I was in the process of updating my website, something that is always a challenge for me. What's too personal? What should look more professional? How much information is the right amount of information?
How much of myself is too much?
I thought, Keep It Simple. Be straight forward, and just start creating... something I haven't done in a little while.
I walked away a few years ago. If you're reading this, good chance you saw the video. I left training and football, mostly because of my daughters. There was an energy flow as well, a bit of a "leak," where it went away and I struggled to keep the cup full and revving hot like I like it. So if its not hot, add in the need to see more of my daughters events, walking away from those 2 things felt like a nice relief.
I went all in on that (walking away). People talked to me about fitness and health, I played dumb. People would ask what I do or what I've been doing... "I work for a manufacturing company, real estate in the evenings and weekends." It was kind of fun to hear how people talk and the things they wonder about involving health, nutrition, movement, etc., and just sit there listening, nodding, maybe telling them to google a question. I wasn't being an asshole, I just unplugged that part of my brain. "What gym should my wife join?" was about the only question/topic that elevated my heart rate (the answer is Titans or Hambden Health & Fitness).
Little by little, drip by drip, things started happening around me. More conversations were near me, I ignored them less. Jumped in and answered a few questions. It felt good. I still let it slide though, thought back to who I used to be... even said that same line out loud to friends, "trying to find who I used to be," because he seemed to not be present.
Drips kept coming. And coming. Little by little, I involved myself and answered more questions, gave more info and it felt really good again. It felt good to be useful. It felt good to have the words to ignite the light inside someone else's head to make them go ah haaa. I could feel some of that energy start to circulate again.
I started looking around the room differently.
Thank you Covid. You and your puppets have said all the right things. Covid truth and the puppets lies has been what I needed to reignite the energy inside the darkness.
Since my mom passed, the darkness has been a strange place for me. I didn't hate it. I liked "disappearing." Again, my previous writings give this context, and my thoughts on a living suicide are part of this idea, because that's what I did, or tried to do.
I read a quote after Conor McGregors last lost from Tim Grover. "He was exposed by the limelight and never found his way back to true darkness that had allowed him to win." Two things in this got my attention. 1) This guy, Tim Grover, knows the darkness the way I like it. 2) Tim Grover was my very first training inspiration way back when WebTv came around.. think about that year.
I "dogboned," one day (I believe that's what the search engine was called, long before you could google), Michael Jordans workout, because I didn't know shit. I knew I wanted to train like an athlete and I wanted to train athletes. Tim Grover popped up, along with the workout routine he ran MJ through, free on the internet. So the timing of seeing Grover again on IG after many years passed, writing what he wrote, then I read the books on his mindset, I knew, I know, its a door I have to step back through.
It's where I live. It's where I come alive.
The darkness of Covid woke me up. Seeing all these people relinquish the trust of their own bodies, it reminded me of my mom. All this trust to a system that needs you sick in order to continue their way of profit and life.
Just like her.
I am not anti-vax, I'm not anti science in anyway. I'm pro truth. Pro-logic. Pro-facts. Don't misread me and project your own feelings on the words I wrote. This situation has highlighted the level of lack of education in our own human bodies. People that are chowing on potato chips, yelling at the tv, telling healthy 20 year olds to get a shot kinda blows my mind. Its not a planet I want to live on but I'm not on Elons space ship yet. So like Gandhi said "Be the change," lets roll.
Are some shots good? Yep.
Know what's real good? Cardio. Lifting weights. Yoga. Walking in the park. Getting sunshine. Hanging with your friends. Reading books. Breathing heavy.
Know what's bad? Limiting your oxygen intake. NOT being in the sun. Stressing about money and jobs and gas prices.
Know what boosts your immune system? Movement. Walking. Eating vegetables. Sunshine.
Know what's bad for your immune system? Giving a fuck about your social media feed. Sitting on the couch too much. Staying inside. Limiting oxygen with undies over your nose and mouth.
I've written it 100x 100 different ways. It was in the Power Programs, it was on the fields and in the yoga studios. It came out of my mouth daily. You have the tools inside of yourself. You just have to flip the switches and get after it.
I can help you make that happen.
