Everlong

 I read...

...and I sat in my driveway and thought about this for a while.  

Don't Lie to Yourself

 I've had a lot of things on my mind lately that seem too... maybe uncomfortable, to bring up.  

I've wondered who else is thinking things I'm thinking, so that can be a thing to be concerned about... not knowing a safe place to camp out for a night, you know?   

I don't want to set this up much but please read it with a clear mind, not trying to project your own ideas.  Or maybe read it multiple times from a variety of angles... not sure... not really sure how its all about to come out either... but i hope if you're a man reading this, it opens up an idea or thought or avenue to communicate.  If you're a female, I hope it offers even a little insight and maybe an avenue to ask different questions or know when to say when.. sorry if it gets abstract, I'll try not to

so here goes...

I've had this thing on my mind and men are super weird about diving into it but I can see it all over their body language.  I hear it in the timing in between the words.  I hear it in the exhale.  I see it in the posture, even if you think your chest and chin are up.  It's in the silence.  The extra long eye contact where there are some words sitting in there, but you wont say them until I reach in and grab them.   

I know this because I have them too.  

Here's some bullshit...   Men aren't supposed to have anxiety.  Men don't get depressed.  Suck it up, man up, move on.   Deal w it.  Get tough already.   You can't sit in a room and not talk, people think you're weird.   What do you have to deal with?  Boys don't cry. 

A "friend," text me once a few years ago, said he knew I was "off."   I said "thanks man, just dealing with some depression..."   Response:  "suck it up, lets go."  I don't blame him, he doesn't/didn't know, but I never engaged in a conversation like that again.  I responded, "all good, I'm on it."    If you know what I know, you don't respond "suck it up," you respond "lets meet up... when are you free next?" and you don't let go of that until you do.  

Layer by layer, people slowly cover themselves up w mask after mask until they find one that fits well enough to keep moving forward without anyone detecting the truth.   Someone can ask and the mask will answer first to protect the root layer of truth.  Me and my friend talked about this a lot during sessions, but his mask was good, so layered, I didn't see what he was really showing me.   And I tried to put math on it and say "he has kids, great jobs, money, attractive, people love him... he's good," until he's not good.  

Those masks don't come off easy, they explode off.  

The mask wants to hide the truth and show how tough you are.  "Look how tough I am!  I wont cry at my moms funeral!" and bullshit like that because you think it's important to show some sort of "strength," for your daughters, because it's something special to show.  the mask lies.

The masks mean well.   It thinks it's protecting you by creating a false persona for survival.   But like everything else, there's a price to pay, especially when you lie.  Lie knowingly to yourself and its magnified.  

I believe this is the root cause of most depression and anxiety near us.  Lying knowingly is one thing, lie knowingly to yourself and the price you pay will be magnified.  It will slowly dissect your energy, piece by piece, until you are actually unrecognizable.  Enough lies to yourself and you will no longer be the person you were before the lying.  Once you're in, digging out of this is one hell of a situation because you've created an entirely new reality, all based on lies you told yourself.  Getting out, is going back out the way you came and it's not easy.  It takes a lot of work.  

Don't let this happen.  Don't let this happen to yourself or anyone near you.  Do not compromise your actual being for what you perceive to be a need from an outside energy.   What I mean is in the funeral example above.   I thought I needed to show a character for the people that were looking at me, figurately and literally.   Don't do that.   My daughter Olivia didn't see me cry on that until this past year.  That was long overdo and not real.  People need real, not characters.   

Take the masks off and be truthful.  

If you need a few days to hide away, do it.  

You need balance.   

Men need a sense of tribal attachment and brotherhood.  

Don't let your husband or boyfriend or brother or any of them wear the mask around you.  Ask questions, disarm it, enjoy time, peel it off.  Dissolve it.  

---stop trying to be so cool and just write---

     I was standing w a friend, just me and him.  We were just bullshitting about work and such, but I knew what was sitting there.  I said "make sure you're taking time for yourself."  He didn't even look at me.  He looked down and nodded several times, "yeah."  I continued, "I'm serious, I can feel what you didn't say."  His eyes watered, he nodded again, "yeah."   I persisted, "dont let this fade.... your kids need your energy to be right... it might feel forced but start going through the motions of things you know you like to do even if you don't feel like doing them.  do them anyway, let the energy come back, i'll go with you."

