I don't really do New Years resolutions, but not for the typical douchy "Should've been working on the goals in November!" or "Why wait for date on a calendar to change?" reason... But kinda for those reasons. All in all, whatever works for you and helps curve that momentum to start working for you.
See, I'm not into resolution's and drastic changes. I have a funny feeling we can google some stats on that and see the numbers aren't very favorable.
Does that mean we're screwed??? It's New Years Day for Gods sake!
My recommendation, don't make any wild, life changing resolutions, until you do a couple things first.
1) Internal Inventory & Assessment
I'll use myself as the example here. There are some things I'm targeting, but I don't have dates on them. They are goals I have for... now, I guess. It's not an "Accomplish goal x by 4/1/17," kinda thing but more of a life work thing, so its what I work towards everyday. But the finality, the end result, there isnt a date.
In the past, I've freaked out. I've panicked, I've quit, I've looked for excuses or reasons for coming up short, and I've failed and felt sorry for myself.
So I know to reach my goals, those are the things I need to work on. I need to work on my overall patience and trust failure. You'll read all day on motivational pics on instagram, how valuable failing really is and everyone who's ever succeeded, has failed. Many, many times.
It's ok to blow it, as long as you learn.
So when I write about the internal inventory & assessment, thats the analysis needed to make sure you reach the goal you have inside. You can say "I'm going to start at the gym and lose 25lbs by March," and it's a really solid goal, but if you don't have the tools inside to keep that commitment, you will fail.
Sit down with a pen and paper and write your own pros and cons, as if you are your own boss or coach, this is something I do ALL the time. I have a voice in my head, a friendly coach, who honestly critiques my work and behavior, pros and cons. To grow and move forward, we have to find ways to be honest with ourselves and we cant blame external forces or circumstances for everything. Can we get screwed? Sure, that can happen. But there's also room for personal ownership even in that.
Go through your strengths and weaknesses before setting the new years goals. Identifying these will help you recognize issues and possible resistance within, or self sabatoge. Or you may end up finding bigger goals inside and see how well equipped you are to take on more. Maybe you have a business plan inside or a book, and with a some tweaks in time management (watching tv or playing with your phone), you can free up an extra hour per day to get after that plan. And 1 hour per day... do that math (times 7, times 30, times 12.. that's a lot of free time).
My inside work right, I'm working on patience with myself. Not just being more patient as a person, but actually towards myself. I have habits of beating the shit out of myself if things dont go as planned or a vision falls short. I need to be better at massaging those external forces to work with my path and to continue moving, despite set backs.
2) External Inventory & Assessment
Once you have that internal list taken care of, check out the outside, but dont lean too heavy here. We all know getting things done is an inside job, however, seeds grow best in great, healthy soil. When we want to plant a garden, if we want to reap the benefits of the seeds, we take care of the soil first. We rototill, we remove weeds and and clay, we make sure our area is planned out well so there is plenty of sun shine and the plants are damaging each other. Right? So as we head out on our journey through life, we need to make sure we treat ourselves the exact same way. We will not grow fully in bad soil with limited sunshine. Will we grow? Sure, but not as full and beautiful as we could have or should have, had we taken the steps and been brave enough to put in the work early.
Do you have friends or family members planting weeds in your mind or trying to keep you in the shade? You know what to do. Start treating yourself with the same advice you'd give your best friend or a child.
Exercise: Write a letter to yourself. Address it as "Dear _______, I've been noticing...." and just write. What do you want to see yourself do to feel better or to live better? Offer that advice right here and become your own best friend and life coach.
As above, so below. As in, so is out. As you read those two sections, you may have seen how they'll cross over into each other and maybe you already started the self talk and analyzing. Maybe you started thinking of where things will be difficult, that's ok. See it as a challenge for yourself. When you know you're headed towards one of your perceived weaknesses, get excited for it and lock in, focus. You may find the weakness wasn't really a weakness, but more of a lack of experience. After a few rounds with this foe, you may find its really a strength.
If anything, adjust your momentum. You really don't need to make any bold proclamations and go nuts. Just push the energy in a direction, recognize it, commit to it and enjoy it. Think about momentum. Let that be a word in place of habit.
Along those lines of momentum, inventory and assessment, self coaching, etc. be very mindful of self talk. Know that what you say out-loud, to yourself, whether emotions or opinions, whatever it may be, it will manifest internally and become something. Feelings are not facts. They come and go and they're moody. They might be real, but they might be total bullshit too. So be careful with what you say you love or hate, who you feel what for, on and on, you know what it is.
----------------
Last week, I resigned with my old office, the Howard Hanna branch in town and I'm pretty excited about it. Really only touching on here, not as an ad (but DEFINITELY call me asap to go touring!) but more about this self talk.
I've been an agent for a couple years now, and set my license aside for about a year, telling myself things like "it's not me," or "they wont believe this is me," and weird bs like that. I was sticking myself in a box, all in my own head. Apparently, being in the gym is believable, or working shipping/receiving somewhere is believable, but not being an excellent real estate agent... pretty weird. I remember psyching myself out when I'd have to meet someone selling their home, already thinking "they're going to think I'm a dumb meat head." Why?!?! Look how weird that even reads. I remember one day, I was meeting a man who was selling his home and I wanted to represent him. I literally remember pulling in and making eye contact and thinking "He knows I'm a f'n personal trainer," and the deal never happened.
The deal never happened because my confidence was trash and my self doubt was incredibly high and for no reason at all. I crushed my state and federal exams. Knew the info so well, I didn't even have to read the full question before knowing the answer. The knowledge was there, the processes were there, what was the hang up? Belief and confidence because I had terrible self talk and sabotaged myself.
So this was something I always knew I had in my back pocket and could go back to one, something I very much wanted to do. I truly enjoy real estate business. It's fun, its constant, its always interesting, and most importantly, you are serving people and improving lives.
The last thought should've been my #1 all along. Because it hit me last week... whats the difference when I walk into a gym vs a home? Meeting a new gym member vs meeting someone who wants to buy or sell a home?
Zero.
I was listening to an audio book recently and I forget the President that was referenced, but this was back in 30's or 40's, and a media member was interviewing the President and he referenced that the President came from a family of laborers. the intent of the reference was to highlight this media members idea of "He's a laborer, what could he know about being a President?" The President replied "Yes, with a great reputation for impeccable workmanship, attention to detail, punctual delivery and unquestionable work ethic."
In essence, how you do anything is how you do everything. I know of my reputation as a trainer and coach and its not because I've discovered a new range of motion in the human body, but because of how I take care of people. My customer service, my communication, my work ethic to see them (the client) meet x goal, those are the things that make a great trainer and have and will continue to guide me through a very successful real estate career.
