Monthly Mix Tape

New MOOD by Onnit

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Who's the Crazy Guy Talking To Himself at CVS?

We'd end a session and hours later receive a text, something like "Good workout, thanks."  My reply would usually be "Strong Work!" and something else about the session.
Then I dropped of some free passes to a friend who started her own business and it was kinda cool walking out and seeing her name on the front.  I sent a text a while later, "Strong work..."

Stepping through a barrier, like an invisible curtain, we see a goal or a vision and we wonder, "Can I...?"
"Can I Step through?"

And if you do, when you do, when any of us decide to, we can turn around and look back at what was, peaking back through the curtain we walked through to become who we currently are, and have new perspective.  A new line of vision, an experience.

Maybe that's the curtain, experience.  You have to go through it to have the vision.

For anyone brave enough to change their momentum, to risk  what they think they have, to gamble with their heart... strong work.  None of it is easy and no one can know you're path and feel what you feel but you.

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I was standing in line at a CVS, waiting on a woman in front of me to be taken care of by the cashier.  It was a bit busy, seemed a touch under-staffed, when an employee came frantically shuffling in, "I'm here!  I'm here!," apparently late.  She then raised her candy proclaiming "I walked in with this, I am not buying it here, this is mine!  This is mine!"
And a couple things about her behavior sent me into spectator mode, but nothing more than hearing someone yell "This is mine!"
It sounded childish.
Then I started talking to myself...

Why is that childish?
Well, who yells like that?
Maybe she was in trouble once for taking candy.
No, who yells something is theirs?
Oh, here we go... 
Nothing is yours.
Please stop...
Well, it's true.  Think about it.
I'm really, really tired of thinking about it.
Well, just know nothing is yours.
Nothing?  Really?
Just your consciousness.
And mind.
Eh, depends.  Some people have one but lend it out to others, so
So this is... a bullshit conversation.
Say what you like.  Our bodies are on rental, just as our minds.  When we go, what's "ours?"
So how do you know our consciousness continues?
Don't-don't, don't bother answering, I've had enough!


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"What do you want for Christmas?"
Might be immaturity, might be an obsession, might be boring, might be nerdy, but my answer hasn't changed in 25 years.
"Anything Pearl Jam or Penn State," and we can add Star Wars as well, I recvd a really nice Storm Trooper bee coozy this year.

This year, when anyone asked what I asked for, I hesitated because my first answer was "Time."
How can I receive more time?
Yes, bills are important so I need money, but I really need time.
You know when you play a video game and you can drive the car over that "15 SECS," marker and BAM, you added 15 bonus seconds to your score?  That's what I was looking for.
Maybe its being 39 or maybe its that I've walked through a good handful of those mystery curtain I referenced up top... but to have control of seconds would be a wonderful super power.  To turn it back, to add to it, to make changes, to see more clearly... ultimate mindfulness with clarity of space and time.... sounds like  float tank experience actually.

That curtain idea... there's something there.  Walking through, looking back, cleaning off, being new, everything that curtain can do, it gives perspective on time.

I wonder, its about to be 2017, what kind of culture are we now?
What kind of tribe am I near?
Are our eyes looking up or down?  Are we optimistic?  Or scared?
Are we still looking externally for answers?
That's the great irony of my job, right?  
Sooooo many people have come to me requesting to be changed on the outside, 
(and I fully respect the clients wishes), but you know my aim is internal.  

It's an inside job... but who is still sleep walking through this thing thinking their time is unlimited?  Again, the beauty of time is we'll never see our clock.  It really is the joy of life and acceptance of death, right?  Isn't that why we're searching for our lives have purpose?  Or supposed to be?
My purpose... Sometimes I don't know because it seems secondary.  I'm not the guy, but I might be the guy that's going to inspire thee guy, to make the great shit happen.  I like that.

Someone sent a pic the other day that read something like "A coach will effect more lives in one year than most will their entire lives."
At first I blew it off "Eh, none of this is that big," but then I stopped talking to myself like an asshole and accepted it.  Yes, its true and pretty f'n awesome.  I saw it like a pyramid, and I'm no where near the top, I'm deep in the middle.  With anyone who inspired me, touching me and then me passing it on and then they pass something on and so on.  And we're all a part of this breathing, living, organism of inspiration and positivity... That's pretty wild to think of, right?  So the more connected I am, the more aware I am, the better I am, the better the soil and seed.  And we all have that.  We all have that possibility.  We all have our own avenues to spread what we feel is important.  I spread my thing, you spread yours, if its all good stuff, then its all good stuff and we all win.   Sound good?  When everyone's successful, everyone's successful, we don't need to find for sun shine, there's plenty for everyone.  And I don't need a payback.  I don't need an IOU.  I just need you to keep passing it along.  Whatever someone does for you, your debt is to anyone you ever touch, not just the guy who gave you $10.  Right?  Someone hooks me up, I owe him and than anyone near me, it's energy.
You light me up, I'm not going to hog the light, I'm going to share it w you and you and you.