     I was sitting with another friend who went through a rough spell of depression and made some changes.  Chicken or the egg, was it the life that created the depression or the depression that created the life?  you don't know what you don't know.  I know it was the lies he told himself that started to drown him.  The mask couldn't keep up the act and it ate him away.   So as we sat, I reassured him of his decisions but to not continue the lies.  "If you want to get back to good, you have to be genuine and truthful in all ways..." even if they think you're weird.   

   When you see him quitting things he loves, when you see anxiety silence him, when he tells you he's exhausted, sit.   You don't have to talk.   There doesn't have to be an answer or a fix or a thing to discuss at all times.  Silence in comfort works well.  

Sometimes we just need to turn the world off for a little while. 

===

Just reread some a few days after writing... I think I lost my way briefly, but hope it helps.  I think this topic is a much better discussion to record for a podcast vs blog.  Interested?

Lights On Go Dark

I was in the process of updating my website, something that is always a challenge for me. What's too personal? What should look more professional? How much information is the right amount of information?

How much of myself is too much?

I thought, Keep It Simple. Be straight forward, and just start creating... something I haven't done in a little while.

I walked away a few years ago. If you're reading this, good chance you saw the video. I left training and football, mostly because of my daughters. There was an energy flow as well, a bit of a "leak," where it went away and I struggled to keep the cup full and revving hot like I like it. So if its not hot, add in the need to see more of my daughters events, walking away from those 2 things felt like a nice relief.

I went all in on that (walking away). People talked to me about fitness and health, I played dumb. People would ask what I do or what I've been doing... "I work for a manufacturing company, real estate in the evenings and weekends." It was kind of fun to hear how people talk and the things they wonder about involving health, nutrition, movement, etc., and just sit there listening, nodding, maybe telling them to google a question. I wasn't being an asshole, I just unplugged that part of my brain. "What gym should my wife join?" was about the only question/topic that elevated my heart rate (the answer is Titans or Hambden Health & Fitness).

Little by little, drip by drip, things started happening around me. More conversations were near me, I ignored them less. Jumped in and answered a few questions. It felt good. I still let it slide though, thought back to who I used to be... even said that same line out loud to friends, "trying to find who I used to be," because he seemed to not be present.

Drips kept coming. And coming. Little by little, I involved myself and answered more questions, gave more info and it felt really good again. It felt good to be useful. It felt good to have the words to ignite the light inside someone else's head to make them go ah haaa. I could feel some of that energy start to circulate again.

I started looking around the room differently.

Thank you Covid. You and your puppets have said all the right things. Covid truth and the puppets lies has been what I needed to reignite the energy inside the darkness.

Since my mom passed, the darkness has been a strange place for me. I didn't hate it. I liked "disappearing." Again, my previous writings give this context, and my thoughts on a living suicide are part of this idea, because that's what I did, or tried to do.

I read a quote after Conor McGregors last lost from Tim Grover. "He was exposed by the limelight and never found his way back to true darkness that had allowed him to win." Two things in this got my attention. 1) This guy, Tim Grover, knows the darkness the way I like it. 2) Tim Grover was my very first training inspiration way back when WebTv came around.. think about that year.

I "dogboned," one day (I believe that's what the search engine was called, long before you could google), Michael Jordans workout, because I didn't know shit. I knew I wanted to train like an athlete and I wanted to train athletes. Tim Grover popped up, along with the workout routine he ran MJ through, free on the internet. So the timing of seeing Grover again on IG after many years passed, writing what he wrote, then I read the books on his mindset, I knew, I know, its a door I have to step back through.

It's where I live. It's where I come alive.

The darkness of Covid woke me up. Seeing all these people relinquish the trust of their own bodies, it reminded me of my mom. All this trust to a system that needs you sick in order to continue their way of profit and life.

Just like her.

