have to be a paper goal like "get a degree, because then I'll be smarter!" but something like "be nicer to people."
Ever play the Sims? And in the game, you could compliment someone and you'd see their mood rise and your relationship would boost. Is there something wrong with using the same thought in real life?
---
And now... pictures I like....
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| Zeus |
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| EW! I just like the character, ok? |
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| Catching some wind |
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| Mean muggin, ready for football season |
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| Could it be a baby pic? And my funny mom added the caption on it? |
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| the day Abby insisted her face wash was in this section (notice the section?) |
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| But she redeemed herself winning the Presidential Award at school |
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| Zeus is also a Fallon fan (and doesn't like people on their phones during TV time) |
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| Brave kids |
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| Went back up for the first time in a while... Never wrote about it. Still cant. I lost something a few years ago... Not sure what it was or where to find it. Here? I only saw skeletons. Every block I walked was a reminder of what once was. Every block was a reminder of the man that built an entire city and college. And I don't think that's an exaggeration. Would Penn State have been? Sure. What it have become what it was? Not a chance. "Eh, you're an obsessed fan, wtf do you know?" 2 things. #1, I studied the man, read every book and article I could ever find. I watched his walk, how and why he cuffed his pants. Why the shoes. Why the "no beard," policy. Watched every piece of film I ever could. I was always so scared I 'd find the flaw, but I never did. So scared they'd eventually go down for cheating on test scores or steroids or covering up a crime, but he never did. People thought his simplicity was BS but it never was. I tried to watch a documentary on NetFlix recently but couldn't get past the first 60 seconds because there he was, talking about how nice it is to see people getting together for a football game. Just a game. If you studied him, you'd see, he never knew what he actually was. He thought he was just a guy, just a dad and husband, just a coach and he never saw what we saw. Win or lose, he never let me down. Even when I thought he was guilty, something deep inside told me, "No way. Not Joe. He cant." And in reading since more of the story has come to light, his innocence has been proven. The second thing I know... every time you make a dumb joke, I'm daydreaming about hurting you :) |
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| Screen saver |
Monday, April 27, 2015
Oh, the things I hear...
Q: "Look, what are we doing?? Is this going to make me a body builder? Am I going to get BIG??"
A: Meeting a trainer once or twice per week isn't going to make you BIG, nor is a well planned program (program means nutrition as well as all elements of training appropriate for your goals). To get BIG, you need to lift in a very specific set/rep scheme for MONTHS while increasing calories.
Q: "So protein wont make me BIG and bulky?"
A: No. Only a designed program with you following it will make you big and bulky. Generically, failing in your sets between 8-12 reps is the sweet spot and like I said above, months on end of this scheme plus taking in an extra 500 calories (ish) of clean nutrients than your body/metabolism is already accustomed to.
The function of proteins is to help the body build an repair, not only your muscles but your hair, skin and internal organs. Proteins are the building block for our entire body and is needed to help keep the body functioning at an optimum level. I share this fact because too many people associate protein with the "BIG and BULKY," feeling.
It's science and facts, not opinions and feelings.
Q: "But I work out, like, a lot, why do I look the same?"
A: Let me see your program.
Q: "I don't have it written down."
A: Then how do you know what you're doing?
Q: "Well I use this machine, then I walk for bit, then I use that machine thingy over there...
A: Anyone can buy a membership, walk in and "work out." If you're actually trying to make changes and see real results in mirror, you need to take it more seriously. We don't say "well... I kinda drove to work..., I pulled out, then I bumped into this, then took a random left turn, then I turned around and pulled over for a bit..." No. We know where we're driving, so we know which streets to take to get there. We have a plan. And even then, sometimes to the plans need to change just as our drive to work might, but remember, just because the plan has to change, doesn't mean the goal does.
I recommend researching personal trainers in your area and purchasing a few sessions to learn a routine, learn how to use the equipment properly and figure out a plan/program.
Q: "Ya Bro, my fricking knees are killing me when I squat, whats up with that?"
A: Let's see your form.
He drops his hips, knees poke out way over his toes, his heels come off the ground, one knee is tweaking out to the side, and he's pretty much bending over.
This didn't actually happen, but I see it CONSTANTLY. I even have a friend that works in an NCAA D1 program and he still tells me how many freshman come in with no clue how to squat (good job HS coaches).
Without going into a 5 paragraph "how to," here's an easy test. Walk up to a wall and place your toes about 1/2 inch away from the wall. Now squat without touching the wall.
Speaking with a local wrestling coach
Q: Yoga? Yeah we did that when we were younger but called it stretching."
