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Sunday, January 15, 2017

Getaway


Everyone's a critic looking back up the river

Every boat is leaking in this town 
Everybody's thinking that they'll all be delivered
Sitting in a box like lost and found


I was having a conversation w a friend who... well... was on some psychedelics.  I asked him what happened, what he felt, on and on.  
His memory was spotty for details but was really confident in the feelings he came out with.   He said "I don't remember exactly, but it felt like I was in a foggy space, but it wasn't foggy... like a dream, you know but you don't know... and I kept bumping into "myself."  Every time I tried to move, versions of "myself," bumped into me and slowed me down."
I thought this was extremely insightful.  Now, I'm no specialist on psychedelia, but if this is the type of insight and knowledge you walk away with... I'm impressed.  He then said it made him feel more confident because he felt it was a direct analogy to his life and things he's done relating to every aspect of life.  He continually got in his own way.  Once he saw it from this angle, it the issues became clear.   Reminded me of one of the opening scenes in The Doors movie where they quoted William Blake, “If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite."



But I found my place and it's alright
We all searching for our better way 
Got yours off my plate, it's alright
I got my own way to believe

Kinda going through some transitions and seeing some things from new and different angles.  All rooted in experience I guess, which really can cover anything, so that's kind of a wimpy way of writing it.  But you do have to go through a particular curtain to find a new angle.  Right now, I just feel a very strong pull to get as far away from any negative energy as possible.  Even being near an ego with bad intentions bugs me.  Almost like sitting near a racist.  You how you know one, but you sure don't sit with him at lunch or share ideas.  You're just not on the same "team," right?  Same thing here.  I feel their greedy little wicked ego and I move my seat.

Find a lighthouse in the dark stormy weather

We all could use a sedative right now
Holy rollers sittin with their backs to the middle 
All hands on deck, sinking is the bow

I was doing some people watching... wondering how much of life they enjoyed or enjoy.. did they, are they capitalizing?  Did they, are they, making the most of it?
Or did they go into debt?
Did they work 20 years at a job they hated?
Did they/do they travel?
Did they/do they have any goals?
Did they/do they experience this?
Or did it/does it whip they asses?
Not judging, wondering.  Because I'm actually wondering about myself.  Am I a passenger or driver?  I wonder all the time.  And when the wonder creeps in, I grab the wheel and turn it, hard.  Just to prove to myself I still can and this is not a dream.  It might be a moment, it might be a really fast 80 years or 40, but its an opportunity to find pleasure and enjoyment and that's why we are here.
We are not here to be a part in this countries economy, that's just a crazy game we all play.  Real life monopoly.  We don't have to, we choose to.  I'm on team ENJOY LIFE.  Whatever that may be, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.  I can do anything I want to.  So can you.  Sounds so brave at a keyboard, sitting at kitchen table, but its true.  You just to, we all just have to fight the fears.

And if you wanna have to pray, it's alright

We all be thinking with our different brains
Get yours off my plate, it's alright
I got my own way to believe

WE have to fight the fears and panic and anxiety, right?  The come along, they creep in like a storm.  One drop of water hits the windshield and we go "ah, shit, looks like rain," and then it comes.  Thats panic and anxiety.  We see it coming and we have choices. We can try to take shelter and wait for it pass safely, or we drive straight into it at 100mph and crash or recognize it for what it is... our own minds.  If this were a movie, this is where I'd freeze the rain drop right in front of the camera....
The fear/panic/anxiety is created by our own minds and we can control it.  Again, not being the know it all behind the lap top, but I have struggled with this immensely and still o to a degree.  I've psyched myself out of a lot of things.  But read it again.  I HAVE psyched MYSELF OUT of a lot of things.  I take ownership.  I did it to myself.  No one gave me the fear, I scared myself.  No one said anything to make me panic, I made up a worst case scenario and fell apart.
Lesson learned.  Now I see a storm coming, I pause or try to, and think "How funny."

It's ok

Sometimes you find yourself 
Having to put all your faith
In no faith 
Mine is mine, and yours won't take its place
Now make your getaway

True story.  I was walking through a business and noticed a light was on that didn't need to be, so I turned it off.
Someone asked, "why did you do that?"
I said "why not?"
They said "you don't pay the bill."
So what?  
If you see something to do, do it. Do the right thing.  If someone has a blinker on, let them in, why not?  Why bother building this asshole mentality?  someone behind you in line with 1-8 items or so and you have a cart full, let them in.  Hold a door for someone.  Over tip.  Be extra nice to the cashiers at the grocery store or gas station.  Why not?  Why not put energy into being nice and helpful and combat the negative?


Science says we're making love like the lizards

Try and say that fossils ain't profound
Simon says that we are not allowed to consider
Simon says "Stand-up. Sit-down. You're out!"

A guy said "we thought you were going crazy," in regards to my resent posts. 
I laughed but thought just the opposite.  Crazy compared to this?  It could look that way.  I think its rather un-crazy though.  
The difference, to me, between crazy and un-crazy, is fear.  Crazy is scared shitless.  Crazy is afraid to lose and fail.  Crazy is attached to things that arent theirs.  
I dont have those fears. 


But I found my place, and it's alright

Bearing witness to some stranger days 
Get yours off my plate, it's alright
I got my own ways to believe

How to go un-crazy.... takes a long, long time.  You have to screw up a lot.  You have to buy in and then gamble it all and lose. Then buy in again.  You have to see birth and death.  You have to go to the bottom and then find a way out, alone.  You have to see time is not linear, but circular.  
And do it over and over, like washing the Doors of Perception and everything will appear as it is, Infinite.