I am not anti-vax, I'm not anti science in anyway. I'm pro truth. Pro-logic. Pro-facts. Don't misread me and project your own feelings on the words I wrote. This situation has highlighted the level of lack of education in our own human bodies. People that are chowing on potato chips, yelling at the tv, telling healthy 20 year olds to get a shot kinda blows my mind. Its not a planet I want to live on but I'm not on Elons space ship yet. So like Gandhi said "Be the change," lets roll.

Are some shots good? Yep.

Know what's real good? Cardio. Lifting weights. Yoga. Walking in the park. Getting sunshine. Hanging with your friends. Reading books. Breathing heavy.

Know what's bad? Limiting your oxygen intake. NOT being in the sun. Stressing about money and jobs and gas prices.

Know what boosts your immune system? Movement. Walking. Eating vegetables. Sunshine.

Know what's bad for your immune system? Giving a fuck about your social media feed. Sitting on the couch too much. Staying inside. Limiting oxygen with undies over your nose and mouth.

I've written it 100x 100 different ways. It was in the Power Programs, it was on the fields and in the yoga studios. It came out of my mouth daily. You have the tools inside of yourself. You just have to flip the switches and get after it.

I can help you make that happen.

A Little of This...

 From 2009-mid 2017, I wrote over 230 entries, 77,000 readers.  

From mid-2017 to about an hour ago, I've written 12.   

Went from over 28 per year to 3 per year.  

But 77 were written, saved as drafts, just never hit the PUBLISH button.  

The "energy," just went away.  Like a switch, the lights went out.   

I'm not trying to start it off as another boo-hoo post, this is about the appreciation of energy.  Not the energy that revs you up for a run or a game or a moment.  Just energy.  

Maybe I can spit something out.. 

I believe we do actually have "switches," of sorts.  We can things on and off inside.  Might be easier for some than others, but they're there.  Have you ever known anyone to just wake up one day and start an exercise program?   I have.  Just 0-100, just like that.  they just flipped a switch.  People often find themselves in situations where its time to plant the foot a redirect the energy.  Maybe its left, maybe right, maybe its just to tighten up into the ground and prepare for a storm.  They just flipped the switch and turned it on.  

Have you ever had a conversation with someone you barely knew, or maybe just someone you didn't know very well (its not the same thing)?   One day, you have a conversation and the talk goes a layer deeper than usual.  Maybe two or three.   Next thing you know, 90 minutes, 2 hours, just floated away and you sat there talking about nothing and everything, and it was excellent.   An energetic exchange. 

Have you ever had an encounter checking out groceries?   Maybe a weird or awkward thing happened and the young person fumbled through everything but still laughed and made fun, like breaking character of playing "grocery store employee,' and you both laugh.  Then you walk out lighter.  An appreciation for the moment and "break," lingered and made you pause.... that was cool.  That's some energy.  

You walk down that street out of blossom, headed for the car.  Crowds of people all around, everyone just buzzing off that encore performance, everyone can feel it.  It's not just a "that band rocked," thing or nostalgia thing.  It's a thing that happens when 30,000 people stand together and sing and dance and focus energy on a source.  

What goes on in Church?   I believe that's what group prayer is about.  

A good yoga room energy... that's something good.   I do miss that juice.  

When you can combine some of that yoga energy into football drill energy, that's some reeaal good energy.  

Breakthroughs happen everywhere.  The mat, the field, the office, the bar, the gym, the woods, the options are unlimited.  But we have to be aware and be willing to receive.  Awareness and receiving are hand in hand.  

We agree on smell, taste, touch, sight, sound.  Maybe we agree because that's currently all we know and all we can prove.  Would it be odd to wonder if there are more?   

How do box up the energy exchange?   How do we label it so we can address it, teach it and explain it so more can be aware?   

Baby steps. 

People pray together.  Sing together.  Move together.  Communicate with each other.   Dance together.  They hold hands.  They cheer together and eat together.  We know that energy.  What it does to our soul, how we feel and how to moves us forward... you can imagine some right now and even get a jolt in your seat.  Careful now!  

Maybe they bitch a little together, we know how that goes.  All too well.  I dont even want to write any bad energy.. but know how that swells around us to.   I have to stop there.  