A: Never mind the money... I'll come in for free. Here's the bet: No tricks, no gimmicky crap, I bet you more of your guys quit and flop during yoga than they do during your conditioning.
Never heard back from him.
If you say "Yoga's not for me," I'd say you probably don't know what yoga is. If you've never taken a class, you're probably intimidated or worried about "not looking cool." If you have and still say that, I'd bet you were just in the wrong studio, wrong instructor or the wrong you showed up. Even for you tough guys, a decent yoga class can show you many muscular imbalances that can greatly improve your training in the weight room, while improving your flexibility, concentration and overall body strength in many stabilizing muscles you may not be addressing otherwise.
(If I can get 10 power-lifters to join, I'll run a month of free sessions, around your current schedule, for a case study).
A: Meeting a trainer once or twice per week isn't going to make you BIG, nor is a well planned program (program means nutrition as well as all elements of training appropriate for your goals). To get BIG, you need to lift in a very specific set/rep scheme for MONTHS while increasing calories.
Q: "So protein wont make me BIG and bulky?"
A: No. Only a designed program with you following it will make you big and bulky. Generically, failing in your sets between 8-12 reps is the sweet spot and like I said above, months on end of this scheme plus taking in an extra 500 calories (ish) of clean nutrients than your body/metabolism is already accustomed to.
The function of proteins is to help the body build an repair, not only your muscles but your hair, skin and internal organs. Proteins are the building block for our entire body and is needed to help keep the body functioning at an optimum level. I share this fact because too many people associate protein with the "BIG and BULKY," feeling.
It's science and facts, not opinions and feelings.
Q: "But I work out, like, a lot, why do I look the same?"
A: Let me see your program.
Q: "I don't have it written down."
A: Then how do you know what you're doing?
Q: "Well I use this machine, then I walk for bit, then I use that machine thingy over there...
A: Anyone can buy a membership, walk in and "work out." If you're actually trying to make changes and see real results in mirror, you need to take it more seriously. We don't say "well... I kinda drove to work..., I pulled out, then I bumped into this, then took a random left turn, then I turned around and pulled over for a bit..." No. We know where we're driving, so we know which streets to take to get there. We have a plan. And even then, sometimes to the plans need to change just as our drive to work might, but remember, just because the plan has to change, doesn't mean the goal does.
I recommend researching personal trainers in your area and purchasing a few sessions to learn a routine, learn how to use the equipment properly and figure out a plan/program.
Q: "Ya Bro, my fricking knees are killing me when I squat, whats up with that?"
A: Let's see your form.
He drops his hips, knees poke out way over his toes, his heels come off the ground, one knee is tweaking out to the side, and he's pretty much bending over.
This didn't actually happen, but I see it CONSTANTLY. I even have a friend that works in an NCAA D1 program and he still tells me how many freshman come in with no clue how to squat (good job HS coaches).
Without going into a 5 paragraph "how to," here's an easy test. Walk up to a wall and place your toes about 1/2 inch away from the wall. Now squat without touching the wall.
Speaking with a local wrestling coach
Q: Yoga? Yeah we did that when we were younger but called it stretching."
A: Never mind the money... I'll come in for free. Here's the bet: No tricks, no gimmicky crap, I bet you more of your guys quit and flop during yoga than they do during your conditioning.
Never heard back from him.
If you say "Yoga's not for me," I'd say you probably don't know what yoga is. If you've never taken a class, you're probably intimidated or worried about "not looking cool." If you have and still say that, I'd bet you were just in the wrong studio, wrong instructor or the wrong you showed up. Even for you tough guys, a decent yoga class can show you many muscular imbalances that can greatly improve your training in the weight room, while improving your flexibility, concentration and overall body strength in many stabilizing muscles you may not be addressing otherwise.
(If I can get 10 power-lifters to join, I'll run a month of free sessions, around your current schedule, for a case study).
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Devastating Family Home Fire Fund
Very little need for my set up... My opinion is this - We can donate our funds to a corporate charity where we have no clue where that money ends up and probably no actual connection to the recipients OR we can read a story like this and choose to donate a few extra dollars this month to real people that you may actually know, thatI know.
A lot of these accounts are trying to hook someone up with start up money for a business or wedding money or something simple... this one is not that.
Please read Marty's story and lend a hand.
"My name is Marty Kobsik, and this is my family's story and struggle against mental illness and corporate america.
