After hearing a couple reviews, which I usually ignore, turns out yesterdays podcast came off negative. We text about it and all, but maybe it would be decent/helpful to clear it up.
When I talked about "finding a purpose," and that purpose actually being happiness and inner peace... I heard "whats wrong?" Someone heard it and thought "how depressing," and that really felt alien to me.
I let my dogs out into the yard a few minutes ago. As they sprinted out and ran a couple random circles, I thought I want that. I want the feeling they have, like "holy crap, I cant believe we're out here again!!! I never thought it would happen!" and sprint around the "yard."
But theres always next year...
Theres next season...
Next month...
When I turn 45...
or 25...
Lets do that next summer...
Lets make a plan, let's set a goal! and do that together next time...
Which is the issue. We think our time is unlimited. We let ourselves forget how incredibly fragile this life is and think "There's always tomorrow." Til the day happens when tomorrow is now, and the clock is finished.
What we really have is now.
And then... now.
Ad now again.
Fill in the blank with the "tomorrow is ____ and yesterday was___," right? It can be challenging to maintain, the thought that is, but its real. Just, now.
So no, I dont have goals. I dont have the goal sheets anymore. I don't think that should be confused with lack of ambition. Plus I do believe there is a time and place for goals and certain attitudes, but they don't exist in my personal mind, my actual consciousness..
A friend told me he made a list of "things he likes," and thought I should to. As I spent some time to think about, the list really didn't surprise me. It's all the things I like to do everyday (I badly need a float center on the east side). Now all I want to do is schedule for myself. Super simple. I want to schedule things in my life that make me happy. That is all. If we need to say "that's a goal," feel free.
Don't think I'm depressed or "broken," (although broken is sort of true in a good way) or any goofy label.
I'm just enjoying a new view on this ride.