Which energy do you want?   Go do those things that provide that energy.

Which energy do you not want?   Good, stop doing those thing that provide that energy.  

You may have to redirect your life.  There will be sacrifice, somehow, someway.  There always is.  Sacrifice is absolutely unavoidable so just accept it now as part of the ride and roll with it as it comes.  Because what you'll probably find your sacrificing is actually rooted somewhere inside, that clings to the negative, that darkness, that energetic black hole.  The part of your life that holds onto the moments that leave you feeling like shit, need to be "sacrificed."   

Might be a habit.  Might be a relationship.  Might be your music.  Might be your phone.  Might be your current level of health.  Might be your drink.   Might be the books you are reading.   

You have a song you listen to and when its over, you're like "fuck yeah!"   Play it again.  One more time.  Then the next decision, make it with that song as your energy.  

Then do it again.  

One more time.  

How'd that go?   

(PUBLISH)

It's a little weird being a little weird.     

Show Me The Money!

On the Blue Chip Mindset page, I wrote: 

All these incentives to get a brand new, fairly unproven vax. Seems odd people need to be paid to jump in line. Shows me a few things about facts, character and thought processes.

Most importantly it made me wonder if anyone has ever tried to “incentivize,” and continually educate healthy habits.

I understand. People are scared.

Be afraid of the real possibilities that are slowly building up behind the scenes. Diabetes, cancer, chronic joint pain, etc. I see people shitting their pants to get this shot yet pop a pill to focus, pop another pill to get aroused, pop another pill to settle down for sleep, pop another pill for blood pressure, pop another pill for pain, pop another pill for anxiety, it never fucking ends. But we’re a nation of control and consumerism.... we’re seeing those two trains at full throttle coming right down the tracks

——

I used to think we were all very similar. Maybe this has shown additional truth that I/we continue to learn every day.

Where I wrote, "Be afraid of the real possibilities building up behind the scenes," that stuck with me for a few hours, days actually.  I admit, sometimes I'll write something then reflect later and wonder if I expressed it properly.   Was it too harsh?   Too vague?  Did I misinterpret something and lost someone?   It's a touchy situation right now, easy to piss people off and then lose opportunity for further education and understanding... that's not good.  

But I cant help but see the irony and the infinite cycle of the thoughts and actions that are revolving around us.   

I've always felt heath and wellness was a financial issue.  I've written and talked about that for 15 years.  Someone may counter with "education," but they go hand in hand.   Finances, unfortunately are the primary source to open the field of education.  Again, the volley would be that education is free now, all over the internet.   But the information has been so compromised, so fragile, I don't think most people know fact from fiction, science from style, and if you dont have a moderate-strong understanding of our own bodies, you'll lose enthusiasm for the material and give up and give in.   Which is why obesity continues to climb.   

Many people over think what to do in gyms.   Many people over think what an exercise program is.   This is probably one of the places I "failed," as a personal trainer.   I did not let people lean on me for the long haul.  I told everyone, "the goal is to not need me for very long."  When you're trying to educate people to the point of "not needing me," that's not a very strong business model.  An honest one, yes, but nothing you can retire from.  

That's the difference between me and the things I see in so many other people.   I saw it in my mother and her addiction to the doctors words over mine.   After-all, shouldn't we trust another human that has spent $150,000+ on an education, has a new title in front of their name and hangs degrees and certs everywhere?   Sounds like these people are on the up and up, right?   We should trust them!   Right?  But how many doctors say "the goal is to not need me for very long"?

How many stories do you know where someone needs a prescription to cure an issue then the prescription creates another issue?   So now there's two new meds circulating.  "Med 1 effects Med 2... maybe if we adjust Med 1...." and off they go.   Sales & Marketing. 

That will offend many people.   

Has science and medicine cured and saved many?   We know the answer is yes.   But we also know there is a darkside that's been corrupted.    Ever spend time in the Seidman Cancer Center?   Ever spend hours there wondering how much money they make?   How about the mark up on something simple like... oh, idk.. insulin?   

Medicine makes money.   To continue the billion dollar industry, they need sick people.   How do they create sickness?   

