(As the training and atmosphere has evolved, so has the blog. I apologize in advance for not writing about push ups and sprints all the time.)
The more I move along, I learn/accept/understand how important connections are to our state of mind and probably overall well being. I guess it could be just me, but the more I write and share, the more people tell me how much they relate, so I use "we," and "our," and "us," much more often.
And even in using those words, they're "connecting," adjectives... So that's where my mind is.
Which is ironic and difficult for me sometimes. Because the thing I need most is the thing I actually avoid out of fear. Why? When I was younger, I struggled w keeping energy low and chill, so my instincts are to crank it up and look to maximize every opportunity and push the envelope, however possible. Over time, I realized a few things, A) it's really annoying :) and B) not every moment has to explode through the sky the way I was always aiming. Basically, I felt a little like an alien... So I pulled away and hid a bit. I felt out of place. Like http://youtu.be/Cy6iwP9Ux3A
I'd get invited out... I'd make up an excuse to stay home. (As I'm writing, our lady peace's live version of "innocent" came on the pod for everyone to hear - http://youtu.be/MpFfLO9cSRc).
But something crushed that this summer... A few things actually. Like a giant came through and smashed all my little hiding places and I somehow plugged back in... Through music, through training, through experiences, they were all sending me messages and signs. Everywhere I went, I was reading "come back," and "get out of the damn house." I mentioned a few blogs ago about my delay in deciding to coach and I've thought about quitting training many, many times... But it all settled and I realized something's that were very hard to realize younger. I'm needed here.
At first read, you may have read that like I'm being egotistical, but I'd say the same thing about you too. You're needed here.
I ignored that for a long, long time... I refused to believe it. You may call it a "self worth," issue, I'm fine with that. Exposing insecurities builds strength and I have zero issues exposing my flaws or insecurities.
"Wrap it up!"
The connection... It's fresh air. The more we talk, the more we share, the better we are. I truly believe that. Even on a weirdo, deep level that I love to dive to... Let's say the yoga world :) moving together, breathing and sweating... That's awesome :) Saying something that sparks a thought to ten people and they're all on this epic level... God, that's amazing to witness.
I'm making more of an effort to get back to my true inner voice and further... No more caution lights, dive into what you fear and really feel it.
Of course, my mind is all on this "primal theory," of who we are or what we are as humans, developing and evolving. I referenced above "fresh air," and how refreshing conversations and connections are. I believe that's so crucial to full fill our lives.... To talk and share thoughts and feelings... Eye contact... Body language... Breath... Open expressions of experiences... Empathy and sympathy... It's all needed, like air.
At the top I said "as I move along..."
Because it's a path, a journey, with so much to experience along the way. If you keep your head down or cut yourself off from society and people, you're going to miss the fun.
Where are you connecting?
Where are you avoiding connections?
If we were reaching, what could this have to do w fitness?
Maybe energy level would be higher, lower anxiety or stress levels. Those three things right there could recenter your focus and get you headed in a better direction.
Shed the ego, expose yourself, and live freely.
Peace, love and empathy.