My mother suffers from Mental illness. She has suffered most of her life from manic depression and bi-polarism. Seven and a half years ago my mother had a mental breakdown and took 5 gallons of gasoline to my father's recliner and my sister's bed and set fire to our family home. She walked out and sat in a lawn chair in the front yard and watched the house burn while attempting to take her life by over dosing on the cocktail of medications she was on for various health issues. The fire actually saved her life because help showed up and found her and rushed her to the hospital. We live out in the country and had 13 different small volunteer fire departements come to attempt to save our 150 year old farm house. 3 hours later they put the fire out but the house was a complete loss. My parents insurance company declined to pay the insurance claim due to the fact that my mother was a named insured and it was arson. My father contacted a law firm from Pittsburgh that was referred to us from a family friend and they got our hopes up that we had a great chance of winning a law suit. We all got our hopes up even more when we had a judge agree that the insurance company should pay due to the fact that there was nothing in the insurance policy regarding mental state and that the insurance company should pay. My father cashed out his retirement account and paid every dime of it to this law firm to fight the insurance company, but insurance company having deeper pockets drug outthe suit to the point where he ran out of money and could not afford to fight them anymore after living in limbo for 3 years he had to throw the towel in. My father is 68 now and still working since he spent his entire 401k on lawyer fees. We share an apartment together and for the last 4 years we've been demolishing what was left of the house ourselves and cleaning it up to hopefully start new some day. I have been working and saving in hopes to get a construction loan to rebuild, but in today's economy with my large amounts of student loans, it is almost impossible to get a construction loan. So my best friend suggested I try this. My father and I have worked for everything we have and don't take advantage of "the system". I will rebuild a home on my family's property, my only concern is will he ever get to see it or live there. With all the stress the last 7 years and everything we've been through, I'm not too proud to try this and ask for a little help to get my dad back on the property he raised his 3 children on and would like to spend the remainder of his time on this earth at. So Please, any little help is sooo appreciated and please spread the word and our story. The Insurance company and Law Firm profitted from our misfortune, I feel my family is due a little good luck."
Link here: http://www.gofundme.com/now7sk
A lot of these accounts are trying to hook someone up with start up money for a business or wedding money or something simple... this one is not that.
Please read Marty's story and lend a hand.
"My name is Marty Kobsik, and this is my family's story and struggle against mental illness and corporate america.
My mother suffers from Mental illness. She has suffered most of her life from manic depression and bi-polarism. Seven and a half years ago my mother had a mental breakdown and took 5 gallons of gasoline to my father's recliner and my sister's bed and set fire to our family home. She walked out and sat in a lawn chair in the front yard and watched the house burn while attempting to take her life by over dosing on the cocktail of medications she was on for various health issues. The fire actually saved her life because help showed up and found her and rushed her to the hospital. We live out in the country and had 13 different small volunteer fire departements come to attempt to save our 150 year old farm house. 3 hours later they put the fire out but the house was a complete loss. My parents insurance company declined to pay the insurance claim due to the fact that my mother was a named insured and it was arson. My father contacted a law firm from Pittsburgh that was referred to us from a family friend and they got our hopes up that we had a great chance of winning a law suit. We all got our hopes up even more when we had a judge agree that the insurance company should pay due to the fact that there was nothing in the insurance policy regarding mental state and that the insurance company should pay. My father cashed out his retirement account and paid every dime of it to this law firm to fight the insurance company, but insurance company having deeper pockets drug outthe suit to the point where he ran out of money and could not afford to fight them anymore after living in limbo for 3 years he had to throw the towel in. My father is 68 now and still working since he spent his entire 401k on lawyer fees. We share an apartment together and for the last 4 years we've been demolishing what was left of the house ourselves and cleaning it up to hopefully start new some day. I have been working and saving in hopes to get a construction loan to rebuild, but in today's economy with my large amounts of student loans, it is almost impossible to get a construction loan. So my best friend suggested I try this. My father and I have worked for everything we have and don't take advantage of "the system". I will rebuild a home on my family's property, my only concern is will he ever get to see it or live there. With all the stress the last 7 years and everything we've been through, I'm not too proud to try this and ask for a little help to get my dad back on the property he raised his 3 children on and would like to spend the remainder of his time on this earth at. So Please, any little help is sooo appreciated and please spread the word and our story. The Insurance company and Law Firm profitted from our misfortune, I feel my family is due a little good luck."
Link here: http://www.gofundme.com/now7sk
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Trap door in the sun...
(Just dive in... just start writing.. no clue as to what I'm about to babble, exactly, but I know what its about)
Listening to "You Know You're Right," to help set the tone and help me stay focused... so you should know, in case you're clueless as to the song, this one may not be a feel good story, but not sure.
Unsure because I want to write about a couple taboo topics that are fitting for the date, not Easter, but April 5th.
The day Kurt Cobain (1994) and Layne Staley (2002) died. You'll read "self inflicted gun shot wound," and "heroin overdose," but not depression.