Keep people dumb.  Keep them confused.  Scare them.   Keep people leaning on doctors and the system.   

If people knew and believed they could stay healthy with fruits, vegetables, proper serving sizes, variety of movements and cardio... would their system make as much money?   

How does this thought align with what we see in todays world?

Then weave all the other stories into this.... follow the money and you'll find the truth.  You wont like it.   You wont want to believe it.   But if you follow the money and have a beginners understanding of the depth of corruption possible, you'll start thinking about things a little more deeply. 

Somewhat off-topic, but does effect what I wrote above, that someone may attempt to debate.  Cholesterol.  (generic but accurate)

One of the functions of cholesterol is to help build healthy cells and produce testosterone. 

Balanced, appropriate levels of testosterone help stabilize/regulate sex drive, fat-muscle ratio, muscle mass and strength.  

Lean muscle helps run the metabolism "hot," burning off unnecessary fat cells, therefore reducing the risk of  diabetes, heart disease, inflammations, joint pain, etc.  

Do you know what other disease loves chewing up and strengthening itself off of inflammation?  

Cancer.  

So why do we have over 35,000,000 taking cholesterol meds vs educating, promoting and incentivizing a healthy lifestyle?   

The government, pharmaceutical companies, hospitals, etc., do not make (enough) money at the salad bar.   Your garden in the backyard isnt regulated or taxed.  

---

Overall point:   Remove their power by owning every decision in your life.  Your health and happiness is on you.  

----

Anyone else concerned about a person that:  Is the money behind the vaccines (may even hold a patent on them); was a financial contributor to the lab in Wuhan; on record warning of over population; and now owns 242,000 acres of United States farmland?   

Follow the money.  

---

More facts. 

All or None

 Sensitive times... 

Everyone's right.   

You're definitely wrong.

Racist or insane?  

Selfish or short term thinker?   

You have not lived long enough... not enough experience to know.

You've been here too long... time for young blood.

"Hold up... none of that is me, I don't know who he's talking about..."

...but someone thinks you are.  

WE think WE'RE right.  So if WE'RE right, THEY must be wrong.  Right?  

Right?  

But I'm pro-police... so I must be racist. 

And I do feel we have a deep layer of systematic racism still at play... so all cops and judges are bad.  

or maybe, just maaaaybe, we're all being played.  Are there bad cops?  yep.  Are there racists?   yep.  Are there assholes of all sorts?  yep.  Are there even black or minority racists?  yep.  All that is true.  There's bad doctors, there's bad politicians, there's bad teachers, bad parents, bad bosses, bad everything.  It's true.  It all exists out there in the world.  You may have had experiences with one or all the above.  I'm sorry to hear that.  

I am not one of them.  I can easily scan through my phone and find a hundred people who would say the same for themselves.  

There's a very weird space where we can say as an individual human, "I am ____," or "I am not ____," but then we see these masses of individuals on television forming a type of tribe and think "jeez, they must all be _____."  I'm sorry, its not even a television, its a social media app.  A social media app that makes a lot of money keeping you engaged.  

So how real is it?  

Pretty good, right?  

As individuals, we don't have this anger and hate and fear.  But we create a symbol of a thing that is not us and we must conquer it.  I think this is ironic.  

"Why is this ironic?"

Because creating an external suppressor (and both sides have) is much easier to deal with than dealing with yourself. 

...And then when we can paint friends and neighbors into the tribe that is not us, now we have a real deal going

---

I'm may say a few things that may read hypocritical. 

I might not make perfect sense.  

I might say "maybe," a lot.  

Because I dont know anything.  

But there's a math here and trying to re-scramble the numbers, because everything I'm reading doesn't add up.  

---

We dont trust anything... maybe for a really good reason.  

Looks like the govt owns the media.  Someone definitely owns the media and it does not appear to be actual journalists.  So we pretty much know we're not getting unbiased info.  We're getting click bait and sensationalism because they really need your face glued to whatever face they have staring back at you.   I don't know the names of many stations, but I hear station x leans left and station y leans right.  Twitter is censoring people, instagram is removing hashtags, Zuckerberg sold all the info to the CIA.

---

Zoom out... 

Remove yourself from yourself and take a seat high above the country.   Lets slide time back to early 2020...  walk yourself through March... April... May... think of everything that happened as an unbiased observer... think of the order of things... think of how moving one decision to one space, created a reaction in another space... June... July... will school start on time?   August... September... October... November.. 

I hope you were able to review without judgment... try again.  

Look at ALLLL of those events and moments that snowballed into more events and moments and it somehow all connected to one scenario.  

Keep thinking.  

Isnt this all a little too odd?   

---

We've been so busy tribing up and hating those who are not us, we stopped paying attention.  

Stress levels have gone skyyyyYYYY high.  We're walking around, wearing masks - worried about covid and the cure... how about that?   We don't know what's scarier, covid or the "cure?"  Everyone says "boy we need that vaccine," and now we here its 90% effective.  But I dont know if I know one person ready to be first in line.  

We cant seem to trust a government operation to count ballots, you think I'm going to trust a rushed and clearly politically motivated vaccine?  

Or maybe everything is just a political tool.  Even us.  A bunch of tools. 

---

I've seen some really weird things on social media... 

A lot of violence.  Maybe we're really not as advanced as we think or wish we were.   Maybe we just really suck, but really good at projecting versions of people we wish we were... maybe thats why everyone is so depressed.  The acting.  The pretending to be good and decent is exhausting and we eventually crack and the real deal comes out.  

Maybe.  

A lot of posturing.  Same as above but maybe more gross.  The above "pretending," is probably subconscious, we dont even know its what we do, its so deep.  But the posturing is a gross decision.  It's where people think, then decide, "I want to be viewed as _____."  

"What's the cool thing I can be now?   I'll posture up and become it."

A lot of fear.  It's sad.  I've read and searched too much, things I wish I didnt.  Sat and thought too much about things I wish I didnt.  The future feels uncertain, more than ever and that lack of vision is shaky.  I'm speaking as a culture, as a society.  

We have badly lost our way.  

A lot of abuse.  Abuse of power.  Abuse of influence.   Thats pretty bad.  To intentionally deceive.  no accidents.  "I am going to bait you in and trick you and then I own your thoughts."

---

I dont blame a politician.   I dont blame a cop.  I dont blame the news.  I dont blame God.  I dont blame the older generations.  

I blame myself.  And I think you should do the same.  

I dont really care much but what any dumbshit on television says, no matter if behind a podium or playing basketball.  

I say I blame myself and I think you should do the same, for a reason.  But first think.  

Think "I am responsible for this," and I dont mean the events.  I dont blame myself for covid, dont do that.  

I blame myself for my emotions and the reactions they've created inside of myself.  (I want to say "im sorry if that reads crazy," but I cant.. think).  

If we all took personal accountability and owned everything in our personal world.  Every outcome, we worked to steer it properly, mindfully, to secure the best outcome for each other...   

---

Remember when we were little and afraid to act up, especially as we got closer to Christmas?  If we got in trouble in March, "santa," would forget that one.  But if we f'd up in December?  Santa will absolutely find out.  

So we checked our own behavior.  

Then as I got older, it was coach.  Act up, coach will find out.... you should see me shaking my head even right now... coach finds out, it will not go well.  

So we checked our own behavior. 

Maybe the lack of religion and faith has left us we no coach, santa or great judge assisting us to check our own behavior. 

And maybe this lack of faith has influenced also a lack of shame.   

Remember when we would do something we knew was wrong, and the conversation we had in our own heads weighed us down?   We knew we were wrong, but we did it anyway and now we feel like shit.  We judged ourselves.  Good.  Shame.  It's needed.  Do something stupid, you should feel like shit about it.

But do we?   

I'm not innocent.  

---

I'm just sitting in my basement, listening to The Doors, trying to feel "ok," about being called a racist for living in a county that voted for Donald Trump.   That bothers me.  For one, it was a friend.  Should I say former friend?   Or is he as confused as everyone else?  

---

Rogan referenced Reagans reference to "Alien watchers," and I wondered.   