For some reason, saying "I'm depressed," is brushed off, maybe too ourselves in our heads or to whoever we may say it to. We may look in the mirror and think it, eyes may well at times for virtually no reason... we get that ball in our throats, almost feels like a sore throat coming on, and we swallow the words down, wash our face off, put on our "costume," and move along... the costume helps us play the part of "I'm ok!" just as the smile does or the workload or whatever else we do to distract us or anyone looking our way.
Physically, it feels like someone constantly leaning on your back... like the fluids in your body are sluggish and not flowing smoothly... everything feels a little heavier, a little slower, a little less than 100 and we just feel "off." Problem is, it builds momentum and what just felt "off," has snow-balled into a heavier load.
(I need to dive in a little deeper, so I change over to "Nutshell," by Alice in Chains and play it on repeat)
You stop seeing an optimistic "we'll figure this out," outcome in daily situations you once handled.
You doubt yourself in activities you once had confidence.
Listening to "You Know You're Right," to help set the tone and help me stay focused... so you should know, in case you're clueless as to the song, this one may not be a feel good story, but not sure.
Unsure because I want to write about a couple taboo topics that are fitting for the date, not Easter, but April 5th.
The day Kurt Cobain (1994) and Layne Staley (2002) died. You'll read "self inflicted gun shot wound," and "heroin overdose," but not depression.
For some reason, saying "I'm depressed," is brushed off, maybe too ourselves in our heads or to whoever we may say it to. We may look in the mirror and think it, eyes may well at times for virtually no reason... we get that ball in our throats, almost feels like a sore throat coming on, and we swallow the words down, wash our face off, put on our "costume," and move along... the costume helps us play the part of "I'm ok!" just as the smile does or the workload or whatever else we do to distract us or anyone looking our way.
Physically, it feels like someone constantly leaning on your back... like the fluids in your body are sluggish and not flowing smoothly... everything feels a little heavier, a little slower, a little less than 100 and we just feel "off." Problem is, it builds momentum and what just felt "off," has snow-balled into a heavier load.
(I need to dive in a little deeper, so I change over to "Nutshell," by Alice in Chains and play it on repeat)
You stop seeing an optimistic "we'll figure this out," outcome in daily situations you once handled.
You doubt yourself in activities you once had confidence.
You may look to destroy your life and proclaim "I don't deserve what I have."
You look for exits from situations because the depression has given you anxiety about conversations, in with friends, and you hide away. So you stay home and friendships dissolve. You're probably not even productive, you just sit home, over watching television and not taking great care of yourself.
Some people try to medicate with food or alcohol, over-eating or over-drinking, or both... some type of vice appears or escalates that helps you feel a bit of happiness, even if just temporarily, which is where the habits are born... we need to feel happy again. You look to escape from "life."
If un-helped, a few of us tinker down a more dangerous path or more dangerous drugs, maybe prescription pills, maybe heroin or something along those lines and addictions amplify, leading to... to be honest, troubles I've never personally experienced so I can't go on too much here. But if you listened to my podcast with Ben, you heard his money troubles... I think he knows he was real lucky. Others have had more severe troubles, more dangerous situations, and/or death via accidental OD or suicide... you may think "not me," and you may be true, maybe not... but it could definitely be the guy next to you. There's no age requirement, sex, income... Anyone.
I'm 38 and I've had many, many friends. Friends with money, friends with low level jobs, lawyer friends, all over... friends w many relationships, friends with few... you might think "nah, not him/her, they had so much going..." but you cant know. You'd never know. Just as Ben told me what an awesome liar he was at hiding his addictions and everything he was into... and man, right now I get teary eyed just thinking of our talk... because it's so scary, that someone can be right next to us and appear so happy and here, but inside, they're fading, they're hiding, they're in so much real pain... but they smile to give us the "i'm ok," bs.
"Smile when it hurts."
So when they ask for help, or show a sign, you need to start paying attention, dive in and do not let go. They will try to distract you and throw you off the scent. They'll try to hide or run, run after them. Like a wounded dog, they'll bark and bite when you get too close... endure.
They're in a dark place, maybe not as dark as you'd think, but maybe darker, and you would never, never know. It could be right in your face, and you would never know. Work to pull them out, someway, somehow. They might not be on an actual suicidal path, but that doesn't mean their life isn't greatly affected by the thoughts they're having.
You can help someone you know.
If you are the one that needs a hand... show a sign, even if you don't feel strong enough to say it fully... just a look can be the sign, just eye contact.
I believe people can help each other... not talking about Dr.s or medicines, but conversations and moments. You don't have to be a professional, just an ear... Just be present and attentive... That could be all that's needed.