How insanely embarrassing it would be if all the lights turned on and the curtain fell and there's the crowd... staring at us... in complete disbelief about our behavior and what we've done with this opportunity.  

---

Can you have faith and be progressive? 

Is there wiggle room for a variation of human evolution while maintaining tradition? 

---

We stopped communicating respectfully and because of that, we've removed opportunities for compromise and understanding.  Because WE are right and THEY are wrong and absolutely nothing else except our ideas and opinions could possibly make any sense.  

---

That's how I'm feeling today.

   

A Drop from the Ocean

I'm not sure if I'm religious, but I'm confident in my faith. 

I'm disappointed.  A lot of you are too. 
I promise, I don't intend this to be a long, political rant.  We could all use a break from that. 
This is personal. 

I recorded a video last Sunday, link here, where I used a quote from Aubrey Marcus that I believe he rounded out from someone else. 
"You are a drop from the ocean, and the ocean forgot."

It was a video about perspective.  Perspective on time, maybe importance and priorities.  Maybe more that I didn't realize. 

You are a drop from the ocean, and the ocean forgot. 

I remember struggling for words occasionally, only because I was worried that if I came off too casual or unconcerned, someone would think the recent events are not that important.  As if the quote and interpretations could mean "eh, whats the big deal in the grand scheme anyway?"

Within the perspective of time, I am actually saying that and then the opposite.  This is a blip that the future will discuss and dissect, but you will not be remembered.  In the infinite, this is nothing.
But it is our everything. 
It's our everything of our everything. 
Infinite means very little to us, now, because we will not touch it as humans.  (uh oh, here we go)

It's our everything and to most people alive, this is the most important phase we have ever known.  My frustration is that we behave opposite of both of my scenarios. 

We don't blow it off like "eh, whats the big deal anyway?" and we certainly don't treat it like our everything is on the line. 
Is there space between?   I don't think so, not anymore.  I think we were already floating in that space between, and that is what has landed us where we are.   

We need structure and freedom. 
We need limits and choice. 
You will immediately want to argue this, but look at your life.  Do you not operate better with some routine?   Do things not run more smoothly for you when you have plans?  That's structure, you are free to choose the structure that fits x outcome. 

I think we play chicken with dangerous scenarios when we lean choice and freedom too far away structure and limits.  No one wants a lawless world, but we also do not want to live under martial law.  We want balance.  Or at least I do.  I continue to write "we," as if you've been nodding along... have you? 



There are over 328,000,000 currently living in the United States of America (man, I want to feel pride in those 5 words again soon) and nearly 8,000,000,000 in the world.   If we want all lives, across the entire planet to have importance, healthy lives, we need great unity.   A common vision.

We cannot see people as statistics or numbers. 
They are us, we are them, living a different existence. 
I've said many times, where you born, who you born to, on and on, it was luck.   Being able to type this out tonight, was luck.   You reading this on you iPhone, a lot of luck. 
Because it's 2020 and you are alive to read this in the greatest phase this planet and our entire everything has ever known.  Do you not feel a massive calling to level up your life in every opportunity?   Do you still not understand that although we are drop of water from the ocean, and the ocean forgot, we are everything. 
Because it might be all we'll ever know, finite. 
That's good pressure. 

Have conversations and influence progressive dialogue.  People will say crazy things, educate, don't shut it down.  Push-push is combat, push-counter-pull is momentum. 

I do not think this is that hard, so it's definitely not impossible.  It's not a crazy dream, it should be our direction and future. 


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I've been noticing more birds lately... maybe I'm just taking the time to notice them. 
I ran and sat in the park to stretch.  Actually kicked off the socks/shoes and relaxed in the grass for a little while.  Nothing to see but trees and grass. 
And I just stared and zoned out on nothing.  It was a great, needed moment.  And my first thought was "opportunity." 
We are too great to suffer the way we are.  We have opportunities in every moment.  Win them.   Win moments, with one decision at a time, in every way.  The next choice that comes along, make the best decision you can with all information you can.  Put that habit on repeat for the day and watch what happens. 
It starts with micro to build a strong macro. 

8,000,000,000 micros... one great decision at a time. 
I see a worldwide culture shift.