You look for exits from situations because the depression has given you anxiety about conversations, in with friends, and you hide away. So you stay home and friendships dissolve. You're probably not even productive, you just sit home, over watching television and not taking great care of yourself.
Some people try to medicate with food or alcohol, over-eating or over-drinking, or both... some type of vice appears or escalates that helps you feel a bit of happiness, even if just temporarily, which is where the habits are born... we need to feel happy again. You look to escape from "life."
If un-helped, a few of us tinker down a more dangerous path or more dangerous drugs, maybe prescription pills, maybe heroin or something along those lines and addictions amplify, leading to... to be honest, troubles I've never personally experienced so I can't go on too much here. But if you listened to my podcast with Ben, you heard his money troubles... I think he knows he was real lucky. Others have had more severe troubles, more dangerous situations, and/or death via accidental OD or suicide... you may think "not me," and you may be true, maybe not... but it could definitely be the guy next to you. There's no age requirement, sex, income... Anyone.
I'm 38 and I've had many, many friends. Friends with money, friends with low level jobs, lawyer friends, all over... friends w many relationships, friends with few... you might think "nah, not him/her, they had so much going..." but you cant know. You'd never know. Just as Ben told me what an awesome liar he was at hiding his addictions and everything he was into... and man, right now I get teary eyed just thinking of our talk... because it's so scary, that someone can be right next to us and appear so happy and here, but inside, they're fading, they're hiding, they're in so much real pain... but they smile to give us the "i'm ok," bs.
"Smile when it hurts."
So when they ask for help, or show a sign, you need to start paying attention, dive in and do not let go. They will try to distract you and throw you off the scent. They'll try to hide or run, run after them. Like a wounded dog, they'll bark and bite when you get too close... endure.
They're in a dark place, maybe not as dark as you'd think, but maybe darker, and you would never, never know. It could be right in your face, and you would never know. Work to pull them out, someway, somehow. They might not be on an actual suicidal path, but that doesn't mean their life isn't greatly affected by the thoughts they're having.
You can help someone you know.
If you are the one that needs a hand... show a sign, even if you don't feel strong enough to say it fully... just a look can be the sign, just eye contact.
I believe people can help each other... not talking about Dr.s or medicines, but conversations and moments. You don't have to be a professional, just an ear... Just be present and attentive... That could be all that's needed.
Peace, love, empathy,
Immortality by Pearl Jam
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Tools
If you're not into my hippy rants, x out quickly....
Awww, you're still here!!! Thanks for staying!!!
It lingered around on my drive to work and I thought about it more, the root of it all.
Then I went in for one of my "therapy," sessions later that day and thought about it some more and had a fantastic visualization...
I had this view of maybe 12-20 people... I was above the stage but even with the curtain, so I could see the action on the stage as well as what was happening behind... I'd see people out and performing, but when they went behind curtain and out of the bright lights, their bodies and faces changed.
It was like a conveyor belt.... they'd circle around and come out and all these different bodies and shapes and faces and then when they went around back, everyone was the same shape and color and looked the same.
And it made me think deeper about this quote and empathy and how a few moves in one direction or another and we could all switch places, real quick. Our lives are... whatever you just thought, but few moves can change everything. Money can come and go like water. Health can come and go, we think we have a handle but we dont (I knew a 38 vegan triathlete who died of a heart attack last year). Friends and loved ones, jobs, you name it... it can all fade away or triple in volume, we never know. So this quote makes me think of empathy a little more and it caused me to slow down a few notches and treat people a little nicer... and I'm already a super nice guy! (insert smiley emoji). So next time you encounter a grumpy douche or someone who is just rude, maybe give them a little crap to settle them down but also know, they could be you. In a different light, on a different stage, with some different luck or circumstances, that could be you.
On a real tripped out level, it is you.
Buuuuuuuuut...
Part two of where this thought took me was to a "witnessing," gear. I started taking steps backwards and paying attention or reexamining some of the "therapy," I've been through... and I see it all as a tool.
Then I started thinking about this "tool," concept and accessible it all is, if we choose to use them intelligently and with an intent to truly improve ourselves. And this isnt about sales or promos, but my recent massage with Audrey kinda helped get this rolling. What a tool it is, to have such a skilled massage technician (is that the title? I think it fits). I told her the symptoms I felt, she went to work and I'm sooooo much better, so much stronger and more effective in day to day life, its unreal and crazy to ignore. Same can be said for what I do and go through when I see Jared and receive an acupuncture treatment. I tell him whats going on, he makes an assessment and bam, we're off. What a unique tool he offers, to be able to work that magic and heal... with what? Needles, knowledge and my body.
I think those two go very hand in hand.
Same with yoga but it was much more "me," as far as I didnt sit down and have an assessment and then a pro went to work on me... it was me going to work on me, which is a f'n incredible tool to tap into, even for just that one brief moment, someone calls a breakthrough. Those "ah-ha," moments. Yes, as a tool, its used for whatever we choose. But yoga and Buddhism always went hand in hand for me and has many branches of tools circulating, such as meditation and body awareness, so... it is what it is.
But then to pause our life-game and look at ourselves like a... wild, dynamic, alien monkey with this incredible computer brain that we really dont know much about... and looking at our lives and all these tools surrounding us. Classes to learn, music to inspire or relax or motivate, social media to reach and share, computers to expand and grow our "database," nutrition to heal and improve...
I think too often, we go monday-tuesday-wednesday-thursday-friday-saturday-saunday-weekweekweekweekmonthmonthmonthyearyearyear oh shit, I'm 38... what have I done w my time?
When this question pops in your head, its a good thing, even if it temporarily makes you sad or depressed. Because the questioning, hopefully, makes you start to see tools around you and start getting to work on....
---
Be useful, Be helpful, Be a Tool!!!
That would look nice on my stone :)
Awww too cryptic? Just wait til my next blog on April 5 (thats a hint, free hug if you text me the topic)
Sunday, March 1, 2015
He said/she said
(laptop was down so I pulled up the app and started writing random thoughts to finish once my laptop is back, which it is)
So I'm texting w/ a friend...
We're going back and forth about meeting up to workout and all that. He says his workouts are ok, wants to introduce more of what I like to do and his nutrition is solid... back and forth, back and forth and eventually we come to an agreement that its the MRS in our homes that tank it for us! (that's right and i guarantee every guy reading this agrees!)
So my question, what is it with dairy? Everything can be rolling along just fine then BAM, "someone," needs cheese and sour cream. Why? I often say no cheese because I don't really taste it and don't see the benefit of having it (other than mexican).
------------------------------
Me and my daughters are driving through a parking lot, looking for a Redbox. As we drive, a car comes up the wrong way, cuts us off and "steals," a spot we were pretty clearly moving towards. Talk about yoga being a great tool for life? Do you know how hard it was for me to not roll a window down (imagine manual windows) and rip this person up? Holy moly. Instead, i used it as a teaching tool as what kind of person to not be.
Somehow these lessons followed us around. As we walked in, two boys about 25 were in front of us. They opened the door and stepped... think they held a door for a 10 year old girl or the old man (me)? Nope.
THEN we're driving home and another car pulls in front of us at a red light like we werent even there. It was a drive way where I would've let the person out anyway, once we made eye contact and a wave so they could see I wasn't moving anymore. I eventually just told the girls that there was a crazy virus in air turning everyone into rude, mannerless monsters and we need to get home before we catch it.
Yes, they know I'm an idiot w analogies but jeez... Maybe it was the day or something, but I'm starting to wonder if this weather is turning people into assholes.
-----------------------------
So I'm texting w/ a friend...
We're going back and forth about meeting up to workout and all that. He says his workouts are ok, wants to introduce more of what I like to do and his nutrition is solid... back and forth, back and forth and eventually we come to an agreement that its the MRS in our homes that tank it for us! (that's right and i guarantee every guy reading this agrees!)
So my question, what is it with dairy? Everything can be rolling along just fine then BAM, "someone," needs cheese and sour cream. Why? I often say no cheese because I don't really taste it and don't see the benefit of having it (other than mexican).
------------------------------
Me and my daughters are driving through a parking lot, looking for a Redbox. As we drive, a car comes up the wrong way, cuts us off and "steals," a spot we were pretty clearly moving towards. Talk about yoga being a great tool for life? Do you know how hard it was for me to not roll a window down (imagine manual windows) and rip this person up? Holy moly. Instead, i used it as a teaching tool as what kind of person to not be.
Somehow these lessons followed us around. As we walked in, two boys about 25 were in front of us. They opened the door and stepped... think they held a door for a 10 year old girl or the old man (me)? Nope.
THEN we're driving home and another car pulls in front of us at a red light like we werent even there. It was a drive way where I would've let the person out anyway, once we made eye contact and a wave so they could see I wasn't moving anymore. I eventually just told the girls that there was a crazy virus in air turning everyone into rude, mannerless monsters and we need to get home before we catch it.
Yes, they know I'm an idiot w analogies but jeez... Maybe it was the day or something, but I'm starting to wonder if this weather is turning people into assholes.
-----------------------------
I'm reading this new book on "tapping into your talent..." which I need to find first, anyway, but the first chapter said "Stare at your role model." Study how they walk and talk... Study how they move and their body language....
This immediately depressed me.... actually had to put the book away and pull it together before heading out to train some clients.
If you've been reading this longer than 6 months or so, you know my role model passed away on January 22, 2012 and I've been a real wimp about it all since. Probably in a pretty unhealthy way too. Setting football season aside, I can try to imagine he's still alive and I've been working on the whole "energy," thought from my last blog, that's been helpful... but I cant help but get super emotional about it.
Is it ok for your role model to be gone?
Someone text me "Hey i liked the energy stuff, especially for music." He got it. Thinking of Jimi Hendrix, he's gone but the music still lives, so he's still here.
Just hard to do when thinking about someone a little closer than a rock god from the 40 some years ago.
--------------------------------
Another friend text "Hey man, I need something positive."
My first thought was "shit... what do i have?" Not often that happens where its requested, usually it just slips out at a good time.
But i'm flipping through instagram and then the onnit page and then i see Joe Rogan, who is a bit of an inspiration these days. Yup, the ole Fear Factor guy. He's a but more than a comedian and UFC commentator, you should check out his podcast, preferably one with Aubrey Marcus, Graham Hancock, Alex Grey, Neil Degrasse (spelling).
Anyway, the quote was "Write down 3 things you want to improve. Write down 3 things you wont tolerate from yourself. Write down 3 things you never want to see yourself do again." So 5 days later, this was my advice.
Improve
1 My overall health
2 My level of education
3 Relationships w family and friends
Things I wont tolerate from myself
1 Cutting corners (laziness)
2 Being involved in gossip
3 Accepting less than I deserve
Things i never want to see myself do
1 Beat myself up over things i truly cant control
2 Accepting anything but the life i see myself living
3 I never want to see myself not being a person of my word
(nice exercise, I'll expand in a future blog)
-----------------------------------
Another friend once text "I just want to teach yoga... somewhere off in Colorado... build a nice studio with state of the art heating system and towels for everyone... a scenic view (and I swear, as I'm reading this, I start to hear Kurt Cobains guiter puking all over this)... a scenic view looking out into the woods..." and on and on.
My thought was "how easy."
I want yoga where it's needed. Schools, cities, i want it in a factory.
I want it to go back where it belongs, before stay at home moms and poshy little studios turned it into a fad and something to brag about on girls night.
I want it organic and real, taught by lifes warriors, people who are living and grinding, battling and surviving. i want it here one minute and gone the next.... it'll taste better that way.
Counting on it never leaving? it'll be taken for granted.
I see it like art and like life. That was 8100. It was never built to last forever, it was supposed to come and go. It means more.
------------------------------------
I said
I dont see life as a path, a thin line heading in one direction or even zig zagging.... I see us circular. Like a merry-go-round. We come and go, we see things and move and see new things and move, then maybe we see it all over again, but different.
Like a wheel, and we're in the center. We steer it and head into a direction, but so does everyone. Think of the people who have come and gone in your life... then they come back and go again and on and on... are you headed down the same path? Maybe, maybe not.
Is it because we attract events and circumstances? Maybe, maybe not.
Maybe we're on a ride... and if we acknowledged it, we'd be having a little more fun and things would be better.
---------------------------------
She said
i finally did it!
And I thought... this is what we all need, to push ourselves, every single day. One day might be mental, one day might be physical, one day might be everything and completely overwhelming... but this is how we grow and evolve and I dont think theres much more important that doing just that.
Training is the obvious analogy to growth.
Whats your weakness in life? Where do you want to improve? what are you plans to work on it? How else can you grow? To be full? Like what I wrote above... its a ride... and what I wrote above that, it'll come and go. So while you're on the ride, be great.
Motivation? just that. Be great. how? work at it.
Whats your "it?" how will you know?
you already do. Stop talking yourself out of "it."
i want to travel more.
i want to see more live music.
i want to experience cultures and see everything.
how? i'll work to make it happen.
dont be stagnant.
go back to school if you need. I'm about to be 38... but I'm also a sophomore. and it doesnt bother me at all, it actually excites me. because soon, i'll be a junior and then a senior and then guess what? Dreams turn into reality.
and then maybe I'll be ok to keep staring at photos of my role model and get back to working on that dream
This immediately depressed me.... actually had to put the book away and pull it together before heading out to train some clients.
If you've been reading this longer than 6 months or so, you know my role model passed away on January 22, 2012 and I've been a real wimp about it all since. Probably in a pretty unhealthy way too. Setting football season aside, I can try to imagine he's still alive and I've been working on the whole "energy," thought from my last blog, that's been helpful... but I cant help but get super emotional about it.
Is it ok for your role model to be gone?
Someone text me "Hey i liked the energy stuff, especially for music." He got it. Thinking of Jimi Hendrix, he's gone but the music still lives, so he's still here.
Just hard to do when thinking about someone a little closer than a rock god from the 40 some years ago.
--------------------------------
Another friend text "Hey man, I need something positive."
My first thought was "shit... what do i have?" Not often that happens where its requested, usually it just slips out at a good time.
But i'm flipping through instagram and then the onnit page and then i see Joe Rogan, who is a bit of an inspiration these days. Yup, the ole Fear Factor guy. He's a but more than a comedian and UFC commentator, you should check out his podcast, preferably one with Aubrey Marcus, Graham Hancock, Alex Grey, Neil Degrasse (spelling).
Anyway, the quote was "Write down 3 things you want to improve. Write down 3 things you wont tolerate from yourself. Write down 3 things you never want to see yourself do again." So 5 days later, this was my advice.
Improve
1 My overall health
2 My level of education
3 Relationships w family and friends
Things I wont tolerate from myself
1 Cutting corners (laziness)
2 Being involved in gossip
3 Accepting less than I deserve
Things i never want to see myself do
1 Beat myself up over things i truly cant control
2 Accepting anything but the life i see myself living
3 I never want to see myself not being a person of my word
(nice exercise, I'll expand in a future blog)
-----------------------------------
Another friend once text "I just want to teach yoga... somewhere off in Colorado... build a nice studio with state of the art heating system and towels for everyone... a scenic view (and I swear, as I'm reading this, I start to hear Kurt Cobains guiter puking all over this)... a scenic view looking out into the woods..." and on and on.
My thought was "how easy."
I want yoga where it's needed. Schools, cities, i want it in a factory.
I want it to go back where it belongs, before stay at home moms and poshy little studios turned it into a fad and something to brag about on girls night.
I want it organic and real, taught by lifes warriors, people who are living and grinding, battling and surviving. i want it here one minute and gone the next.... it'll taste better that way.
Counting on it never leaving? it'll be taken for granted.
I see it like art and like life. That was 8100. It was never built to last forever, it was supposed to come and go. It means more.
------------------------------------
I said
I dont see life as a path, a thin line heading in one direction or even zig zagging.... I see us circular. Like a merry-go-round. We come and go, we see things and move and see new things and move, then maybe we see it all over again, but different.
Like a wheel, and we're in the center. We steer it and head into a direction, but so does everyone. Think of the people who have come and gone in your life... then they come back and go again and on and on... are you headed down the same path? Maybe, maybe not.
Is it because we attract events and circumstances? Maybe, maybe not.
Maybe we're on a ride... and if we acknowledged it, we'd be having a little more fun and things would be better.
---------------------------------
She said
i finally did it!
And I thought... this is what we all need, to push ourselves, every single day. One day might be mental, one day might be physical, one day might be everything and completely overwhelming... but this is how we grow and evolve and I dont think theres much more important that doing just that.
Training is the obvious analogy to growth.
Whats your weakness in life? Where do you want to improve? what are you plans to work on it? How else can you grow? To be full? Like what I wrote above... its a ride... and what I wrote above that, it'll come and go. So while you're on the ride, be great.
Motivation? just that. Be great. how? work at it.
Whats your "it?" how will you know?
you already do. Stop talking yourself out of "it."
i want to travel more.
i want to see more live music.
i want to experience cultures and see everything.
how? i'll work to make it happen.
dont be stagnant.
go back to school if you need. I'm about to be 38... but I'm also a sophomore. and it doesnt bother me at all, it actually excites me. because soon, i'll be a junior and then a senior and then guess what? Dreams turn into reality.
and then maybe I'll be ok to keep staring at photos of my role model and get back to working on that dream
Never mind school for a sec... Look at the list you wrote above... What's the plan to a better...?
To never...?
To not allow yourself to...?
dont give up
i know its hard.
Life has a way of f'ing us up sometimes... but pause and think of it as a challenge, something knew i read. "A warrior doesnt see good or bad, hard or easy, just challenges," and in the challenge is the lesson.
these lessons and challenges mold us. who will you become?
it really is our own choice
dont give up
i know its hard.
Life has a way of f'ing us up sometimes... but pause and think of it as a challenge, something knew i read. "A warrior doesnt see good or bad, hard or easy, just challenges," and in the challenge is the lesson.
these lessons and challenges mold us. who will you become?
it really is our own choice
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